Dear Friends,

I have been diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer. I had an obstruction in my lower intestine that revealed it. I had surgery last week at Inova Fairfax to relieve the obstruction while also removing some of the cancer growth. I will begin chemotherapy treatment very soon.

I know this is a lot to take in. I want you to know that I feel strong, ready, and capable of meeting this challenge. My medical team feels confident that I will respond well to treatment for this particular type of cancer (many people do).

We do have insurance. What we need is for Ryan to be able to take unpaid personal leave from work as needed (which he can do without losing his job) in order to take care of me, Milo, and our household throughout my treatment. It is also my wish to be able to seek complementary therapies and supplements so I can heal in a holistic manner.

There is also a meal train if you are local and so inclined. This will be a great help to Ryan.

<a href="https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/4qv1z5" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener"><a href="https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/4qv1z5" target="_blank" class="" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/4qv1z5</a></a>

My family unit is strong and I feel so very loved. Ryan’s presence and loving care is what is making this bearable for me. Milo and Eli are keeping things from getting too serious. Our parents are close by. I am doing my best to take things as they come and stay present with what is happening in my body moment to moment. While I am strong, I am also sometimes scared. I am dealing with periodic dark projections about my future and I am learning in real time about how to guide myself back to the center, where I can cope with what is happening in my body, which is manageable. I am thankful for all my teachers present and past, and to my Hakomi training to give me a solid base to really practice living in equanimity. I am grateful for this opportunity to really do it. As such, I am being very careful about what information I take in. To that end, I ask that despite your loving intentions, that you please not send me articles, stories, or remedies about ovarian cancer unless I ask. If you feel it is very important, you can send it to Ryan for review. For my mental health, and to ensure that I connect intuitively and resonantly with each choice before me, I need to be in as much control of what information I receive as possible.

I will use this space to make periodic updates as I am able. Phone calls can be a little tough at the moment but I love getting occasional love notes and funny stuff from you all by text, messenger, or snail mail. Know that I gather my courage from your love.

P.S. If you see Ryan, rub his shoulders.

P.P.S.S. To my knitters out there: I could do with some soft acrylic warm hats if the spirit moves you!

Help Heather Self Sail Through Cancer Treatment

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