Disabled New Mom (with Small Fiber Polynueropathy)
Donation protected
Deep breath.... Ok... My name is April, and I’m a 35 year old former Christian minister and teacher with several health challenges. Though I’ve struggled with illness all my life, my conditions worsened greatly in 2010, after experiencing several traumas (some of which were work related in the ministry). I’ve struggled these last 6-7 years since then, mostly feeling too ashamed to talk about my pain, and I’ve pushed through it as best I could, but I’ve reached a point when I’m not able to push through anymore, and I urgently need to ask for help.
My heart and my mission in this world has always been to make the world a better place by sharing a message of love and kindness with a passion for education and service especially for those most in need from high risk youth to international students to people with cognitive disabilities. Because of my dedication to this mission, even with my health issues, I’ve worked as a full time Christian minister, part time teacher and masters student always seeking to serve.
Unfortunately, my own health has been a constant burden. Though I’ve done everything I could to manage (including seeing world renowned specialists, getting medical and surgical intervention, seeing a fantastic therapist and spending hours and hours in prayer) I’ve reached the end of my strength. Though I have a B.A. and nearly finished an M.A. as well, because of my career choices to serve others with very minimal pay (most often living below poverty), I simply have no financial reserve to sustain me through my current health crisis. Doing without has never been a concern for me in the past, but now with my medical conditions as severe as they have become, I am deeply concerned about not having a stable place to live or income for my medical needs.
In brief, I have three conditions I suffer from daily:
1. A disabling nerve condition I’ve had since I was young, which has worsened greatly in recent years. Below, please see a link to a publication by my nueorlogist who researches this syndrome: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/131/4/e1091.full.pdf?download=true
2. A disabling version of Endometriosis that even after surgery causes me intense daily pain.
3. And finally, severe debilitating anxiety from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which I suffered in part as a result of traumas I experienced while working in full time Christian ministry.
Alone each of these conditions is very difficult to manage. With three debilitating conditions, I am sick to the point of being bed ridden about 30%-40% of the time, and those times are unpredictable. Even when I am not bedridden, I suffer near constant pain, nausea and fatigue that only allows me a few good hours a day on my infrequent good days. I have yet to find an employer who would hire me when I was honest about my health and scheduling needs.
Still, I believe God has a purpose for everything. I don't think God is a sadist making me (or anyone) suffer, but I do believe He has a wonderful ability to repurpose suffering, to remake it into something beautiful. Living with near constant pain has made me see the world differently, and it’s helped me to finally find my voice as a writer as well. In time, I hope and pray that I will be able to give at least the gift of my story to the world, that I may still be able to help people even if only through the story of my pain. This is the thought that keeps me going.
Not long ago, I was on my way into my doctor’s office, struggling with pain and feeling quite down as I noticed a frail elderly man shuffling towards the main entrance just in front of me. As he approached the door, he turned shakily back to me and asked, “Could you please open the door for me?” The door was heavy for me as well and painful for me to open, but in that moment my strength was greater than his, so I opened it. It was the simplest gesture, yet he seemed so deeply thankful, and months later the moment continues to mean so much to me as well. He was in need and so relieved to find help. I was feeling useless seconds before, but was overcome to the point of tears at this reminder that even in my suffering, I could still love and serve others.
I do not yet know what my future gift may be to the world, but I suspect it may be to open doors for people who are suffering. Maybe I am called to write and to open eyes to the healing power of compassion for those suffering. This is my hope for the future, but today, at least, I am the one asking for help to open a door that is too heavy for me.
If you feel led to give financially to my Go Fund Me campaign, your gift will go towards my basic living expenses to help me stay stable and remain housed through this challenging time as I assess my options (including applying for government aid, continuing to pursue medical help, and looking for work that allows for disability accommodations). I’m not sure yet what is next, but I am actively pursuing as many paths as I can including trying to find work that will accommodate my disabilities and at the same time doing the extensive work of an SSDI disability application.
I will keep you updated as to how I am doing, and also, as I work towards writing more, I would love to share that with you as well! Thank you so much for reading!!
My heart and my mission in this world has always been to make the world a better place by sharing a message of love and kindness with a passion for education and service especially for those most in need from high risk youth to international students to people with cognitive disabilities. Because of my dedication to this mission, even with my health issues, I’ve worked as a full time Christian minister, part time teacher and masters student always seeking to serve.
Unfortunately, my own health has been a constant burden. Though I’ve done everything I could to manage (including seeing world renowned specialists, getting medical and surgical intervention, seeing a fantastic therapist and spending hours and hours in prayer) I’ve reached the end of my strength. Though I have a B.A. and nearly finished an M.A. as well, because of my career choices to serve others with very minimal pay (most often living below poverty), I simply have no financial reserve to sustain me through my current health crisis. Doing without has never been a concern for me in the past, but now with my medical conditions as severe as they have become, I am deeply concerned about not having a stable place to live or income for my medical needs.
In brief, I have three conditions I suffer from daily:
1. A disabling nerve condition I’ve had since I was young, which has worsened greatly in recent years. Below, please see a link to a publication by my nueorlogist who researches this syndrome: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/131/4/e1091.full.pdf?download=true
2. A disabling version of Endometriosis that even after surgery causes me intense daily pain.
3. And finally, severe debilitating anxiety from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which I suffered in part as a result of traumas I experienced while working in full time Christian ministry.
Alone each of these conditions is very difficult to manage. With three debilitating conditions, I am sick to the point of being bed ridden about 30%-40% of the time, and those times are unpredictable. Even when I am not bedridden, I suffer near constant pain, nausea and fatigue that only allows me a few good hours a day on my infrequent good days. I have yet to find an employer who would hire me when I was honest about my health and scheduling needs.
Still, I believe God has a purpose for everything. I don't think God is a sadist making me (or anyone) suffer, but I do believe He has a wonderful ability to repurpose suffering, to remake it into something beautiful. Living with near constant pain has made me see the world differently, and it’s helped me to finally find my voice as a writer as well. In time, I hope and pray that I will be able to give at least the gift of my story to the world, that I may still be able to help people even if only through the story of my pain. This is the thought that keeps me going.
Not long ago, I was on my way into my doctor’s office, struggling with pain and feeling quite down as I noticed a frail elderly man shuffling towards the main entrance just in front of me. As he approached the door, he turned shakily back to me and asked, “Could you please open the door for me?” The door was heavy for me as well and painful for me to open, but in that moment my strength was greater than his, so I opened it. It was the simplest gesture, yet he seemed so deeply thankful, and months later the moment continues to mean so much to me as well. He was in need and so relieved to find help. I was feeling useless seconds before, but was overcome to the point of tears at this reminder that even in my suffering, I could still love and serve others.
I do not yet know what my future gift may be to the world, but I suspect it may be to open doors for people who are suffering. Maybe I am called to write and to open eyes to the healing power of compassion for those suffering. This is my hope for the future, but today, at least, I am the one asking for help to open a door that is too heavy for me.
If you feel led to give financially to my Go Fund Me campaign, your gift will go towards my basic living expenses to help me stay stable and remain housed through this challenging time as I assess my options (including applying for government aid, continuing to pursue medical help, and looking for work that allows for disability accommodations). I’m not sure yet what is next, but I am actively pursuing as many paths as I can including trying to find work that will accommodate my disabilities and at the same time doing the extensive work of an SSDI disability application.
I will keep you updated as to how I am doing, and also, as I work towards writing more, I would love to share that with you as well! Thank you so much for reading!!
Organizer
April Alario
Organizer
Danvers, MA
