I wanna Wrestle Marty Jannetty

2017 is right around the corner, and I was feeling great, That's until facebook pulled up a memory from 2013 labeled "my wrestling wishlist for 2014".  Going through the list I smiled as I checked off everyone on there and I said to myself "wait was that sabu or the crypt keeper LOL" (Jk nothing wrong with a bit of humor during the holidays) (dude was mangled though) (basically the cryptkeeper)... as I'm about to applaud myself for accomplishing the goals for 2014 years later, I notice something is wrong....

every name is checked off besides one former tag team partner of Al Snow, Marty Jannetty. I sudden panic, hands clammy, heart racing, and loss of full erection..
Why wasn't this booked? How did I manipulate and politic with promoters to book every match but this one?
 So here's the deal, my mom is about to kick me out of my house because I'm not paying the bills and she wants me to get a "real job" and I wanna prove that wrestling will pay off.
To do so I've booked a big backyard BBQ and backyard wrestling show (sponsored by WOMBAT) at my house for July 2017, and wanna book my dream match VS Marty Jannetty infront of my friends and family to prove after 10 years I'm making my dreams come true..

I'm asking for $5000 for
Marty Jannetty
His Flight (no idea where he is living)
Jack Daniels and other gimmicks to keep him happy..
Very Best of RATT album..
All the money I owe mom..
Thank you, Please make my dreams come true, you will all be invited in to JANELAPALOOZA 3 JULY 2017