LGBT parental rights
Donation protected
HELP A LESBIAN MOTHER ESTABLISH PARENTING RIGHTS
I find myself in a position where no parent wants to be – without legal rights to my three sons. And as a lesbian mother, I am in the precarious position of having to prove I am their parent.
Here’s the background:
• My ex-partner and I were together for 9 years.
• Two years into the relationship, we decided to have children and that my ex would bear them.
• We attended all pre- and post-natal visits together, incurred all costs together, and initially shared the parenting equally. Then, we sold the business I operated and I became the stay-at-home parent for two years.
• We moved from WI to MN with the plan for me to adopt the boys, but we split before that could happen.
My boys are currently 10, 7, and 7. Over the course of the 5 years since my ex and I have separated, I have paid monthly child support, yet because my partner and I could not legally marry at the time we chose to have children, I was not granted automatic rights with regard to my sons, have no say in their educational, extra-curricular, or medical decisions, and have no say in the parenting schedule. I have been unsuccessful in informal attempts to arrange a more balanced schedule, where neither parent goes a week without seeing the children. My suggestions of mediation have also been unsuccessful, and I am forced now to accept that court is the only option. In many ways this is a good problem – three boys have two parents who love them and want to spend time with them.
Yet, like any good parent, I need to stand up for what I believe to be in the best interests of my children. Specifically:
• The right to input in their medical, educational, and extra-curricular decisions.
• Assurance that, in the event of a parent's death or chronic incapacitation, the children would not have the added anguish of losing their other parent. This scenario, though unlikely, is a horrific prospect.
• Shared legal rights, including shared custody (as close to 50/50 as possible), and fair child support.
The amount I am trying to raise reflects the legal costs I am unable to cover myself. This estimate is based on multiple conversations with lawyers. Any amount raised above what is needed to pay for attorney and court costs will be donated to OutFront.org, an LGBT Minnesota non-profit.
I am not allowed to put up a pic showing me and my boys, so a very good friend of mine drew this for me. :)
I find myself in a position where no parent wants to be – without legal rights to my three sons. And as a lesbian mother, I am in the precarious position of having to prove I am their parent.
Here’s the background:
• My ex-partner and I were together for 9 years.
• Two years into the relationship, we decided to have children and that my ex would bear them.
• We attended all pre- and post-natal visits together, incurred all costs together, and initially shared the parenting equally. Then, we sold the business I operated and I became the stay-at-home parent for two years.
• We moved from WI to MN with the plan for me to adopt the boys, but we split before that could happen.
My boys are currently 10, 7, and 7. Over the course of the 5 years since my ex and I have separated, I have paid monthly child support, yet because my partner and I could not legally marry at the time we chose to have children, I was not granted automatic rights with regard to my sons, have no say in their educational, extra-curricular, or medical decisions, and have no say in the parenting schedule. I have been unsuccessful in informal attempts to arrange a more balanced schedule, where neither parent goes a week without seeing the children. My suggestions of mediation have also been unsuccessful, and I am forced now to accept that court is the only option. In many ways this is a good problem – three boys have two parents who love them and want to spend time with them.
Yet, like any good parent, I need to stand up for what I believe to be in the best interests of my children. Specifically:
• The right to input in their medical, educational, and extra-curricular decisions.
• Assurance that, in the event of a parent's death or chronic incapacitation, the children would not have the added anguish of losing their other parent. This scenario, though unlikely, is a horrific prospect.
• Shared legal rights, including shared custody (as close to 50/50 as possible), and fair child support.
The amount I am trying to raise reflects the legal costs I am unable to cover myself. This estimate is based on multiple conversations with lawyers. Any amount raised above what is needed to pay for attorney and court costs will be donated to OutFront.org, an LGBT Minnesota non-profit.
I am not allowed to put up a pic showing me and my boys, so a very good friend of mine drew this for me. :)
Organizer
Terri Bischoff
Organizer
Minneapolis, MN