Help Me Get out of My Abusive Home!
Donation protected
Hi, my name’s Kashi and I live with my abusive mother.
To start with, here’s my situation for why I’m choosing to leave. My mother is abusive, manipulative, and controls my life to the point that I cannot leave my house unless I’m with her, no matter what. I’m 20 years old and can’t get a job right now because of her refusal to let me out of the house. I have applied to the Dunkin Donuts across the street from where I live, and when I told my mom, her response was to cut my old bike tires to make sure I had no way of getting around other than on foot. I’d also like to note that where I live almost all the jobs currently hiring are about an hour’s walk away, and that while I have tried, my mother will not allow me to apply, let alone walk there.
My mother constantly picks fights over nothing and I’m confined to my room all day. If I move, my mom asks me what am I doing and accuses me of trying to sneak out my window almost on a daily basis. Everything's an argument and a struggle with her. I can’t even look out a window without her accusing me of something. My mom is 75 years old, and adopted my older brother and I years ago after our birth mother ran off. I’m a prisoner in my own home and because of her age, everyone thinks I’m the problem and the instigator, when in reality that’s simply not true.
My mother has called the cops on me for literally nothing. For example, going upstairs after an argument. Knowing my mother, I closed my bedroom door in hopes that she'd just let things cool off rather than have her walk in and yell at me more, with me having no where else to move to in the house. The bedroom doors in my house lock from the outside, so she could have easily opened it, but instead chose to call the cops, claiming I started the issue and that she didn’t want the doors in her house closed. Regardless of my efforts to tell them the truth of what happened, and the fact the doors locked from the outside, they gave me the warning. After that my mother told me that no one would ever believe anything I say because I’m a liar, and bragged how she could get me locked awake forever if I didn’t obey her.
The most recent incident was when I went to clean what I could of the house. My mom makes us do everything on her time, making it difficult. If she tells me to clean something and I go to clean, she'd then tell me to wait until she’s done watching tv. I would then go back to my room and sit back on my computer to do commissions, periodically asking her when could I start cleaning. Eventually it gets to the point where it's 3-5pm and she complains about how I’m not doing anything and tells me I’m useless as a human being.
Anyway, I go to vacuum my room at the very least, and it’s after my moms cleaning time and I was dead set on cleaning. I leave the vacuum in the hallway while plug it in, and I feel a tug on the cord. Less than a second later it’s down the stairs, broken with dust everywhere. My mom cut the cord to the vacuum and tossed it over the upstairs railing to downstairs. (The vacuum is small and light nothing like a big name brand) And when I asked her why she did that she started yelling at me, telling me I can’t throw her stuff around like that, and I’m going to pay for that. At this point I went downstairs to clean it up, completely ignoring my mother. 5 minutes later, the cops arrive, telling me this is my last warning and that the next call they get, I’m getting booked for bothering my poor old grandmother.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, and it keeps escalating, to the point that at times she has become physically violent. She’s even hit me in the head with a hot frying pan. Thank god I love wearing thick hoodies and hats inside the house.
She also tends to not feed me a lot. I’ve gone without food for almost a month before she let’s me eat ramen or a box of mac and cheese, and because I am 20, the law can’t do shit about it.
I’m an artist and I do take whatever commissions I can to make some money and try to save whatever I can to get out of here. My mom has a habit of dipping into my bank account and spending my hard earned money on items she doesn’t need at all. My mom doesn’t go anywhere other than to the store once a month, to get the rent money and some minor groceries I’m allergic to. She’ll make rare visits to her daughter’s place, but that’s about it. She’s frivolous with money, and her constant need to buy clothes from QVC on multiple payments is unnecessary, and only puts her more behind on her bills. She’ll spend money on real gold that she already has plenty of and eating out when she's got food in the house, then complains the next day that she can’t afford rent.
This is why I need to leave, to finally break free from the mental and physical abuse of my mother. Don’t let her age fool you, she’s stronger and crazier than people understand. She’ll give whatever you want as long as it’s what she wants for you, she wants to run my life and make me her compliant slave that does whatever she asks. Living with her has given me horrible anxiety and insomnia, to the point where I literally cannot sleep until almost 6am. My mother forces me out of bed at 8am, then she complains the house is a mess and it’s my fault. These rants usually last until she goes to watch tv at about noon, telling me to clean, while getting mad when I do. Then at about 5-7pm she’ll finally go downstairs to fix herself food, or make me fix it for her. She’ll go to bed around 2am, complaining about how it’s my fault we’re going to bed so late, and it gives me anxiety attacks, making me question my life in its entirety. Only to repeat the same thing again every single day.
I’ve gotta get out of here and to a better place to start working and see a doctor. I know I’m unhealthy and need to get medication to help with my eczema. From what I’ve been able to research, it’s incurable and sadly needs medication to keep under control, especially since stress and heat can make it flare up. I can’t see a doctor other than for my glasses, with my mother in the room with me, answering questions for me like I can’t talk or don’t have a brain. Furthermore, she has literally forced me to not bath, take a shower, or even brush my teeth. I have to ask to wash my hair, and my mom says “why do I need to, am I going somewhere? If I leave I’m not going to get back in, and have whoever it is take care of you from now on.” This is a common thing with her. My hair has suffered, my body has suffered, my mind has suffered.
This is an unfixable situation. My sanity, health, and needs come first. Getting out of here is the best option for me. With all that said, here’s what the money's for and will be used on. First off, I need a phone my mom can’t control. I’m already working on that, and am close to getting it. That alone is almost $500. I’ve never worked a tax paying job before, so I’m aware that all of my money will go to replacements for my birth certificate and possibly my social security card, if I’m not able to get it before I leave. Basic needs is what’s listed in the Google sheet , like a bed and mattress, as well as a desk, chair, and basic cooking utensils. These things are expensive and i will not be able to pay for them with my starting working wage. I’m also moving states, so obtaining my legal information will be more expensive than getting them in-state. I have no friends in my state that could help me get out, but I have friends in Ohio that’s more than willing to drive 6 hours to get me and what little belongings I have. I’ll be staying with one og them for a bit, and do more than my best to make sure I get an appointment soon. Whatever money that’s left over will go to paying rent and basic household cleaning items.
To protect the money I’ve saved for a new phone and moving out, this page is completely out of my mother’s reach. The key to successfully leaving under the radar is funding. As you can see, I’ve added things you can get for donating, from simple sketching doodles of whatever you want, to fully coloured illustrations with simple backgrounds.
I’m doing my best to manage my commissions and these rewards to finish them within a reasonable time. If you can’t donate, I understand and thank you very much for reading this far into my very peculiar situation. I know it’s overwhelming, but all I ask is that you share this with people you know. Maybe someone who sees it from your share will be able to donate if you can’t. I aslo have my and my Ko-Fi if you want to use that instead. We got some options for you guys.
Again, thank you for reading and hopefully sharing. I’ll keep this as up to date as possible, and will be posting rewards on my Instagram and other social media accounts. Again, thanks for taking the time to read!
To start with, here’s my situation for why I’m choosing to leave. My mother is abusive, manipulative, and controls my life to the point that I cannot leave my house unless I’m with her, no matter what. I’m 20 years old and can’t get a job right now because of her refusal to let me out of the house. I have applied to the Dunkin Donuts across the street from where I live, and when I told my mom, her response was to cut my old bike tires to make sure I had no way of getting around other than on foot. I’d also like to note that where I live almost all the jobs currently hiring are about an hour’s walk away, and that while I have tried, my mother will not allow me to apply, let alone walk there.
My mother constantly picks fights over nothing and I’m confined to my room all day. If I move, my mom asks me what am I doing and accuses me of trying to sneak out my window almost on a daily basis. Everything's an argument and a struggle with her. I can’t even look out a window without her accusing me of something. My mom is 75 years old, and adopted my older brother and I years ago after our birth mother ran off. I’m a prisoner in my own home and because of her age, everyone thinks I’m the problem and the instigator, when in reality that’s simply not true.
My mother has called the cops on me for literally nothing. For example, going upstairs after an argument. Knowing my mother, I closed my bedroom door in hopes that she'd just let things cool off rather than have her walk in and yell at me more, with me having no where else to move to in the house. The bedroom doors in my house lock from the outside, so she could have easily opened it, but instead chose to call the cops, claiming I started the issue and that she didn’t want the doors in her house closed. Regardless of my efforts to tell them the truth of what happened, and the fact the doors locked from the outside, they gave me the warning. After that my mother told me that no one would ever believe anything I say because I’m a liar, and bragged how she could get me locked awake forever if I didn’t obey her.
The most recent incident was when I went to clean what I could of the house. My mom makes us do everything on her time, making it difficult. If she tells me to clean something and I go to clean, she'd then tell me to wait until she’s done watching tv. I would then go back to my room and sit back on my computer to do commissions, periodically asking her when could I start cleaning. Eventually it gets to the point where it's 3-5pm and she complains about how I’m not doing anything and tells me I’m useless as a human being.
Anyway, I go to vacuum my room at the very least, and it’s after my moms cleaning time and I was dead set on cleaning. I leave the vacuum in the hallway while plug it in, and I feel a tug on the cord. Less than a second later it’s down the stairs, broken with dust everywhere. My mom cut the cord to the vacuum and tossed it over the upstairs railing to downstairs. (The vacuum is small and light nothing like a big name brand) And when I asked her why she did that she started yelling at me, telling me I can’t throw her stuff around like that, and I’m going to pay for that. At this point I went downstairs to clean it up, completely ignoring my mother. 5 minutes later, the cops arrive, telling me this is my last warning and that the next call they get, I’m getting booked for bothering my poor old grandmother.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, and it keeps escalating, to the point that at times she has become physically violent. She’s even hit me in the head with a hot frying pan. Thank god I love wearing thick hoodies and hats inside the house.
She also tends to not feed me a lot. I’ve gone without food for almost a month before she let’s me eat ramen or a box of mac and cheese, and because I am 20, the law can’t do shit about it.
I’m an artist and I do take whatever commissions I can to make some money and try to save whatever I can to get out of here. My mom has a habit of dipping into my bank account and spending my hard earned money on items she doesn’t need at all. My mom doesn’t go anywhere other than to the store once a month, to get the rent money and some minor groceries I’m allergic to. She’ll make rare visits to her daughter’s place, but that’s about it. She’s frivolous with money, and her constant need to buy clothes from QVC on multiple payments is unnecessary, and only puts her more behind on her bills. She’ll spend money on real gold that she already has plenty of and eating out when she's got food in the house, then complains the next day that she can’t afford rent.
This is why I need to leave, to finally break free from the mental and physical abuse of my mother. Don’t let her age fool you, she’s stronger and crazier than people understand. She’ll give whatever you want as long as it’s what she wants for you, she wants to run my life and make me her compliant slave that does whatever she asks. Living with her has given me horrible anxiety and insomnia, to the point where I literally cannot sleep until almost 6am. My mother forces me out of bed at 8am, then she complains the house is a mess and it’s my fault. These rants usually last until she goes to watch tv at about noon, telling me to clean, while getting mad when I do. Then at about 5-7pm she’ll finally go downstairs to fix herself food, or make me fix it for her. She’ll go to bed around 2am, complaining about how it’s my fault we’re going to bed so late, and it gives me anxiety attacks, making me question my life in its entirety. Only to repeat the same thing again every single day.
I’ve gotta get out of here and to a better place to start working and see a doctor. I know I’m unhealthy and need to get medication to help with my eczema. From what I’ve been able to research, it’s incurable and sadly needs medication to keep under control, especially since stress and heat can make it flare up. I can’t see a doctor other than for my glasses, with my mother in the room with me, answering questions for me like I can’t talk or don’t have a brain. Furthermore, she has literally forced me to not bath, take a shower, or even brush my teeth. I have to ask to wash my hair, and my mom says “why do I need to, am I going somewhere? If I leave I’m not going to get back in, and have whoever it is take care of you from now on.” This is a common thing with her. My hair has suffered, my body has suffered, my mind has suffered.
This is an unfixable situation. My sanity, health, and needs come first. Getting out of here is the best option for me. With all that said, here’s what the money's for and will be used on. First off, I need a phone my mom can’t control. I’m already working on that, and am close to getting it. That alone is almost $500. I’ve never worked a tax paying job before, so I’m aware that all of my money will go to replacements for my birth certificate and possibly my social security card, if I’m not able to get it before I leave. Basic needs is what’s listed in the Google sheet , like a bed and mattress, as well as a desk, chair, and basic cooking utensils. These things are expensive and i will not be able to pay for them with my starting working wage. I’m also moving states, so obtaining my legal information will be more expensive than getting them in-state. I have no friends in my state that could help me get out, but I have friends in Ohio that’s more than willing to drive 6 hours to get me and what little belongings I have. I’ll be staying with one og them for a bit, and do more than my best to make sure I get an appointment soon. Whatever money that’s left over will go to paying rent and basic household cleaning items.
To protect the money I’ve saved for a new phone and moving out, this page is completely out of my mother’s reach. The key to successfully leaving under the radar is funding. As you can see, I’ve added things you can get for donating, from simple sketching doodles of whatever you want, to fully coloured illustrations with simple backgrounds.
I’m doing my best to manage my commissions and these rewards to finish them within a reasonable time. If you can’t donate, I understand and thank you very much for reading this far into my very peculiar situation. I know it’s overwhelming, but all I ask is that you share this with people you know. Maybe someone who sees it from your share will be able to donate if you can’t. I aslo have my and my Ko-Fi if you want to use that instead. We got some options for you guys.
Again, thank you for reading and hopefully sharing. I’ll keep this as up to date as possible, and will be posting rewards on my Instagram and other social media accounts. Again, thanks for taking the time to read!
Organizer
Takashi Holt
Organizer
Downers Grove, IL