Reliable Transportation

My hope is to buy a reliable vehicle.

 Let me try to connect the downward spiral as best I can.

I don't have a vehicle because I couldn't afford the insurance or payment on the vehicle I had.  I couldn't afford those expenses because I overspent on a business venture that ultimately didn't succeed.  I overspent on that venture because I knew taking the risk in sales on a commission-income could (and hopefully would) result in a higher income than a salaried, operations position in the industry I was in.  I took that risk because I was recently divorced and wanted to pursue my career dream.  I knew it wouldn't be the easiest first year in the business, but unfortunately, I didn't generate the leads I expected or needed to sustain myself, and because I didn't have a divorce attorney, I didn't make very solid choices in the process of my divorce, I had no other sustainable means of income.  

After several months without any income, my car was repossessed. 

 

I trace back the events all of the time, and I ask myself daily how this happened.

 I put so much thought into most of those choices.  I referenced colleagues, a good friend who is a financial advisor, mentors, and I honestly thought with all of me that I would be able to earn what I was making at my job in operations and more if I put my energy, time and money into certain marketing efforts, partnerships and affiliations.

While I know there are people around us hungry and homeless, ill and overcoming horrific disease and unfortunate phases of their life, I realize that without asking for help, the battle of borrowing vehicles to get to my children will be an obstacle I face far longer if I don't just ask for your help.

Why can't I ask for help from my family?  Understable question.  My mother has made poor choices for the entirety of her adolesence and adulthood.  She's an addict, and currently incarcerated.  My Grandmother who raised me passed in July.  Most of her inheritance had been spent over the last few years of her life helping other family members and sadly, where and how and to whom, I am not sure.  I have asked my biological Father for help in the past, and he wasn't willing or able, for whatever the case.  He is remarried and has another daughter in college, so I understand he has other obligations financially.

Why don't you get a job?  Legitament question.  Daily, I am applying for operations positions in banks and mortgage companies, affiliated industries such as real estate closing offices and mortgage insurance firms, as well as clerical/admin positions.  I have applied for approximately 55 positions in Atlanta and Athens.  Of those, I have been offered 5 interviews.  Of those interviews, none have resulted in offers.  While getting a part-time job is certianly an option, I haven't had much success.  I think it is because there are so many people searching for part-time work during the holidays.  The effort, help and assistance it takes to get resumes printed, transportation to the interviews and the emotion of not hearing back from a company is something I am new to.  Never in the ten years as a working adult have I encountered the repetitive discouragement and rejection.

 Where are your kids?  I knew you'd ask.  My children's Father and I share joint-custody.  However, when my mortgage busines began to struggle, and I foresaw my mortgage leads decreasing, I agreed the best thing for our children would be that their Father caretake for them.  He, his family and a live-in Nanny raise them while I utilitze the minimal child support I receive as best I can when I am their provider, every other weekend.  I have asked for his help.  His response is that he 'kept me up long enough'.  He 'used to feel responsible, but this is my problem' and he isn't willing to be a part of helping me get back on my feet.

My obstacle is that I have access to borrow two vehicles - a small convertible Eclipse that doesn't easily fit my children's size car seats and a vehicle that needs new brakes and has a busted back window.  It has been the help and transportation of friends, prior colleagues and strangers to get me to Athens to pick my children up then back to Atlanta.  My exhusband has offered to pick the children up on Sundays, and he has done that for me once, but because of his schedule and career demands, he isn't able to bring my children to me on Fridays.  I do have some people willing to transport them, but if there is any way I could purchase a vehicle outright, without the obligation of a car payment, I could more easily get myself to a part-time or full-time position not having to experience a winter with Marta or walking as my primary transportation.

My goal is $ 2,200.  I hope to use that money to buy a reliable car and use some for the down payment for car insurance.   My daughter will need the next size carseat soon, so in that budget, I'm leaving $100 for a seat for her.  

Getting to my children every other weekend means I am taking small steps in the right direction.

I am asking for help which is the hardest thing for me to do.  I am a very independent person.  My childhood created an atmosphere were if I wanted to become anything I had to do it myself, so please know this page is because God has taken every bit of my ego, my pride and replaced it with a raw emotion of powerlessness and complete rely on others.