Father Seeking Equal Rights to Kids

For those of you that know me you probably know how much I dislike asking for help in any way. But now it has come down to the last minute unfortunately and when it comes to my children I will do everything I possibly can. I am in a legal battle with the mother of my children who is intent on taking the kids away from me simply because she cannot stand to be without them. It is very sad to see what she is putting the kids through. My daughter only wants me there in her life on an consistent basis and I strive daily to be there and see them every chance I get. Unfortuantely I have been met with nothing but resistance from their mother.

She kept them from me on Halloween, Thanksgiving, My Birthday, Christmas, My Daughters Birthday as well as New Years. I have yet to be able to give my children their Christmas presents and my mother stilll has not seen me god my 4.5 month old son or even seen me get to play with him a single time. My mother has only seen him for a total of about 2 hours since the day he was born due to her resistance and will only allow them in our lives once it is court ordered. It has taken a while to get a court date and I have been doing everything I can to get the money together for a lawyer. I have spent hundreds of dollars just in consultation fees alone only to hear that I need to come up with $2000-$3000 to actually retain the lawyer. I've gone to legal aid clinics and spoken with many free lawyer services over the phone as well as calling over 200 different lawyers to try and get one of them to work with me but its always the same result. They only want money and not to help me. Yet, for the mother of my children she had a lawyer offer to help her for free within 24 hours of me filing the suit affecting parent child relationship so that we can settle this legally. It seems to be everyone out there is willing to help the mom and not the father unfortunately. I am very hesitant to tackle this on my own and I have tried to get the money together myself but it's been difficult trying to keep my home so that my children have a proper place to stay when they are with me.

I have been selling all kinds of my personal belongings but it just hasn't been enough. I have some money set aside for this next months rent and am trying to avoid losing my home to retain a lawyer and get equal rights to these children. I don't want to take them from her, all I want is to be an equal part of their lives so that they have a mother and father who they know both love them and are always there for them. I know it's a lot to ask for assistance but I have no one else to go to. My family is not in a situation where they are able to help me and I am just running out of time. Our court date is coming up soon and I have already requested more time to find a lawyer to help me with no luck.

I asking for anything at all. Imagine not getting to spend the Holidays with your kids, not getting to see their smiling faces on Christmas morning or being there for your only sons first Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. Imagine not being allowed to even have my daughter over to my house for a birthday dinner. It's the hardest thing that I have even had to go through and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone no matter what the situation was. My children deserve better than the situation they are in and I will fight for years to come if I have to just to make sure they know I am there for them.