Becoming Myself - Transgender FTM Transition Fund
Donation protected
Hey, my name is Ari and I’m a transgender guy (FTM). I’m 37, which makes me feel like a dinosaur compared to all the young dudes starting their transition journey as teenagers. I wish I’d had the courage to do that... but I didn’t, so here I am.
I live in in the UK, and while I’m grateful for the NHS, the Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) waiting lists are a joke. I’ve been referred but I’m looking at an 18 month wait (at least) just for an initial appointment. I can’t wait that long. And I know that I’ve got to the age I am without transitioning, but I’m not kidding when I say that it’s almost killed me, many times. I was too scared to be honest about my gender identity. I’ve always felt like a man trapped in the prison of a female body - and an astute therapist figured that out ten years ago - but fear kept me from pursuing the possibility of transition, and my mental health just continued to suffer.
I’m a Christian, and have been part of a conservative evangelical church for almost a decade - and I’ve (stupidly) allowed the views of my church leaders to keep me from being open about my transgender identity. In the last year I completed an MA in Theology and Ministry that allowed me to explore other biblical interpretations of gender and sexuality and helped me to see that there is no shame in being who I am.
The last year has been a rollercoaster ride where I’ve stopped trying to hide my true self, and I came out as transgender to my close friends. The social transitioning - binding my chest, changing my name, and dressing as the man I am - has been easy. The medical transition is not so simple.
Like I said, waiting for the GIC appointment isn’t going to work for me. As I’ve gotten older, my gender dysphoria has become steadily worse, and now I’m ‘out’, delaying my transition seems excruciating. So I’m going to go private and use GenderGP to start the transition process. It’s not cheap, and I’ve not properly worked for over 15 years because of my crappy mental health. I also have fibromyalgia, which makes working even more difficult. I just want my life back, but it feels like all the odds are stacked against me. I do freelance writing but don’t earn enough to pay the bills and pay for my transition. Top surgery - having my breasts removed - is going to cost over £7500.
Anything that you can donate - no matter how small - I’ll be eternally grateful for. You’ll be helping me to reclaim my life and become the man I’ve always known I was inside.
Transitioning will give me the confidence to step boldly into my future, and I want to start advocating for younger guys struggling with their gender identity, and transgender Christians (like me) who are facing ostracism and condemnation from evangelical churches.
I live in in the UK, and while I’m grateful for the NHS, the Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) waiting lists are a joke. I’ve been referred but I’m looking at an 18 month wait (at least) just for an initial appointment. I can’t wait that long. And I know that I’ve got to the age I am without transitioning, but I’m not kidding when I say that it’s almost killed me, many times. I was too scared to be honest about my gender identity. I’ve always felt like a man trapped in the prison of a female body - and an astute therapist figured that out ten years ago - but fear kept me from pursuing the possibility of transition, and my mental health just continued to suffer.
I’m a Christian, and have been part of a conservative evangelical church for almost a decade - and I’ve (stupidly) allowed the views of my church leaders to keep me from being open about my transgender identity. In the last year I completed an MA in Theology and Ministry that allowed me to explore other biblical interpretations of gender and sexuality and helped me to see that there is no shame in being who I am.
The last year has been a rollercoaster ride where I’ve stopped trying to hide my true self, and I came out as transgender to my close friends. The social transitioning - binding my chest, changing my name, and dressing as the man I am - has been easy. The medical transition is not so simple.
Like I said, waiting for the GIC appointment isn’t going to work for me. As I’ve gotten older, my gender dysphoria has become steadily worse, and now I’m ‘out’, delaying my transition seems excruciating. So I’m going to go private and use GenderGP to start the transition process. It’s not cheap, and I’ve not properly worked for over 15 years because of my crappy mental health. I also have fibromyalgia, which makes working even more difficult. I just want my life back, but it feels like all the odds are stacked against me. I do freelance writing but don’t earn enough to pay the bills and pay for my transition. Top surgery - having my breasts removed - is going to cost over £7500.
Anything that you can donate - no matter how small - I’ll be eternally grateful for. You’ll be helping me to reclaim my life and become the man I’ve always known I was inside.
Transitioning will give me the confidence to step boldly into my future, and I want to start advocating for younger guys struggling with their gender identity, and transgender Christians (like me) who are facing ostracism and condemnation from evangelical churches.
Organizer
Ari Esmond
Organizer
England