Gift of Life - 80th Birthday Wish

Hello and Happy New Year, everyone!

I am beginning this campaign for assistance in the care, health and well-being of my grandmother, who was diagnosed with dementia in 2006. My grandma Dot turns 80 on January 7th and this is my birthday wish for her for this year.

With the thoughts, prayers, donations and help from all of you, I will be able to go on a leave of absence from my job and dedicate my time and energy on nursing my grandmother back to life regardless of how long that may take, and because she no longer has life insurance or is able to get any, revisit burial arrangements for her homegoing service in the future.

We have been here at the hospital since December 29th. Brought in the new year together and ready to tackle each day with each other. She has sacrificed so much for me, my siblings, my mom and my aunt - so much in fact, she lost her life insurance policy, lost her home that she owned for over 40 years and has literally given her life to provide and make sure that we had everything that we needed. 

For the past seven years, I have been a fulltime caregiver for my grandma alongside my 42 year old mom and my 20 year old sister, who has been hands on intensively since she was 12. But life, as we all know, will always come with unexpected circumstances and changes. 

I moved away from home for good in January 2014 to continue my life as an adult. I knew that was going to be tough for my mom and sister as they would then have to bear the weight and take on more as it was now only the two of them to care fulltime for grandma. Then in May 2014, my mom had a stroke at 42. This blindsided us in an incredible way because 1) mama hadn't shown one sign of having a stroke or being sick and 2) it was time for us to adjust to life again. My aunt and uncle moved in temporarily to assist with things and I moved back for a while as well. Shortly after, I left again. Both of my jobs were calling and the space had started to get cramped.

Caring for my grandmother is no easy task. As of now, she is 100% dependent on someone to care for her. Caring for my mother, at that time, was no easy task. They both had doctors appointments, they both needed medical attention, they both needed care and assistance around the clock.

I honestly feel down in my soul that this is something that God has been speaking to me for a while now. This was confirmed by my recent visit to our family cemetery.

Now, growing up the way I grew up, we were taught that when people die and pass on, they are no longer in their bodies. It's just a shell. I followed that teaching so much that, out of judgment - based on what someone told me to do and not thinking for my own, true self, I forced that belief on people as well. Then one day I was led internally to drive 30 minutes from Atlanta to our hometown of Covington to get to the cemetery. I sat still in the car once I arrived because I didn't know what I was doing. I just felt in my spirit that I needed to go there. Once I got out of the car, I walked straight to where my grandfather lay and started pouring out my heart to him. It was so incredible because all of that teaching went straight out the door. The interesting thing about it is I had never met my grandfather. He died when my mother was only 8 years old. But I called out to him, I cried out, I got on my knees and begged for forgiveness. I asked for forgiveness for not stepping into my place and role earlier as a continuation of the legacy that he left for my grandmother, his daughters, and his future, unborn grandchildren, great-grandchildren and so on.

I apologized for that and felt such a great release - I felt lifted and more motivated in honoring him and her and my entire family. I then honored my Uncle Keith, my grandmother's son who was killed by a car at 4 years old. After I spent time with him, I moved over to Grandma Dot's parents. I thanked them for bringing her into the world and for instilling morals and values in her.  Then I went to my grandmother's sister and brother and honored them. Finally after that, I went to my grandfather's mother, who I was a caregiver for in 2012 until her death and offered libations to her and her husband, my great-grandfather, as well. Again, these are all people, human beings, spirits, my blood related, immediate family that I had never met before. But the tears that I shed that day, tears of joy, love, peace and liberation, connected my soul with theirs.

I finally went back to my grandfather and made a vow to him. I made a promise to look after and care for my grandma as long as she has breath in her body. No matter what doctors say, no matter what the natural says, no matter how hard and difficult and trying it may be. I am giving my all to her because she gave her all for me.

So, I am asking anyone out there if you feel led to give in any capacity whatsoever, please help me do this for my grandmother's 80th birthday and beyond. I work in retail and my salary will not allow me to effectively give her the care and attention that she truly needs to return to life. So, again I ask, if you feel led to give, please do so. No donation is too small and we would be honored with your thoughts and your prayers as well.

I will be sure to create and include updates and share our journey and intimate moments with you all even after we end this campaign. Would love to stay connected with all of you.

Thank you again for your time, thoughts, prayers, positive energy and donations.

Happy 2015 and God bless!