Long-Term PTSD Treatment, Please Help

Please Help. I am a 24 year old girl (almost 25) with a daughter. I have been victimized by multiple rapes, molestation, drug abuse, and I have very serious abandonment issues because I have had 2 sets of parents abandon me (I know I sound pathetic but its real and very serious). I lost custody of my daughter due to my severe PTSD. My current parents have custody of my daughter which is not good for reasons I'd rather not discuss here. I was on Maryland State Health Insurance and was trying to pursue treatment but because I no longer have custody of my daughter my health insurance was taken away, the State will no longer give me health insurance and I cannot afford insurance elsewhere. I am psychologically incapable of working because of everything stemming form my PTSD. I am receiving support from my friend and his family but they do not have the financial resources available to send me to treatment and we have exhausted every other option. This sounds crazy but this site seems to be my last option.

My daughter has been taken away and I am trying to get her back but it requires long term trauma treatment. I have been to multiple inpatient facilities over the past few months, but none of them could provide the help I need - one of them took me off my medication which was against my doctors recommendation and it cause very serious health issues - I ended up in the emergency room. All of the treatment centers I have gone to (except for the one that took me off my medication, Mountain Manor) were only available up to about 21 days of treatment, even though it seemed like no treatment was ever provided. They provided no trauma therapy. The only treatment centers nearby capable of providing the treatment I need will be Brookhaven Retreat in Tennessee or The Retreat by Sheppard Pratt in Maryland.


In the past I have contributed immensely to my drug abuse problems trying to escape my inner turmoil (again I know I sound pathetic but it is a serious medical issue which will require long-term trauma treatment). I hate sounding like I'm feeling sorry for myself but I feel hopeless and worthless. I feel like a rag-doll. I feel like I deserve this. I have Psychogenic seizures (nonepileptic seizures) resulting from PTSD (too much stress and anxiety overloading my brain which shuts my body down and causes serious prolonged seizures), "border-line personality disorder" (which I believe stems from my anger about past events), I struggle with an eating disorder, and have had agoraphobia ever since a man who claimed to work for a "modelling agency" took me for a "photo shoot" - he kidnapped me and violated me in other ways I do not feel comfortable discussing here.


My friend found this site and convinced me to at least try it. Please help, I am begging you - I need to get well so I can have my daughter back. She is my only happiness. I love her more than anything in the world. I need the treatment and structure to retrain my brain and learn the necessary life skills such as cooking, managing finances, decision making, developing courage, etc. I have no money. I am awaiting a decision from Social Services about receiving disability SSI benefits but that will never be able to pay for the treatment I need. (Maryland laws regarding drug addicts and people who need treatment for mental illnesses or PTSD are horrible!)


Please help! I will send pictures of myself and my recovery process to anyone who can help, I will send you poems I have written and if I have the opportunity to write short stories I will send those too. I will list your names as the people who helped save my life on a recovery blog (I have not made this blog yet but I will). This is all I have to offer in return.


Thank you for any help you can provide. My daughter needs me and I need my daughter.