How to Find the Good

How to find the good

On December 14, 2012, a man in New York City walked into a coffee shop, and after placing his order, asked the barista to charge him an extra $100 for the line of people behind him. My co-worker was in that line. “This act of kindness happened the same day as the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. When I spoke with my mother later, I shared both the news of the tragedy in Sandy Hook, and the act of kindness my coworker had witnessed — She urged me to be inspired by the latter.”

“There will always be tragedies and horrible things that inevitably happen in our lives and in the world,” she told me, “but there will always be more good out there. If you look for it.”

My mother died a few weeks later, and that conversation became my life raft. I knew that if I wanted to see the good again, I had to go out and find it.

Find the need

Because of my mother’s illness, I spent a lot of time in the hospital waiting room. I dreaded the hours spent in such a depressing place; there needed to be more hope in the room. For the person who would have to sit there next, and all those after them, I decided I wanted to provide a beautiful book filled with uplifting stories.

Ask for help

The idea was to visit every US state, collect stories of kindness, and publish them in a book that would be donated to hospitals across the country. I started a GoFundMe called “More Good Road Trip,” and was able to raise almost $30,000 for gas money. Watching friends and strangers support the mission before the journey even began made me realize the importance and power of asking for help if I wanted to accomplish something so big. From there, I asked people across the country for help with housing on the trip (154 people, to be exact). I asked local media for help getting the word out. I asked for help almost every day of my three-year journey. And while it felt humbling at times, I never would have been able to write this book if I hadn’t had the courage to ask for help.

Make it happen

I had a choice when my mother died. I could let the grief consume me, or I could use her words to make purpose of my pain. I did as she told me and chose to look for the good. And I found it as I traveled those 43,000 miles.

It was in Chicago, where two sisters each donated a kidney to a stranger in honor of their father who died of kidney failure. It was in Massachusetts, where a little boy who survived cancer went on to dress up like Captain America and deliver hundreds of toys to the “kids who were still stuck at the hospital.” It was in Rhode Island, where a bank teller who was having a bad day was gifted a bag of M&M’s that she never forgot.

Share and inspire

Sometimes it feels like an act of kindness has to be a large gesture, but most times it can be something small. This is why I keep telling my stories, to remind people of the power of one small act. There is a man out there who bought some coffee for strangers over a decade ago, and he doesn’t even know that he changed the entire trajectory of my life. For years now I have gone to high schools, rotary clubs, churches, and other community gatherings to spread More Good as I put my book together. And now, I have the honor to do it here, the first place I looked for help. GoFundMe got me started with my very first and last tanks of gas over those three years; I’m so excited to share more of my stories on the platform where it all began.