Paint's Transition - SINGLE MASCETOMY

While I have had the support of multiple psychiatrists & therapists over the years, my particular needs for top surgery are as of yet not recognized under the general transgender umbrella of needs in order to receive government funding from our healthcare system for my top surgery.

While a double mastectomy for a top surgery WOULD BE funded, a single mastectomy is not. It is my desire that my body reflects my inner lived experience of my gender, one that is fluid and full of stories. Suggestions that I get the double mastectomy and replace the boob I wish to keep with implants or prosthetics is not viable, as these require me to remove a part of my body I want to keep. This is not an aesthetic choice (though I will look awesome, especially with the confidence that comes with being my embodied self) but rather about the feeling, relationship, and experience I have with my body.

My name is Paint & I am polygender (meaning, many genders) & it is my desire that my intimate experience of my body address my sensations of dysphoria while still maintaining the aspect of myself that I am comfortable with. As such, I am seeking a single mastectomy as has been my desire since 2014. It is frustrating to have reached the age of 30 without yet being able to achieve this, as I do not feel like I can live as my full embodied self until this is done.

I have explained my reasoning for how this procedure will impact my experience of my body and the world and found immediate acceptance & understanding when I finally made contact with a surgeon who is willing to do the procedure for me. I have been consulting with gender doctors since 2016 and have been on Testosterone for 2 years, as well I am on a waitlist now for a bottom surgery (clitoral release) that will be covered by the medical system in a few years.

However, it is important to me that I complete my top surgery prior to this so I can properly gauge my needs in that area, as my feelings of top dysphoria are more urgent & pressing with less likelihood of complications. My need for this top surgery is no less valid & important than anyone seeking gender-affirming surgeries.

While I realized this need independently, I have also since become aware of historical precedent of single breasted transgender individuals, whom, while I do not seek to embody their specific culture, I realize indicates that my desired state of being in my body is not that unusual.

From Transgender Warriors

by Leslie Feinberg:

One of the concerns or hesitations I have pondered is how I, a polygender person, fits into a very binary minded society. However it is not my interest to heed in appeasement of defunct social expectations in order to compromise my experience of the world and my desired state of being.

I share these further excerpts from Leslie Feinberg's work on the subject of passing, as people may resist my desire to live freely in the world because of societal pressures and expectations. However, I know I can not be fully happy in my body until my body reflects my inner lived experience and I am able to experience my body in a polygender way. How another may approach, describe & experience being polygender may be different, but this for me is what I need as I move forward with my transition. I have lived out, proud & loud to much protest ever since I have voiced my nonbinary transgender identity and I wish to both believe in and live in a world where some form of passing is not the main route of survival for transgender people.

Worst comes to worst, I'll hid the form of myself under layers of comfort in my day-to-day (it will likely be that way) but at the very least I will have the liberation of the intimate experience of my body being in alignment with my experience of my gender.

"I fight for my right to be whole"

I should not have to appease a binary version of gender, "pass as a man", or live as if I were a cis man in order to be allowed to embody my full experience of gender and address my gender dysphoria.

Statements of Support

"I have known Paint since 2016 and feel privileged to have seen his gender journey unfold. As a fellow non-binary person and social work student, I am writing this letter in the spirit of support and advocacy for him and other non-binary transgender people who seek unconventional affirming treatments. Having worked with 2SLGBTQ+ people in peer-to-peer contexts for over 10 years, I have seen how medicalized conceptions about transgender people and transgender affirming procedures reify cissexist and heteronormative views of gender, and needlessly gatekeep such treatments when sought by non-binary people. Such practices do not align with the ethical values of helping professionals; it is not a client-centered approach, it does harm, and does not respect the self-determination and autonomy of fully-consenting clients. Paint knows who he is and what he needs for his gender to be affirmed. He has always been consistent about his vision for his body as he seeks support to bring it more in alignment with his gender."

"I've been a good friend of Paints for almost 2 years and have watched his evolution into his desired gender and I wanted to write this to advocate for Paint to have the top surgery he desires. Paint has worked so hard in himself to grow into this amazing human you see today. His perseverance and genuine honesty to himself and those around him is admirable. While his request for top surgery is different than I'm sure most will request, Paint is different than most people you will meet. As a known member of the LGBTQ community I can confidently say that this surgery will not effect how the community views and treats Paint, in fact many people know his desires and fullheartedly support him. I know this is something he has thought about at length and is something he is very sure he needs and wants. Many members I know in the community have communicated to me how badly they hope he is able to get approval for his surgery, and how they wished they could give him more support through this journey. I hope you are able to see past this unique request and see Paint as the incredible unique and special human he is, now he just needs a body to fit this wonderful person he has evolved to become. He is confident and intelligent and capable of making this decision with thought and consideration."

The cost of surgery locally is $11,500 + GST which works out to $12,075 CDN. This would allow me to recover at home, this is a flat rate that would cover the cost of renting a surgical suite & payment to the surgical team. It is possible I could find an international surgeon to do the procedure for a lower price, however it would put me in an unfamiliar environment while healing & is not an ideal scenario while we are still under the siege of a global pandemic. It is an option I may still explore if I am unable to reach this funding goal (and would put the funds from this towards the procedure & travel expenses), however, I have faith in my community that we can achieve this and allow me to live as my liberated self. I am also looking into getting a custom binder made in the meantime to help reflect and communicate my vision of self to others to help brings us closer to understanding. Some fees are taken via the platform so I rounded up the goal to account for those. Anything above the goal amount will go towards my own survival as queer transgender disabled person, affirming actions for my body and identity or redistributed to others also seeking help with funding for trans-related procedures.

Thank you for your support if you can help. Your love is appreciated & has kept me strong in the face of much adversity. Please share this fundraiser as much as you can and advocate for the freedom and bodily autonomy I (and all people) deserve about how we exist in the world.