Kate's Medical Fund

Hi,

My name is Kate. I am 33 years old and live in Colorado Springs. I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression in 2009 and had been taking medications for that up until January of 2016. I had aches and pains all the while, but doctors told me that depression can cause that too. I suspected Fibromyalgia because it runs in the family.

About two years ago in 2014, I started having severe stomach pains. I didn't know what was wrong. I went to see doctor after doctor. I had an EGD done and then a Colonoscopy. From 2014 to 2016 I have had 6 ER visits with no answer except that I was not immediately dying and was released with pain meds.

In 2015, I left a job that was making me physically ill to work at. I had severe aches and pains and the depression and anxiety was at an all time high and unmanageable. I would go into work and end up leaving within two hours because I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt. The tension from the stresss was causing every muscle to hurt as well.

Leaving that job worked temporarily, but I had to pay bills, and I soon found another job within the same area of profession. The stress followed. I ended up leaving two more jobs before remaining unemployed to focus on healing.

I did finally see a chiropractor this year, in 2016. Much of my severe pain was caused by pinched nerves in my back. Why are the nerves pinched so severely? The chiropractor thought I had a crushed vertebrae or had a compression fracture that had healed by itself. That's how close together my bones were. After a few more internal medicine doctor visits, I learned I have Fibromyalgia.

Unfortunately, the doctor did not want to doctor that day and would have told me I was a unicorn if that would have gotten me to leave his office. In light of his attitude, I am seeking a more professional opinion and diagnosis. This is not only because of the Fibromyalgia symptoms I have, but also because I have symptoms of Lupus.

I am a little fearful of the specialist I will be seeing for this. I will be seeing a rheumatologist, but I have to travel to Denver for these appointments because every rheumatologist in Colorado Springs declined to treat me. This will be more costs in gas money and wear and tear on my vehicle. I have yet to check to make sure this doctor is within my insurance network.

I had thought I found a good doctor after the one who agreed I have Fibromyalgia. Yesterday, he told me that he believes Fibromyalgia is a disease of the head. He thinks that we are more sensitive to pain because of trauma experienced in life. He sat there and looked me in the eye and told me my pain is psychosomatic, and that I need to endure more and more pain through exercise, that I need to push myself hard, through unbearable pain, and after that he thinks it will cause whatever is wrong in my head to snap and stop feeling pain so easily.

It was at that moment, that I gave up. I will not find a doctor who understands this disease.

The ongoing stress of managing my health with and without a job, while asking my boyfriend to carry more than his fair share, is beginning to pile up and show. I have lost many friends because of the anxiety, depression, PTSD, and fibromyalgia.

I have tried every avenue to find work. I've looked for a graphic design job that I qualify for. I don't. I need to finish my degree. I've looked at part time jobs. They won't hire me because of my education. They think I will leave as soon as my degree is done. I have looked at Uber and Lyft. I can't do that because I need repairs on my vehicle to qualify to work for them. I've been selling everything that I can part with on ebay to pay bills. I'm running out of items to sell and will soon have to part with some of my most treasured finds. I will cry when that day comes. I have constantly been trying to sell my arts and crafts. I have even figured out the arduous skill of getting my listings in the first page of Etsy search results. No sales. I've even thought of faking my death to make the bills go away, but I'm not that smart. Alas, I am not Rosamund Pike in Gone Girl.

I am in the process of seeking social security disability. I have found a lawyer who has taken my case. I'm told that the process can take 5 years without a lawyer. I have no idea how long it will take with a lawyer.

I can't continue living like this. Bills keep cropping up. We just put our cat to sleep after investing thousands trying to save him. My dog needs a $900 surgery soon to remove a lump which could be malignant. The vet doesn't think it is, but it has change drastically in the last 4 months. That's usually a bad sign.

I have to figure something else out, but while I'm figuring things out, my bills are putting a strain on my boyfriend, Chris, and my family who have supported me up until this point. I cannot continue to place a strain on Chris. I have lost too many friends and I cannot lose him too.

I want to ask you for help. There is no amount too large or too small. I just need to be able to breathe again.