Please Help Save My Life & My Smile
Donation protected
This is by far one of the hardest things I've ever felt the need to do, but I owe it to my children to swallow my pride and ask for help. I feel absolutely humiliated, so please, go easy on me. This isn't easy, and I am in tears as I type this.
My name is Brandy, and I am a 35 year old mother of 3 living in Ohio. I am happily married, and I have a great life, for the most part. I have a lot to be grateful for, and believe me, I am.
Unfortunately, for many years now, I haven't been able to truly live. And now, I find myself in a very scary situation that could literally mean the difference between life or death. I am facing something that could literally end up killing me, and I am very, very afraid.
Here's some back story to bring everyone up to date with how this need came about, and why it's so urgent for me.
First, let me say I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE MESS I AM IN.
A lot of it is beyond my control, but some is because of choices that I have made.
I CHOSE to act in a way that created an eating disorder. I didn't choose to allow it to take over my life and damage my body, but I DID choose to make the initial jump into that destructive behavior. For that, I take full responsibility.
I CHOSE to get married way too young and stayed far too long with a man who wasn't good to me. I was a child, and didn't have the ability to see that this was an AWFUL decision. For that, I take full responsibility.
I CHOSE to put my own needs on the backburner to make sure my kids had food in their bellies and a roof over their heads. While this is not a choice I regret, I realize that putting my own needs to the side allowed things to get progressively worse, landing me in the scary situation I'm in now. For that, I take full responsibility.
Still, allow me to explain how things got this bad.
I grew up the child of an addict and alcoholic. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother...But she didn't do the best she could as a parent. A lot of the time, my needs weren't met for one reason or another. This included receiving medical and dental care on a regular basis. I am not blaming my mom for this problem, but it does contribute to it.
In order to escape a very toxic home environment, I got married WAY too young to a man who ended up being very controlling and abusive. He basically told me I was ugly, worthless, and disgusting on a daily basis, which ultimately led to an eating disorder in hopes of finally being "good enough". During the years I was married to him, I also lacked in proper medical and dental care. You see, his father is a doctor, so if anyone got sick, he would just write a prescription, no visits needed.
In some ways, this was a good thing...Any sinus infections, strep, etc were treated quickly and very affordably. In other areas, such as dental care, it ended up being very bad...This wasn't his area of expertise, so any dental needs were put on the backburner.
Eventually I found the courage to leave my abusive relationship. At the time, I had a small child, and his needs came before my own. My mounting issues were getting worse, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had a child to care for, so I was never able to save up to take care of myself.
I remarried a wonderful man, and have been married to him for 8 years now. During that time, we've welcomed 2 more children to our family. We couldn't be happier, and I am so grateful every day that I'm finally in a healthy relationship and environment.
While I am happy with my marriage and my family, I'd be lying if I said we don't struggle. Like many American families, we live paycheck to paycheck, and often struggle to make ends meet.
We're also stuck in a very awful place as far as medical insurance goes...One I am sure a lot of folks can relate to. While we both work, we do not make enough to afford even the crappiest plans in the ACA. The premiums and deductibles would kill us, and we wouldn't be able to afford to put food on the table.
The kids are covered by Medicaid. Here in Ohio, getting coverage for children is easy. For adults? That's another story. We make JUST BARELY too much to qualify for any assistance for my husband or myself. That means that if anything happens to US, we're basically screwed.
Whew...Okay...Deep breath...Here's the embarrassing part for me...I get to explain what's wrong, and what I need to do to fix it.
I have very serious dental issues. This came from lack of dental care for many years, abuse and neglect, as well as several years of being Bulimic. I have beaten the Bulimia, thank God, but the damage has been done, and there's nothing I can do to take it back. Believe me, I wish I could.
I have had fillings come out, leaving my teeth very weak. I didn't have the money or insurance to cover root canals or crowns, so several teeth ended up literally just shattering. Of course once this happens, there's a domino effect, and the surrounding teeth also get weak and end up becoming damaged.
So now, I am left in a very bad place. I am in constant pain, and my teeth are just getting worse and worse. Most of my molars are either cracked or broken all the way to the gumline, with the root still exposed. The ones that aren't that severe are also showing signs of damage. It's just a matter of time before they end up like the others.
The damage in my molars has become so severe that now my front teeth are also showing signs of weakness. It hurts to eat. Sometimes it feels like certain teeth are starting to come loose. I try my best to "baby" them, but there's only so much I can do when there's so much damage already there.
Anyone who knows what a severe toothache feels like knows that the pain is absolutely excruciating. In my case, it's not one tooth causing the pain, it's several. My pain gets so severe that I cannot function. Just the other day, I was shaking uncontrollably, sobbing, and I even blacked out because it was simply too much to handle.
After that episode, my husband was very worried. He went back to the Medicaid office to try again to qualify, and we got rejected, once again.
A secondary, but far less important issue that relates to this is that it affects my confidence greatly. I am so embarrassed that I have become somewhat of a hermit. I am afraid to meet new people, and even afraid to be around extended family in fear of being judged. This has held me back in so many ways, both personally and professionally.
I have had to turn down a lot of opportunities out of the desire to remain "invisible".
One of my biggest dreams is to run for some kind of office. I am an Activist, and care very much about humanity and the awful state we're in right now. I have the knowledge and the passion, as well as the desire to do good and help create REAL CHANGE....But the fear of opening my mouth to speak trumps all of that. No pun intended. One of my biggest hopes is to help the cause for universal healthcare, so people like me and many others don't have to suffer. No one's life should be at risk because they don't have a few thousand dollars. Human life is worth so much more than that!
I am really starting to get scared. I know that poor dental health is life-threatening, and can cause some extremely serious health problems. People can and DO die from this. I am only 35, and I don't want to die prematurely simply because I don't have the money to fix this problem, once and for all. My overall health is already suffering, and I would love to be able to stop it before this ends up taking my life.
There are a lot of options out there, but I am seeking the most cost-effective one. While I'd love to get veneers, crowns, and single dental implants, that would be insanely expensive, and will never happen.
I have basically resigned myself to the fact that the damage is so severe that it's easier and cheaper to get dentures.
God, I hate even typing that...It's humiliating beyond belief...Seriously, just typing this fact makes me cry, and feel absolutely and completely humiliated.
But honestly, it's the most attainable and realistic solution. The last time I saw a dentist, which happened to be for an emergency extraction, he even said the same thing...I just wasn't ready to accept it, and continued to put it off. I didn't have the money, and I didn't want to accept that the damage was THAT severe. Well, I accept it now. With the amount of pain I am in on a daily basis, I have no choice.
I have priced out the cost of extractions, several of which will have to be surgical to remove teeth that have broken down and have exposed root left, as well as a set of decent, yet economical dentures. This work would be done at Affordable Dentures in Akron, OH.
Here is a breakdown of that cost:
Cost of extractions: $120x24= $2880
Cost of Dentures: $2275
Miscellaneous such as office visits, X-Rays: $1000
TOTAL: $6155
Plus a buffer for what GoFundMe takes. I am guessing 8K will be enough, total.
***Edit: I just found a coupon for 10% off the cost of extractions and dentures. I have changed the goal amount to reflect this.***
I am so ashamed to have to ask for help, but I don't know what else to do right now. We've tried every avenue we could...Medicaid...Trying to take out sufficient credit...All of this has failed.
If anyone has it in their heart to help, I would be so incredibly grateful. Not only could this SAVE my life, it would also allow me to finally be able to smile and function like a normal human being.
Thanks so much for reading, and for any help that is given. I am hoping for a miracle here, and while this is humiliating and very hard to do, I accept the fact that sometimes it's okay to ask for help....That alone is hard for me, because I never, ever ask for help. Ever.
***Edit: I just want to clear up a few things, since I know people can be cruel and like to assume. Especially when it comes to things like bad teeth.***
1.) NO, I am NOT an addict. I have never done hard drugs, and I never plan to. No "Meth Mouth" here.
2.) YES, I brush my teeth. Sadly, when it's a matter of fillings coming out and teeth shattering, no amount of brushing, rinsing, or flossing can prevent this. And once one tooth breaks, the ones surrounding it weaken, and end up eventually breaking, too. It's a domino effect, and isn't caused by lack of hygeine.
3.)Yes, we have tried contacting dental schools, free clinics, and have tried applying for Care Credit. The dental school is VERY hard to get into for treatment, and still costs more money than I have. Free clinics here are often restricted to residents of certain counties, or are limited to people under the age of 18 or 21. (I forget which.) We ARE trying to find options.
I do NOT like having to ask for help. It's humiliating. But I don't have any family that is offering to help me, and while I am trying to sell things, look for ways to earn money, etc., it's just not happening quickly enough, and I am honestly getting extremely worried and afraid.
My name is Brandy, and I am a 35 year old mother of 3 living in Ohio. I am happily married, and I have a great life, for the most part. I have a lot to be grateful for, and believe me, I am.
Unfortunately, for many years now, I haven't been able to truly live. And now, I find myself in a very scary situation that could literally mean the difference between life or death. I am facing something that could literally end up killing me, and I am very, very afraid.
Here's some back story to bring everyone up to date with how this need came about, and why it's so urgent for me.
First, let me say I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE MESS I AM IN.
A lot of it is beyond my control, but some is because of choices that I have made.
I CHOSE to act in a way that created an eating disorder. I didn't choose to allow it to take over my life and damage my body, but I DID choose to make the initial jump into that destructive behavior. For that, I take full responsibility.
I CHOSE to get married way too young and stayed far too long with a man who wasn't good to me. I was a child, and didn't have the ability to see that this was an AWFUL decision. For that, I take full responsibility.
I CHOSE to put my own needs on the backburner to make sure my kids had food in their bellies and a roof over their heads. While this is not a choice I regret, I realize that putting my own needs to the side allowed things to get progressively worse, landing me in the scary situation I'm in now. For that, I take full responsibility.
Still, allow me to explain how things got this bad.
I grew up the child of an addict and alcoholic. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother...But she didn't do the best she could as a parent. A lot of the time, my needs weren't met for one reason or another. This included receiving medical and dental care on a regular basis. I am not blaming my mom for this problem, but it does contribute to it.
In order to escape a very toxic home environment, I got married WAY too young to a man who ended up being very controlling and abusive. He basically told me I was ugly, worthless, and disgusting on a daily basis, which ultimately led to an eating disorder in hopes of finally being "good enough". During the years I was married to him, I also lacked in proper medical and dental care. You see, his father is a doctor, so if anyone got sick, he would just write a prescription, no visits needed.
In some ways, this was a good thing...Any sinus infections, strep, etc were treated quickly and very affordably. In other areas, such as dental care, it ended up being very bad...This wasn't his area of expertise, so any dental needs were put on the backburner.
Eventually I found the courage to leave my abusive relationship. At the time, I had a small child, and his needs came before my own. My mounting issues were getting worse, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I had a child to care for, so I was never able to save up to take care of myself.
I remarried a wonderful man, and have been married to him for 8 years now. During that time, we've welcomed 2 more children to our family. We couldn't be happier, and I am so grateful every day that I'm finally in a healthy relationship and environment.
While I am happy with my marriage and my family, I'd be lying if I said we don't struggle. Like many American families, we live paycheck to paycheck, and often struggle to make ends meet.
We're also stuck in a very awful place as far as medical insurance goes...One I am sure a lot of folks can relate to. While we both work, we do not make enough to afford even the crappiest plans in the ACA. The premiums and deductibles would kill us, and we wouldn't be able to afford to put food on the table.
The kids are covered by Medicaid. Here in Ohio, getting coverage for children is easy. For adults? That's another story. We make JUST BARELY too much to qualify for any assistance for my husband or myself. That means that if anything happens to US, we're basically screwed.
Whew...Okay...Deep breath...Here's the embarrassing part for me...I get to explain what's wrong, and what I need to do to fix it.
I have very serious dental issues. This came from lack of dental care for many years, abuse and neglect, as well as several years of being Bulimic. I have beaten the Bulimia, thank God, but the damage has been done, and there's nothing I can do to take it back. Believe me, I wish I could.
I have had fillings come out, leaving my teeth very weak. I didn't have the money or insurance to cover root canals or crowns, so several teeth ended up literally just shattering. Of course once this happens, there's a domino effect, and the surrounding teeth also get weak and end up becoming damaged.
So now, I am left in a very bad place. I am in constant pain, and my teeth are just getting worse and worse. Most of my molars are either cracked or broken all the way to the gumline, with the root still exposed. The ones that aren't that severe are also showing signs of damage. It's just a matter of time before they end up like the others.
The damage in my molars has become so severe that now my front teeth are also showing signs of weakness. It hurts to eat. Sometimes it feels like certain teeth are starting to come loose. I try my best to "baby" them, but there's only so much I can do when there's so much damage already there.
Anyone who knows what a severe toothache feels like knows that the pain is absolutely excruciating. In my case, it's not one tooth causing the pain, it's several. My pain gets so severe that I cannot function. Just the other day, I was shaking uncontrollably, sobbing, and I even blacked out because it was simply too much to handle.
After that episode, my husband was very worried. He went back to the Medicaid office to try again to qualify, and we got rejected, once again.
A secondary, but far less important issue that relates to this is that it affects my confidence greatly. I am so embarrassed that I have become somewhat of a hermit. I am afraid to meet new people, and even afraid to be around extended family in fear of being judged. This has held me back in so many ways, both personally and professionally.
I have had to turn down a lot of opportunities out of the desire to remain "invisible".
One of my biggest dreams is to run for some kind of office. I am an Activist, and care very much about humanity and the awful state we're in right now. I have the knowledge and the passion, as well as the desire to do good and help create REAL CHANGE....But the fear of opening my mouth to speak trumps all of that. No pun intended. One of my biggest hopes is to help the cause for universal healthcare, so people like me and many others don't have to suffer. No one's life should be at risk because they don't have a few thousand dollars. Human life is worth so much more than that!
I am really starting to get scared. I know that poor dental health is life-threatening, and can cause some extremely serious health problems. People can and DO die from this. I am only 35, and I don't want to die prematurely simply because I don't have the money to fix this problem, once and for all. My overall health is already suffering, and I would love to be able to stop it before this ends up taking my life.
There are a lot of options out there, but I am seeking the most cost-effective one. While I'd love to get veneers, crowns, and single dental implants, that would be insanely expensive, and will never happen.
I have basically resigned myself to the fact that the damage is so severe that it's easier and cheaper to get dentures.
God, I hate even typing that...It's humiliating beyond belief...Seriously, just typing this fact makes me cry, and feel absolutely and completely humiliated.
But honestly, it's the most attainable and realistic solution. The last time I saw a dentist, which happened to be for an emergency extraction, he even said the same thing...I just wasn't ready to accept it, and continued to put it off. I didn't have the money, and I didn't want to accept that the damage was THAT severe. Well, I accept it now. With the amount of pain I am in on a daily basis, I have no choice.
I have priced out the cost of extractions, several of which will have to be surgical to remove teeth that have broken down and have exposed root left, as well as a set of decent, yet economical dentures. This work would be done at Affordable Dentures in Akron, OH.
Here is a breakdown of that cost:
Cost of extractions: $120x24= $2880
Cost of Dentures: $2275
Miscellaneous such as office visits, X-Rays: $1000
TOTAL: $6155
Plus a buffer for what GoFundMe takes. I am guessing 8K will be enough, total.
***Edit: I just found a coupon for 10% off the cost of extractions and dentures. I have changed the goal amount to reflect this.***
I am so ashamed to have to ask for help, but I don't know what else to do right now. We've tried every avenue we could...Medicaid...Trying to take out sufficient credit...All of this has failed.
If anyone has it in their heart to help, I would be so incredibly grateful. Not only could this SAVE my life, it would also allow me to finally be able to smile and function like a normal human being.
Thanks so much for reading, and for any help that is given. I am hoping for a miracle here, and while this is humiliating and very hard to do, I accept the fact that sometimes it's okay to ask for help....That alone is hard for me, because I never, ever ask for help. Ever.
***Edit: I just want to clear up a few things, since I know people can be cruel and like to assume. Especially when it comes to things like bad teeth.***
1.) NO, I am NOT an addict. I have never done hard drugs, and I never plan to. No "Meth Mouth" here.
2.) YES, I brush my teeth. Sadly, when it's a matter of fillings coming out and teeth shattering, no amount of brushing, rinsing, or flossing can prevent this. And once one tooth breaks, the ones surrounding it weaken, and end up eventually breaking, too. It's a domino effect, and isn't caused by lack of hygeine.
3.)Yes, we have tried contacting dental schools, free clinics, and have tried applying for Care Credit. The dental school is VERY hard to get into for treatment, and still costs more money than I have. Free clinics here are often restricted to residents of certain counties, or are limited to people under the age of 18 or 21. (I forget which.) We ARE trying to find options.
I do NOT like having to ask for help. It's humiliating. But I don't have any family that is offering to help me, and while I am trying to sell things, look for ways to earn money, etc., it's just not happening quickly enough, and I am honestly getting extremely worried and afraid.
Organizer
Brandy Nelson
Organizer
Cuyahoga Falls, OH