Katy Arbuthnot Memorial Fund

In the words of Maya Angelou, "A great soul serves everyone all the time." This sentence perfectly describes Katy. Her impact is indeed woven into the fabric of countless lives she touched. To her parents, siblings, family members, childhood besties, dear friends, and co-workers, I am deeply sorry for your loss. Please allow me grace as I attempt to do the impossible, fully aware that my knowledge briefly skims the depth of Katy's impact.

To the students at Oakville Middle School, where Katy taught math and was honored to be Project Lead the Way teacher, Katy adored you. She often shared stories of your accomplishments and tenacity. To Katy, you were the light, illuminating a better world, compact with kindness and empathy, and room for all to thrive, regardless of our differences.

Katy saw unique potential in all students, and she advocated passionately to highlight opportunities for growth and advancement, especially across underrepresented communities. Katy championed diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives at Oakville Middle School, where she was employed for 18 years, and Betty Wheeler Classical Junior Academy, where she was a member of the PTO.

As I type this, I recognize the countless ways Katy gave forward, maximizing every hour of the day to make a difference in the lives of others. At Betty Wheeler, Katy spearheaded the Eye See Me book fair, ran the Buzz Book, led a Girl Scout troop, supported Girls on the Run, accepted responsibility to be the PTO treasurer, and so much more. To say Katy had a servant's heart is an understatement. Katy's passion to serve others, coupled with her unique ability for making everyone feel included, her warm energy, and contagious smile were true gifts to us all. Our community is stronger because of Katy, and her impact will last for years to come.

To her Betty Wheeler family, especially the teachers who cherish her girls as their own, who are as committed to their students as Katy was to hers, thank you for continuing to be the light for her most valued treasures, Lilly and Raegan. Katy's girls are incredibly lucky to be in your care.

As we all know well, Lilly and Raegan were her pride and joy. Katy poured her heart into raising her girls, always striving to create a better world for them to thrive in. As they bravely go forward without Katy physically present by their side, please continue to keep them, and Rob, in your prayers. Recently, Rob shared it's been unbelievable to feel the reach and depth of Katy's impact on the community. Now, it's our turn to help impact the Arbuthnot family.

Here's the part where I share the one thing Katy struggled with: accepting help. A quick story: while at church one Sunday morning, Katy's window was smashed. Recognizing the expense and wanting to help, I transferred money to Katy, which she pridefully returned. Being stubborn myself, each time she returned my gift, I transferred a higher amount. We played this game until she set aside her pride and accepted help. The truth is, I wasn't transferring monetary funds because I had more to give; I was transferring funds for all I had already received through the gift of her friendship. As many of you know, Katy was that friend, the one you could always count on, the glue that binds so many of us together. Life with Katy by your side is just better, period.

As many have reached out feeling drawn to help, hoping there's some small way you can show your support to help Rob and the girls as they begin to breathe after loss, easing the burden of financial fears is one way to do so, as well as participating in meal trains, and continuing to lift them up in prayer.

Like Katy, Rob is bravely setting aside his pride to create space for us all to support their family with monetary gifts. While it can be uncomfortable to accept help, we shared with Rob that WE, Katy's community, want to help provide a light forward, paying tribute to the light Katy shined upon us.

Thank you, in advance for reading, sharing, and contributing to Katy’s Memorial Fund. Rob and the girls can feel your love, generosity, and kindness.

Visitation: Sunday, August 25 at 1:00 pm to 6:00 pm, Nieburg-Vitt, Miller Funeral Home, 1206 Jefferson St, Washington, MO, 63090

Mass: Monday, August 26 at 10:00 am, St. Gertrude's Parish, 6535 State Hwy YY, Washington MO, 63090

A luncheon will follow after the burial. KC Hall, 1121 Columbia Lane, 63090.

Update: I received a beautiful message from one of Katy's former students about the impact she had on their life. If you are a former student and feel comfortable sharing, I'd love to collect stories for Lilly and Reagan. Please use the Contact button to share your story with us.