Help me with post-surgery med bills

Please excuse how long winded this is, but I need to tell my story to explain why I am asking for this much money.  

Since the age of 12 (when my menstrual cycle started) my body has experienced excruciating and debilitating pain.  When I experienced my first period it was very uncomfortable.  Then I did not have it again for six months.  When six months was up my menstrual started up again with a vengeance and I was taken home from Summer School as I was screaming in pain while my Grandmother (rest her soul) tried to ease the pain with a hot water bottle.  The pain was so horrible and can only be described as burning, stabbing, and throbbing cramping pain that did not let up.  The pain caused me to vomit.  As I got older the pain became worse.  At the age of 16, my mother decided it was time for me to get checked by a GYN.  Needless to say, I was very scared.  Long story short I was diagnosed with Endometriosis and was given my first prescription of birth control pills to ease the pain that I experienced.  For a while, the birth control did an OK job despite the fact that I still felt a great amount of pain.  This went on for many years.  In my 20's the pain was so bad that I would break into sweats from it, lose sleep, and spend my nights up either crying, on the toilet, or both.  In 2002 I had my first Laparoscopic Surgery at Jamaica Hospital in Queens, NY.  They scraped a lot of scar tissue out of me and found two small cysts and a fibroid which they took a biopsy of.  However, the results were that they did not find any signs of endometriosis.  At this point I was confused, but they prescribed me Depo Provera and this was the first time I was pain-free for about two years.  Unfortunately, I had to get off of the Depo Provera due to the side effects and started using another form of birth control.  That did not do much of a good job and the pain started up again.  Eventually, the pelvic pain became so bad that in 2008 I had another Laporascopic surgery at Forest Hills Hospital in Queens.  They, too, scraped a bunch of tissue out of me, found some cysts and a fibroid and took biopsies, but also stated that they found no signs of endometriosis.  At this point I was pre scribed the NUVA Ring which is a form of birth control.  This sent me to the emergency room because it made the blood during my menstrual so thin that I was bleeding out very fast while the pain just became worse.  The ER doctor checked me and found nothing wrong, but I was taken off that birth control.  At the age of 33, I was told by my PCP to stop taking birth control because I had been on it for so long that it was actually dangerous for me due to the estrogen levels and cancer that runs in my family.  So for 7 years after that, I have lived and suffered from excruciating pain that does not just come during my time of the month.  The pain is so bad that I have named it "The Purge" because of how debilitating it is.  It has caused me to take off so many days from work due to the fact that I cannot even stand up out of bed.  I cannot stand up straight as I am hunched over and I cannot even eat or help my husband who has Primary Progressive MS and needs help moving around.  Within these past 7 years, I have tried to get a hysterectomy, but I either run into doctors who won't give me one because "I am too young and may want children someday".  Just so you all know, I don't want children.  I'm better off with cats and dogs.  Or whatever health insurance I had at the time would not authorize the surgery.  Recently I had a very invasive MRI done by NYU Langone.  This MRI was specific to finding Endometriosis in the uterus.  Nothing was found but a small gland type of cyst.  If I don't have Endometriosis what is causing this horrible debilitating pain?  I found a GYN who was willing to do the surgery after a very painful pap smear.   It was not anything the doctor did. The Pap smear should never have so much as I have not experienced that kind of discomfort before.  This concerned my GYN and he told me that it was medically necessary for an abdominal hysterectomy because of the pain I have been in and the pain I was in during the pap smear.  My files were sent to my insurance, Fidelis Care, along with a peer to peer phone call informing the doctors at Fidelis who authorize the surgeries that this was, indeed, medically necessary.  This did not matter to Fidelis Care.  They did not authorize my surgery.  I appealed this decision three times and three times they denied me.  Last week I was in so much pain that I did not sleep, and was screaming at the top of my lungs in the bathroom while my husband was in the bedroom helpless due to his own illness.  I had to call out again and I am thankful for the amazing employer I have who has been more than sympathetic to my needs.  However, my boss also needs me at the office as do my clients as I am a Mental Health Counselor with a Limited Permit and am currently being supervised by my boss.  Out of desperation, I called my GYN for the CPT code for an abdominal hysterectomy and then called Flushing Hospital so that I can find out how much this surgery will cost out of pocket.  This would include admitting, inpatient stay, paying the anesthesiologist, as well as the surgeon, and for any extra surgical procedures as they will also be removing my cervix and fallopian tubes and only leaving my ovaries.  I was practically in tears as I explained my situation to the woman I spoke with over the phone because of the pain I was in and the constant rejection from Fidelis Care.  The woman on the phone (her name is kept private) informed me that she had the same issue I had where she could not even get out of her own car because of the pain she was in.  She then informed me that Fidelis Care is funded by Catholic Charities which does not support anything having to do with Family Planning and a Hysterectomy is considered a "Family Planning" type procedure.  What upset me the most about this fact is that rather than Fidelis Care informing me, they allowed me to appeal the denial for the surgery three times knowing full well that they would never authorize it.  This is disgusting and has prolonged my suffering.  I am in the process of signing up for another health insurance in the hopes of getting this surgery as the pain has affected not only my work life but my marriage, and my everyday life as well.  I have experienced depression because I can't even enjoy myself the way I want to due to the pain.  The pain is exhausting and I have tried anti-inflammatories including prescription Ibuprofen, Cataflam, Midol, and now its Voltaren which doesn't really do much at all.  I refuse to go on any opiates as I do not want to risk addiction and I did not become NARCAN certified to become addicted to prescription painkillers.  So I am desperate.  I know that if I don't have a uterus, a cervix, and fallopian tubes I won't have the Purge anymore.  I won't have the pain and I can finally live my life to the fullest.

With all the Gratitude in the world,
Ami
#MakeMeAHysterSister