Make Me Look Less Terroristy

Ok, so too many people want me to get a hair cut, because they are buzz kills that likely have both dispassionate sex and think driving 2 miles under the speedlimit is risky.  Since there are some haters out there, I'm saying if you want my hair cut, fork out the cash!  Highest dollar amount gets to name the style, even if you make me shave your initials into my head.   The money raised will go to getting me a haircut, buy me smokes, and video games if there's enough.  But whoever comes up with the best damn insult for my current looks, as voted on by FB likes, gets 1/3 of the collected money.  Why did I put $100 as the minimum?  Because I know my friends are a bunch of shady motherfuckers that would make me get something ridiculous, so they at least need to pony up the cash.  There are a few restrictions.  I will not shave anything overtly racist into my head, because that's not funny and my classmates might stab me.  And I should be able to cover up anything offensive/funny with a hat around the kiddies so I'm not a complete asshole.  I will give this until July/August time frame so I can be back in NC and have a witness watch me get my hair cut and take pics for everyone to ridicule.