17 years of dedication and all I got was anxiety

Last week I discovered my partner was with another woman. We've had a tough couple of months due to many factors. I hid a lot from others about what was happening. Dealing with their drug addiction and alcoholism was really tough. It has caused me to isolate quite a bit. I've lived with frequent onslaughts of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. The gas lighting was constant and it took a toll on my mental health. I stayed because I cared about this person and our family, plus the fact that leaving was going to get ugly. I tried everything and it didn't work. My partner has decided to stay with the other person and it has forced me and the kiddos to move out.

This person went behind our backs and filed for a restraining order by giving some exaggerated statements. We must wait and go through the court process which is very slow and there's not a lot of answers. I've been removed from the bank account, my cell phone was turned off, and they are no longer communicating with me. We are on our own. Most know I was a stay-at-home mom for years which has caused me to not have a footprint in the world these days. You need credit to rent an apartment and I have none. We've established no child support or monetary contract to help me and the children survive. My partner was the breadwinner and provided for us and now I will be finding a job while moving out and finding a new place. I left with $400 which I was accused of stealing. I've sold many items in an attempt to get cash. I do work part-time right now but it is not enough and I am searching for full-time work. It has been difficult to search and apply for jobs while moving out and trying to find a place to live.

I'm not sure exactly where we're going to live so that also makes finding the job a little harder. But I'm dedicated and a hard worker and will make it happen. However, as you know, paychecks take time to come to fruition. In the meantime, me and my children need help with basic necessities. Due to the restraining order I am not allowed to go into our home anymore. I asked a police officer if they could escort us into the home to get our basic belongings and they told me no. We must go through the court system. And due to it being a 3-day weekend we have to wait until Tuesday at the earliest to petition to enter our home. I am not allowed to speak to my ex to arrange something. This has divided our families and caused many to take sides. Throughout all this struggle I just hope and pray this person gets help before it's too late.

If you are able to help our family at all it is greatly appreciated and will be paid forward in the future. Our future is so bright and this is just a speed bump in the road. We're going to get over this and we're going to thrive.

Now you may hear rumors of things that have been said or done in the past. Please know my heart is good. I am a good person and I am capable of being hurt deeply. I have acted out of character in the past week due to insurmountable grief and stress. 17 years is a long time to be with someone. To then just have the cold shoulder shown to me. I am deeply hurt that people can move on so fast, but I'm going to hold my head high and be a good role model for my children going forward. Please talk to me if you have any questions before coming to final judgments. If you called yourself my friend, then you know I'm a good person with a good heart and great intentions most of the time. When people are backed into a corner they can act out in different ways and it's not who they are. It's what they're going through. No matter what I won't stop caring and hoping for the best. But right now I need to focus on myself and my children. I've taken steps to begin this independent life by starting my own bank account which has a zero balance . I've replaced my cell phone and I'm attempting to establish a credit footprint so we can get a place of our own. I also need to retain a lawyer as custody of my youngest is in question and I would like to be given the equity I am owed.

We are safe but I'm not disclosing where we are staying at this time. If you are able to help, it is greatly appreciated. If you know me, you know how hard it is for me to ask for help. I was raised by strong women and I'm raising strong women and part of being strong is knowing when you need help. I appreciate all that have stood in my corner and dried my eyes, or patted me on the back and said it's going to be all right. You all are my heroes and I can't thank you enough for saving me when I needed it the most. My glow up is in process and I'm about to become an amazing butterfly.

Reach out if you want to chat but also be patient with me as talking about it is not a priority. Thank you for your time.