In Loving Memory of Adetutu Adex

Hi all, 

My name is Esther Adex, and I'm an 18-year student. I have a 2-year-old brother named Andre; we both recently lost our mother on 13th November 2023 to synovial sarcoma cancer. I have set up this page to help raise money for the funeral and awareness for cancer. 

My mother's story starts around last year in July. My mum started to complain her leg was swelling and hurting her. So when I went to check her leg, I saw a lump, and I immediately took her to hospital. The doctor basically dismissed my mum, prescribed her painkillers to help with the pain, and told her to elevate her leg. Ever since then, my mum has been in constant pain, and the lump got bigger and worse. I  continuously took my mum to the GP and hospitals, and they continued to dismiss her until around April 2023, when the hospital misdiagnosed my mum and told me that my mum had hematoma. They said that the lump was a blood clot, and they offered to drain out the blood clot. However, my mother was sceptical about this diagnosis as the lump on her leg felt hard.

In June 2023, the tumour on my mum's leg continued to get worse. It got to the point that it was oozing out puss. So I decided to take my mum to another hospital to get a second opinion; at this hospital, they did an x-ray and admitted my mum into the hospital until further notice until they found out the cause of the lump. Whilst she was in hospital, I was looking after my 2-year-old brother alone. So, the new hospital decided to transfer my mum to a specialist hospital so she could get a biopsy of the lump. When the specialist hospital did the biopsy, they said the results would come in two weeks.

However, on 10th July 2023 my mum's health got worse during that two-week waiting period and had to be admitted back to the hospital. So, whilst my mum was being admitted to the hospital, the specialist hospital called us to let us know the results of the biopsy. They informed us on the phone that it was synovial sarcoma cancer, it was at stage 4, and that the CT scan showed that the Cancer had spread to the lungs. They needed to do surgery as soon as possible to remove the tumour. This was done two days after they have given us the results. And she was transferred to the specialist hospital for this surgery. So my mum was in the specialist hospital for a month to recover.

However, I was trying to prolong her stay in the hospital as where we were staying was not suitable for her condition, as it was on the 8th floor and the building did not have a lift that goes to our flat; our flat was damp and moulded. So my family friend and I tried to get the council to move our family to a place more suitable for my mum; however, we could not do this in time, so she ended up returning to where we are living.

In September 2023, I started my first year at Northampton University, so I moved to my student accommodation. I was reassured by social workers that they would care for my mum and help her look after my brother whilst i was away. However, this promise was broken as the carers did not turn up at all like promised, as they were scared that my mum's ex-partner (my brother's dad) would turn up, as he physically abused my mum in the past. This was happening for two months whilst I was at university, and during this time, her Cancer was getting worse. On Wednesday, 8th November, my mum called me and informed me that she wasn't feeling well, so I returned to London on Friday, 10th November 2023, to see what was happening.

When I got back to London I noticed that my mum had lost weight, she had a bad cough and was complaining her back was hurting. So, over the weekend, her condition worsened as she was having shortness of breath. So, on Sunday, 12th November 2023, I called the ambulance, and she was admitted to ICU. When she was admitted to the hospital, they did a chest x-ray and told me they assumed there was fluid in her lungs and that the respiratory team would confirm this the next day. So the next day, 13th November 2023, my family friend and I went to the hospital to find out the results from the respiratory team, and it was then revealed to us that there was no fluid in her lungs. However, it was the cancer deposit causing her pain in her chest, and they told us that she would only have three weeks to live, as the Cancer has spread everywhere.

Receiving this news was so heartbreaking, and I couldn't believe what the doctor was saying. So when it was revealed to my mum she only had three weeks to live, she started giving my family friend and I instructions on how she wanted to pass away and her wishes for my brother and I for the future. So, I left the hospital to feed my 2-year-old brother, and I got a call from the hospital saying that my mum's condition had worsened and she wouldn't make it through the night. So I immediately rushed to the hospital with my family friend to be with my mum in her last moments whilst we prayed for her during her final moments; however, my mum passed away at 11:56pm on 13th November 2023. She passed away at the young age of 43.

My mum was a strong, courageous single mother who tried to do everything she could to provide for my brother and I. Additionally, she fought a difficult battle with a rare type of Cancer that was very aggressive. Her death was a big shock, as I thought I had time to prepare; however, things progressed really fast. Now she is gone, I am the primary carer for my brother, and I am setting up this page for people to help me with the costs of her funeral as well as money to provide the living expenses for myself and my two-year-old brother. Any little donation will help. 

Thank you