Alexis's college education

Hi. My name is Alexis, and I am a sophmore in college. I started attending Central Penn College in the summer of 2014. Throughout highschool I was not as knowledgable on some things as I am now. I messed up a lot, and when i say a lot, I mean a lot. The girls in the school did not seem to like me very much, so I got into a lot of fights instead of focusing on getting ready for college. I hung with the wrong crowd which kept me from doing the things that I really wanted to do. I joined track every year but ended up quitting right before the end of the season. I joined cheerleading and quit because I did not fit in, and I surely did not try to either. I was apart of the LGBT club at my school, but I hardly went, and ended up not going at all after a while. I could not deal with the confrontation of being different, and wanting more out of this life that I was living. In high school, being on track is weird, wanting to help people for no reason is stupid, and partying is the only thing to do. I did not realize that i had so much potential, and could possibly of been going to the college of my dreams, if i would of tried. My senior year of high school i finally realized that if i wanted to get into any college, i had to step it up. I knew that it might be too late, but i still wanted to try. A couple weeks into my senior year, i had an 'in school suspension' for being late, and not going to the assigned punishment, which was detention. I ended up in a room with one other girl, who just so happened to hate everything about me for no apparent reason. I knew it wasn't a good idea for us to be in the same room together, in fact, we weren't even allowed to be, because of a prior incident. There have been countless times where i was bothered by this girl who is three times my height and weight, and also by the rest of her friends and family. The entire neighborhood that i lived in hated me so badly, they decided to jump me three times because of it.  So when i seen the assistant principle walk into the ISS (in school suspension) room i decided to ask her if one of us could be moved to a different room. The girl overheard me and decided to make it into an argument which eventually led into a fight. After being bothered so many times, at 7 o'clock in the morning, this girl decides to punch me in my face while i was sitting down typing up my paper. Unfortunately, i let my anger get the best of me, and i used whatever was closest to me, as a weapon. I decided to defend myself against this girl with a chair, and swung at anything in my way because i blacked out from the stress of the situation. I ended up scratching up the assistant teachers arms, and scaring everybody enough for them to get the three biggest teachers and administrators in the school to restrain me. This was the same year that i gained the stregth to join the school newspaper, and i even signed up for a play! I was so mad and hurt, because as soon as i decided to start again, to actually try this time, something gets in my way. And it seems like, something always gets in my way. The school ended up opening an investigation, where as my choices were to either pull myself out of school to be home schooled online, or i can wait until the investigation was over, to see what the decision was. There was no point in waiting out the investigation to test my chances because i had none. I scraped the assistant princples arms, while this girl just hit me. Obviously my punctured face was not as serious as this teachers scraped up arms, so i ended pulling myself out of school. I did not want to, i wanted to fight. I wanted my education, i wanted my chance. I wanted that chance to succeed. But its my fault, because I held off, i waited to use my chance at suceeding and i waited too long. My luck ran out, and i got stuck choosing the only school that accepted me. Although honestly, i only applied for one other school, because i had no more hope in myself, or in the "system", if that is what you would call it. I lost hope for a while but i was not going to let myself fail, not again. I decided to visit this unknown college called Central Penn. It was so pretty when i first seen it, i kind of fell in love. I loved that it was buisness orientated, with apartment and townhouse living arangements. The school was small, so there would be less distractions, which was perfect for me. I needed this school, and i knew it as soon as i seen it. This is where i found that hope that i lost a while back. I realized that there is no set future for anyone, and just because every Springfield High School student got accepted to Penn State, Temple, or West Chester doesnt mean that i had to also. Maybe they just werent meant for me, maybe Springfield High school wasnt meant for me, and this is where i was suppossed to be all along. So now i am here, with all these past experiences on my brain, trying to get through college while working a part time job which is not as easy mentally, as it seems. I work at a Giant food store near my school, and i am trying my best to be able to not ask anyone for anything. I know that is kind of ironic, as i write this description of why i need people to donate to me, but i figured i would give it a shot. Who knows what could happen, but any help towards groceries, car expenses, and daily necessities would be more then amazing. I do not really know how to end this, but i feel as though i have said all that was needed to say. Honestly, after writing this, i feel like i should start my own blog. I wanted to add so much more about what i have been through and how it has made me who i am today. Afterall, i am a communications major, and also the chairperson of public relations for the student government association at my college. So its not like writing is new to me, i obviously love it. But anyways, if you think im worth it, and you would like to contribute to making my dream come true, then just give what you can. I promise to do my part, and contribute to society as i have always wanted to do. I even have a dream to start my own nonprofit organization helping get homeless people off the streets, and preventing them from going there ever again. I have a plan to call it Street Sweepers, but that is under consideration. I now have nothing holding me back, which is one of the reasons i am putting myself out there and creating this account. There is no harm in trying and that is all i am doing. I just want my chance.



-lex