Save our Home

May 29, 2014 our lives changed forever… I woke up and went about my morning like it was any other day, kissed my husband goodbye as he left for work, spent a few quiet minutes alone watching the news and drinking a cup of coffee before my three boys woke up.  

I started feeling some discomfort in my abdomen.   Being 26 weeks pregnant and already having three boys I knew this was not a normal discomfort was and this was not it, this felt different.  I called my husband and we went to the hospital.  They brought me strait to triage where they could not find the baby’s heartbeat. The pain was excruciating at this point I passed out and stopped breathing.  They rushed me into an operating room to try to save my baby.  They did an emergency C-section and when they cut me open, there was no blood.  My baby had been without adequate blood and oxygen for an unknown amount of time.  He was not breathing.  A team of doctors worked to resuscitate him for 45 minutes.  He was alive critical but alive.  The doctors told my husband he would likely not survive.  We named him Xander Joel.   

They decided to open my abdomen up and when they did, 6 liters of blood spilled out of me.  The most incredible trauma surgeon in the universe discovered a giant ruptured splenic artery aneurysm.  They were transfusing blood at a rapid rate, but it was coming out faster than it was going in.  At this point I died (twice) and was brought back to life.  I spent 7 days in the Burn and Trauma ICU, had 2 surgeries, and followed by 7 more days on a post-operative floor in the hospital.  

While I was fighting for my life Xander was fighting for his.  He spent 195 days in the NICU, suffered a grade 3 and grade 4 intraventricular hemorrhages in his brain and had to go through three life threatening surgeries.  He was later diagnosed with Spastic Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy.  He cannot swallow; his motor function is that of a 5 month old baby, he requires constant attention and 24 hour medical care to maintain his airway to keep him alive.  We went three months at home alone taking care of our medically fragile child before our first private duty nurse started working with us.  We were zombies.  We did not sleep, eat, smile, or laugh.  Our family was suffering, our kids were suffering.   My husband was struggling to maintain his full time job; I was terminated from my job.  We were a family of 6, one of which is disabled, on one income.  We were exhausted, traumatized, pushed past our limits.  The bills kept coming in and we were falling further and further behind.  We were drowning.  We had very little savings and having a child with critical medical needs is very expensive.  My husband and I are very proud and independent people.  We didn’t want to ask for help.  

We are now in a situation where our house is in foreclosure and we are desperate.  I just started working part time again as a mental health therapist, my husband is still working hard to work 40 hours a week, and our nursing situation is unstable.  I have missed time at work and so has my husband because we do not have enough nursing support.  All we need to do is get caught up with our bills.  I know we can maintain it with both of our jobs now, but our debt is killing us.  We don’t have credit cards.  Our debt is from two hard working people who were too proud to ask for help.  Now we are in a serious situation and our home may be taken from us.  Please help us stay in our home and get back on our feet.  We are forever grateful.