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Miller Family Surrogacy/Adoption

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Wow... this has taken a lot for us to reach out for help, but here it goes...

I have been faced with infertility and have had surgery after surgery to try to save the hopes of being a mother some day. After more bad news at the age of 24 my doctor told me I had no choice but to have a complete hysterectomy. At the time I was sick, in pain, done with the surgeries that were a dead end, tired of being on medication and definitely didn't want anymore blood transfusions most importantly I was tired of putting my life on hold. I went in for an appointment because I wasn't feeling well... little did I know I'd be admitted and headed to surgery that day. No choice it was happening at the time I didn't care just wanted to get my life back. Now that I'm healthy, happy and have the most amazing marriage with a beautiful, smart, fun and lovable step daughter I've realized I am missing something... I'm missing the chance to have a child with my husband. A child we can call ours, a baby I can hold and not have to give back... basically the missing piece to our beautiful family!

Several months ago we began the adoption process. We were approached by our birth mom, at the time we were unsure... everything happened so fast! We prayed so hard about this and it was a Sunday morning we decided this is EXACTLY what we need. Our missing piece.... we sat down and talked to our daughter and the joy on her face when we told her we decided to move forward with the adoption instantly filled our hearts with so much joy! We made the call, met with our birth mom and within days we were at our attorneys office filling out paperwork... it was that very day that we wrote our sweet baby boys name for the first time. I can't even explain the emotions running through me on that drive home.

I quickly formed a strong bond with our birth mom.... to say I loved her and thought the absolute world of her was an understatement. I think I told her daily what a blessing she was to our family! As time went on and the busy weeks of preparation for our sweet Lil' man came and went we were finally ready.... as ready as we'd ever be. Now it was time to get our hospital bag ready and just sit back a await "the call"

Early Saturday morning May 2 my phone rang.... it was our birth mom... she told me "My water broke.... hurry up and get here... you're going to be a mommy today" I'm pretty sure my level of excitement scared her! We hung up and we rushed to the hospital. After several hours of waiting... finally at 3:10 pm I got to watch the most beautiful baby boy come into the world. Our sweet baby boy was finally here. The moment I'd longed for was here... I'd played this very moment out in my head so many times. It was by far so much better than I ever imagined. As I sent a picture of our sweet baby boy to my husband and daughter that were patiently waiting in the waiting room.... my heart... for the first time in my life finally felt complete.

As the days passed it was very emotional for both sides. Much harder than I ever expected! My heart was so happy but hurt so much at the same time for our birth mom. We had an amazing talk a few days after his birth... we sat there and cried together, laughed together and just held each other. She made me feel so secure of her decision! Honestly it was that moment that I felt like he was really ours.

The day had finally come and it was time to sign papers. We had discussed with our attorney how this would all go down. We showed up to the hospital that morning with the car seat installed and our hearts ready to explode... today was the day we finally became a family of 4... no longer a dream but a reality. As we entered the room I was not prepared to hear what I did... to say I was shocked, numb, sad.... is an understatement. We found out our birth mom wouldn't be signing those papers. After watching him come into this world, bonding with him and even worse... our daughter was in love with her little brother. We had to walk away from the hospital, an empty car seat and an empty heart.

I will never be able to make sense of this, there are no words or advice that could take this pain away that we feel. The reality of becoming a mother was so close... that is why I'm here sharing our story with you. As some might know the process of adoption is a financial burden to most but worth every penny. Unfortunately the thought of having to wait a year or two to save just isn't something I want to accept. We also have decided that adoption might not be an option for us, we haven't completely taken it off the table, but are a little hesitant about it. I honestly couldn't take this pain again... the pain of losing a child. That's why we are going with a surrogacy.... something that is more a guarantee to grow our family. I know you all care about us and support us to the end, if you can't donate we understand... we really do! I do ask that you share this.... asks others to share!

We love you all from the bottom of our hearts and appreciate you all in our journey of bringing baby Miller to us!

Lots of love,
Damon, Kaitlin & Isa Jo
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Donations 

  • Anonymous
    • $500 (Offline)
    • 9 yrs
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Organizer

Kaitlin Miller
Organizer
Independence, MO

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