Help Stop The Destruction
Updated 6:45pm August 29th:
We are finally able to see the light of freedom! Everything else, except this evil element of life called money, is in place! We couldn't be more excited to put our shoes on and walk out of this apartment, UP & OUT once and for all! We have been approved for a home, and have jobs waiting for us. We have less than 24 hours to come up with $1,300 (deposit and insurance in order to sign the lease), then $1,500 to move in September 2nd!!! Please read my story below, and the Updates too! If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask! Thank You!:)
My 17 year old son and I are in need of moving from the Grand Rapids, MI area to Carol Stream, IL. As of August 12th I am finally free from a decade long abusive relationship. The last 2 1/2 years we were married, having a combined total of about 3 years of things being "good". If you have ever been in an abusive relationship, or have studied domestic abuse, you understand what that means. The majority of the happy memories are tainted with the pain of how badly those times end, or reality surfacing of what he was really doing behind my back. I'll explain more later...
Today my son and I learned we can finally be free from this cycle that has prevented safety, security, and success! We were left bare and dry, but have done everything we can to survive while trying to establish means to disappear. We need to move to Carol Stream, IL because this is where my son needs to finish his last year of High School, which actually started Monday, August 22nd. If I can't get us there, I will end up losing custody of my son. Then, due to developing severe anxiety and depression from living the extremely destructive life he had with me being in and out of abuse in every single way, and then being suddenly taken by his estranged birth father into a completely unknown life and moved around state to state for the next 5 years, he will end up in the hospital. Again, IF I can't make this happen. His dad is giving me custody back since I am finally free from my destructive past, and as long as he goes back to Carol Stream with me. His Dad moved to Portland, OR in the beginning of this Summer, and my son will have to go to him there, IF WE don't make this move happen. It took me 2 1/2 years to come out of the deepest, darkest depression of my life when my son was first taken from me. After all that has happend since, it is pretty much needless to say that I will most likely not be able to survive losing him again.
My employment here ended July 28th as we were all set to move that following Sunday. I found a rental through a private landlord with monthly obligations that were within my budget. However, due to my now ex-husband abandoning me and our home on April 22, 2016, and my job here not providing enough income to even support daily living expenses, I was not able to save the money needed to move. A good friend agreed to loan me the money needed for all of the aspects of the move, (truck, rent, deposit, etc.). I have a job waiting for me there, and will make enough money to afford my responsibilities. It's just getting there. So anyway, the day we were set to move my friend messaged me that her phone was stolen and the thief used her pay app thing to go on a shopping spree, so her accounts are all frozen until they catch the criminals and settle the case; among other family matters that happened to her within hours of our move, the course of our lives changed completely, coming to a tragic, immediate halt. We have been stuck in the apartment that once was my "safe house" through the YWCA, but after I took my now ex-husband back, he put the lease in his name. Everything is in his name: apartment, utilities, car (but he did sign the title on one of his "good" days a couple weeks ago, I just need to get it registered once we are in Illinois), insurance, etc. I am doing everything in my power to move us OUT from under the control my ex-abuser has over me (in every way), and back UP to where I belong in life. My son and I have a chance to restore and rebuild. Starting this GoFundMe page is my last attempt to do whatever it takes to save both of us, AND begin my journey of helping others who have had hope taken from them through all/any of the many forms of abuse. I cannot get on any kind of government assistance due to the new custody agreement. I cannot get a job here, as I need to get to my new job there ASAP, and there are no options for earning immediate money, for just a week or two, through an employer. I've gone to local food pantries, although I've learned that you are allowed 3 days worth of food every 30 days...
(Side Note: That rule needs to change! It makes no sense! And people wonder why the poor are starving!?!)
...and generous friends have brought me food in between. I've sold as many of our belongings as possible, providing barely enough money to live off of and take a few steps needed towards the direction of our goal. My home church can't/won't help. I have no family willing to help, or that is a part of our lives anymore, (A sad reality to staying too long in an abusive relationship. I actually feel extremely lucky to have any friends at all that have stayed through me taking him back and losing him so many times over the years).
If you would like any more information, please do not hesitate to ask! Please be sure to read the Updates here too!
Thank you so much for your consideration! And even if you are not led to donate, I ask you to please Share my story! Survivors of domestic abuse need to know they are not alone, and there are people brave enough to help them. As soon as I reach the top of this mountain I will be devoting my life to helping those that feel they may not have a voice or way that will free them from the COUNTLESS facets of abuse.