Leap of Faith for Eclipse

Forgive me, this is a long plea. 

When I brought my girl Eclipse to the groomers for a shedding treatment, I didn’t expect it to lead to a death sentence. 

My family and I were moving into a new house, where the landlord is allergic to cats (he does all the maintenance), yet was allowing us to bring our baby girl as long as we kept up on cleaning up after her. We agreed to have her groomed often enough to keep the shedding at home low. When the groomer was done, she left notes saying that Eclipses coat was looking unhealthy which is usually a sign of health issues. Wasting no time, I got her into a local vet. 

I was working when the vet called. She explained to me that they could feel Eclipses belly was distended and so they did an ultrasound and could see fluid. They took a sample of the fluid and based off what they could see and the information we provided, they suspected she has FIP. My spouse and I were expecting to hear that she had a bladder infection or worst case diabetes... we never heard of “FIP”. The vet explained that it is a fatal cat disease with no treatment and that they recommend humane euthanasia. 

My happy, cuddly, feisty, sassy little girl. 7 and a half years young. She joined our family for my daughters third birthday, 5 and a half years ago. I couldn’t believe the vet wanted me to kill her. She who’s only troubles appeared to be a never ending thirst, lots of pees and a tad greasy coat with some dandruff. 

I searched for information on FIP. I found a couple  groups on Facebook that I applied to join. I wasn’t looking for a miracle cure, I put so much faith in medical professionals that I didn’t even consider there being a treatment. I was just looking for information and support while I came to terms with the fact that my baby girl is slowly dying. 

After I joined the groups, I had admin and other members reach out to me with information on treatment as well as give me encouragements. Due to so much uncertainty and the lack of funds, I lurked in the shadows for the most part, allowing hope to grow with each success post and to fall again with each unfortunate loss. 

I was urged to start a go fund me and had many people offer to contribute, to see my baby get help and I desperately wanted to take a leap of faith. Yet as I watched others go fund me posts fall extremely short of what they were asking (which wasn’t even half the cost of the treatment) and after seeing how many people are fighting for their babies, I couldn’t be another one asking for handouts. 

I thought to myself “My baby has lived a good life. She’s still young at only 7 and a half, but she’s been so love for the last 5 years. She’s tired.”

My family can’t afford the treatment and we’re not comfortable with putting her through injections and other discomforts, just to fall short and not be able to do a full treatment.

I posted nearly the same post, with my mind made up. I wasn’t going to seek treatment and was only seeking information on what to expect in order to avoid as much suffering for her as possible.  

This last Saturday, during her regular private shedding treatment, the groomer informed me that her coat is no longer being nourished by her body and could all be brushed out if wanted, because her body is preserving its energy to focus on vital organs. Her bathroom behaviours have taken a concerning turn and she seems very ashamed of it, so much so that she leads us to her mess so we can clean it. She still eats, more in fact, to try and replenish her energy to keep fighting. Her abdomen is very full of fluid. She’s lost a lot of her feline grace and can’t go up high without risking causing herself harm. 

I was ready to prepare for the end, or maybe I wasn’t. I posted publicly, seeking information all the while knowing I would have people try to sway me in favour of treatment. What I didn’t expect was the guilt I would feel in the face of everyone’s supportive encouragements. She’s the best girl and I just want her be comfortable and happy. I don’t know if I should try treatment or if I should be brave and end her suffering. I can see her getting worse and I just know it’s time to make a choice. Euthanasia or an expensive treatment with no guarantee. 

Due to the overwhelming amount of support and encouragement and the vast amount of tears shed today, I choose to try and raise money for treatment and will make the first investment towards her treatment. 

I’m terrified. I don’t want to prolong her suffering or cause her more in turn. 

I set the goal for $7500 with full intention to donate the remaining funds or treatment back to an organizer to connect other FIP Fighter families with getting help. 

If anyone can help, it will bring me one step closer to saving Eclipse.