Lisa's Journey

"One Step At A Time"

It’s a terrifying thing to hear, “Your spine can not support your body weight”. I believe that was my rock bottom. It wasn’t when I had my first back surgery because of a herniated disk, it wasn’t the years of being addicted to food or the years of crying and tormenting myself about my weight or hating my life because I couldn’t do anything I actually wanted to do. I was 26 and going in for emergency spinal surgery because I was too heavy for my back to support my weight after my first surgery. I don’t know what it truly was that gave me the will power and passion to keep going, fear of my health, my life, fear of the pain I endured, or if I came to my cross road and it was just my time that I found my strength to do it. I was almost 27 and morbidly obese. I mean you name it, smoker, drinker, food addict, pre diabetic, high cholesterol, high blood-pressure, fatty liver etc. If it wasn’t my back it was going to be something else. I was just going through the motions of life and I was not happy. Since then I realized I was not living, I was just existing. Well I have put my blood sweat and tears and fought to get to where I am now and I am ready to really start living. Im ready for this chapter to close and unfortunately I need help to do so.
I still have my goals, and my struggles that continue to evolve, but I have changed my life - completely. I have lost 165 lbs and started living. Truly living. It is still a struggle, but I will never give up on how I feel now, emotionally and physically, and the things that I can do that were never possible because of my size and weight. Never in my life would I have thought I would enjoy hiking, Softball, laser tag, fit in a chair, fit in an air plane seat, fit on a roller coaster or love working out, especially in a gym in front of a group of people! To even consider the fact that I am a personal trainer now blows my mind… like… “WHAT?” Some days I cant even comprehend it.
Throughout my journey, rehabbing my back, changing my lifestyle, learning about nutrition, learning about my body and what works for me, learning how to work out, learning different things that I actually enjoy doing, you come across a lot of feelings. Feelings that you don’t anticipate, some happy, some sad, some you don’t even understand. I just repeatedly told myself and still tell myself “One step at a time.” I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and kept going. I asked the question I didn’t know and asked for help when I needed it. I became a sponge and soaked up every ounce of knowledge I could get and I will continue to do that. I believe I have gone on this journey for a reason. I want to pay it forward and help other. I believe that is what I am meant to do now. I would not be where I am at, with out help from people who were knowledgeable. That is why I became a personal trainer, So I could help others, motivate others, inspire others to follow their dreams of getting healthy because it is a freedom that is just unimaginable.
I have set myself up on a path to stay healthy and have been provided with the tools I need to help others get healthy and to help them start living a healthy life. However my journey is not quite over yet. I never ask for help from people unless I really need it, and my mind body and soul needs it. Im done fighting, I need help. My body fights daily to get back to 340 lbs. It feels comfortable there. The 40 lbs of fat cells and extra skin that I am carrying around wants to expand and does so very easily. Every day I look in the mirror and I don't see the body I have fought and fight for with every ounce of my soul. I see a body that is disfigured. I feel the body I have under my “body suit” I wear and I deserve to see it that body I feel. I am in no way saying that I am not proud of what I have done, but I am uncomfortable. This effects me daily in ways people can not even imagine. It effects me medically, mentally, I have to buy special clothing, it effects the way I work out and has even effected relationships I have been in, among a variety of other things. I am not here to feel sorry or sob about this because I am here to look forward. Take one more step, forward. I set out on this path to get healthy, be healthy, live healthy and then inspire and help other be healthy and that is exactly what I will do. This is just my next step to do so and to maintain at a healthy weight for the rest of my life. I know this will be a long process. I am in the process of interviewing surgeons now. Due to the Amount of weight I have lost to live functionally and healthy I will need a full body lift. I am willing to earn any donation given, For example doing a push up, flight of stairs, mile per $, obviously not at once, lol. If anyone has any ideas please let me know. All donations will go to my body lift surgery and recovery. I appreciate everything and anything donated and or any friendly and encouraging comments. I know you don’t often see a request like this and I appreciate your time in reading and considering this. Thank you and have a wonderful day.
Don’t forget to smile!

Lisa