Support Abel on his Final Journey

Abel Gonzalez, my (Kathy Bowersock) husband of 26 years, went to heaven to be with his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, on June 24th, 2024. For all but three months of those 26 years, Abel had ongoing medical difficulties that starting with ruptured brain aneurysms and brain injury three months after we married, heart and circulatory problems, and chronic conditions that affected his ability to stay hydrated which required constant attention. Abe has had many hospitalizations in the last two years requiring extensive care as he was no longer able to do many things for himself. Then in the past few weeks he got another infection and was just too weak to fight it off. I will be having a funeral service for Abe here in Phoenix at our home church, Desert Mission Anglican Church. And as Abe requested, I will be taking his ashes for burial in his hometown of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and having a family service there. I’m requesting assistance to cover Abe’s final expenses which include funeral and travel expenses and help with outstanding medical bills.

Abel Gonzalez was an easy-going guy with a silly sense of humor, a quick wit, and a quirky smile. Abe loved to help people laugh and often found ways to help people laugh at themselves even in difficult situations. This was fortunate since he struggled with serious medical issues for more than 25 years. During those times of multitudes of doctor’s appointments and hospital stays, one of his greatest joys was to crack a good joke or make some off-the-wall comment that no one was expecting and get a good guffaw out of the medical staff that were helping him through his trauma.

Abe always thought this photo was very funny!

When we married in 1998, I found Abe easy to talk to and I enjoyed his funny jokes and laid-back attitude toward life (Well, most of the time!).

Little did I know the difficult journey that was ahead. Three months into our marriage, Abel suffered two serious ruptured brain aneurysms and nearly died. He was in the hospital for 3 long months. Doctors warned that with the amount of brain injury he had incurred he would most likely live out the rest of his life in a nursing home. Abel’s mother, Sara, kept telling me “God is in control!”

We knew many people were praying for Abe and he did finally get well enough to go home from the hospital. But there had been extensive brain injury and the road ahead was a long one. Abel did, however, thrive in the Barrow brain injury rehab programs at St. Joseph’s Hospital.

After about three years of hard work in rehab and then other back to work programs, Abel proudly was hired for a job as an Accounting Mail Clerk at St. Joes. Abe loved working there and was able to continue his work there for more than ten years.

When Abel had to leave this job because of more health issues, he continued to volunteer five days a week at a variety of places including, thrift stores, libraries, churches, and food banks. At each of these jobs he still loved to tell a good story or tease someone, all to bring a smile and laughter.

Abe loved to get a great deal, finding sales and clipping coupons and getting me to take him grocery shopping so he could show off his receipts at work and brag about how much money he saved! And this helped to fund his love of going to movies, restaurants, and community theatre – and letting me come along! We had some excellent adventures doing this and found joy in these simple pleasures.

But time took a toll on Abe’s body and his brain. He had many, many medical issues that increased over the years and he was in and out of the hospital dozens and dozens of times, often for long periods. There were many things he could no longer do for himself and he got to the point he needed someone with him 24 hours a day to help with feeding, bathing, and moving him. I so appreciate and give thanks to my son, Jonathan, for stepping up and becoming Abe's caregiver in ways I could not. Jonathan was a huge help and gave Abel great comfort in his last days - and was, and is, a great support to me in this process.

Finally, as Abel grew weaker in the past couple of months, I had to make the decision to ask for hospice care at home for Abe. I struggled with this decision because I didn’t want to give up on him. But he had recently told me in a lucid moment that he didn’t want to go back to the hospital anymore. Abe’s doctor told me that in her opinion he had made the end-of-life decision for himself at that moment.

I honored his wishes and although it was very difficult, I did not take Abel to the hospital. Jonathan helped care for Abe much of the time during this time when Abe was so weak he couldn't stand or sit on his own - caring for all of his needs.

During these past weeks Abe often asked me “Can we go home now? I’m so tired.” The end of our love story is not what we expected. But, in the midst of all of Abe’s struggles, I have tried to honor our love, including Abe’s wishes for his health, every day of our 26 years of marriage by taking good care of him, being his friend, his nurse, his drill sergeant (when needed), and his wife.

Knowing time was short, I spent time that night before going to bed talking with Abe about our life together. I reminded him of the good times we had experienced. And I assured him he could let go whenever he was ready. So, during that night he quietly left while I slept. Something, maybe it was Abe, or his angel, woke me at 12:09 a.m. and I saw that he was gone. I miss him greatly - but I am grateful he finally got to go to his heavenly home where he is no longer tired.

Abel’s body has been donated to a medical lab and his cremated remains will be returned to me. He was always so grateful for all of the doctors and nurses and medical staff and procedures that kept him going. It gives me a lot of joy to know that the losses Abe experienced during all those years of medical challenges might eventually help others.

In the months ahead, Abe and I will take our final trip together. He requested that he be buried in Pennsylvania where he grew up and where his parents are buried. I will honor his request and take him home.

Thank you for your interest and concern during this trying time. Your texts and messages have been a source of comfort to me. Whether or not you are able to assist financially, I always appreciate your prayers, support, and kind words. I praise God that Abe is at home with Jesus and free of pain and confusion. And probably making the angels laugh! – Kathy Bowersock

Your contribution can help with all of these things:

Funeral and Burial Expenses: I plan to honor Abe's request and give him the burial and grave marker he desired in his hometown of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania in Nisky Hill Cemetery where his parents are. I will have a memorial service here in Phoenix at our church, Desert Mission Anglican Church, and and one with Abel’s family in Pennsylvania.

Travel Expenses to Pennsylvania: In my process of honoring Abe's burial wishes, I, and my son, Jonathan, will need to travel to Pennsylvania. There are two places along the way that Abel always wanted to go. Before covid, I was trying to plan a road trip for him. He talked about how Billy Graham had an impact in his life and how he wanted to go to the Billy Graham Memorial Library. He also wanted to visit the life-size replica of Noah’s Ark. Then covid hit. Abel’s health began to decline and this trip was no longer possible. I would love to make this trip a pilgrimage to honor him.

Medical Expenses: Long term illness garners a lot of expense, even when you have health insurance. Although I have worked hard to keep up with these expenses there are still outstanding costs that must be met.