Help Sorrelle Get Medical Treatment Asap

I’m Sorrelle, a queer artist based in Berlin. It’s incredibly difficult for me to ask for money or help- but the circumstances are extremely severe again so It’s vital that I reach out in order to prevent any potential harm to myself that I want to prevent. At the moment, I can’t work because I don’t have a passport due to pandemic circumstances. The passport agency has stated that it will be several months before I can receive it due to employee shortages. My mental health has severely deteriorated during the pandemic and most of my livelihood and coping strategies have been lost due to social distancing measures. I am currently without health insurance due to outstanding bills, and it’s imperative that I pay it off so I can immediately seek out a therapist/psychiatrist. I have been fully financially supporting both my partner and I since January and I have no money left. Content warning/full disclosures: I suffer from borderline personality disorder which means I’m at high risk to attempt suicide. I actively self harm, I think about dying on a daily basis, and my emotional dysegulations make it incredibly difficult for others to help. I was raped in January and have not had the opportunity to seek treatment. My dreams exclusively consist of me dying or being raped- it’s hard to be awake or asleep. Many of my friends have experienced abuse or suicide attempts recently and I also have spent so much emotional energy in helping others when I have none for myself. Ultimately, I want to be treated but not being able to seek professional help because of the system enhances my anxiety. I want to be alive but there are countless moments my brain says otherwise. I know everyone is financially struggling but I really need help. Anything makes it closer to being able to pay off my health insurance so that I can get treatment ASAP.