help transguy with housing

this is a hard thing to do, seeing as i had a gofundme set up last year as well and that so many people then helped me out so much to be able to cover my living expenses when i was homeless and couch surfing / still trying to find a place back home in tennessee. a lot has happened since then (i guess it was october or september?) and luckily most of that stuff has been for the better, but im still kinda in a spot where i could use some help. 

in october of last year i used the last big chunk of my money to be able to leave my home state and start new in portland. i bought a one way ticket and shoved as much of my life as i could into three bags, with maybe a week or so to say all my goodbyes, and dipped out. it was a hard decision to make because of the obvious- rent and cost of living overall on the west coast is unreal compared to where im from. i didnt know a single person when i got here, or where anything was, or where i was, or how to go about rebuilding your life when all you did for almost 5 years before was try to destroy it, and on top of that i didnt even have a real game plan once i got here- just to try and find a job and work towards getting my own place while staying with my mom and her boyfriend.

id planned on being out of my moms apartment (a small, one bedroom with a decent enough sized living room with a corner that's mine for the time being lol) by march or april ideally, but financially thats not seeming to work out so far. i had a job for just shy of 3 months at the end of last year, but due to concerns with covid precautions being too lax i left pretty abruptly. i had immediately tried to look for another job, but didnt have any luck over the holiday season at all. between then and around christmas, i had stretched what money i had left from my last two paychecks before finding out i could draw unemployment again, but this time it's only 400/wk instead of 600. thankfully that's kept me on my feet in terms of my daily spending and the like- ive been biting off pieces of these weekly payments in attempt to save for a place, as well as trying to push art to sell and making stickers just for the pocket money at one point, but its hard to save up enough for a first months rent and deposit solely off of what i get, and all the scrimping and saving ive done between when i had a job and now still hasnt presented me with any opportunity to reach out and start to try and find and secure a place of my own. i also am funding my own hrt and groceries/food, eventually (hopefully!) some therapy, transit expenses, or anything else in between that gets thrown my way.

i recently considered sex work and/or onlyfans, but due to past and current trauma as well as dysphoria adjacent things surrounding that for me, personally im unable to turn to turn to another form of income that many seem have been able to find stability with. 

i didn't qualify for the last stimulus check and haven't seen/heard about outside of unemployment and most likely will have to go on a goose chase to track down any govt funding that could come my way, but my time living at my mom's is running out and with 3 people living here everyones pretty fed up with sharing space, as well as other details to the situation i am not immediately willing to share publicly (i am safe! do not fret), but as much as i am grateful being able to have this as a short term option, i do not feel as if i can progress without some help. as of recently since moving i have procured a stable and healthy support system of new friends and people here that have helped me reignite the will to do better again, for myself and for others, and id like to find a way to make that happen so that i think for once in a really long time i can feel as if i have whatever the spiritual sense of a "home" is, and not so much just another roof or midpoint. and from that home i can extend my hand to others, and so forth, but as of right now im in no way able to give aid in the ways i want to, learn and care for the people the way i want to, and its a lot to ask of other people in situations similar to or the same as me right now to do this, but even the smallest donations add up to hopefully eventually mean something very big and very important to me now. 

im asking for 2000 dollars to cushion my weekly payments to find a room for rent by the end of april or may at the latest. 2000 would hopefully at the least cover the first month and any deposits or fees, and whatever left over (if) will go to beginning to furnish my room, as i dont have anything left from my move from tennessee other than some clothes and misc belongings. i also would like to be back in a job by the end of march or beginning of april, so given that everything turns out expenses concerning things like that wont be as big of a deal 

i know i am not and have not been the most palatable person, or the smartest, nor wisest with my choices, i have been all of the ugliest parts of myself in many different combinations for so long that i have finally let it go with all the years of mistakes and abuse and loss, and im just ready to finally feel like i can exist without being in someone elses way or inconveniencing them and to make a place to fill with new life, new memories, and hopefully somewhere i can see myself being for a while to grow and change with me as well.

thank you