Ray of sunshine

My sisters name is McKayla Ferguson. We are 10 months apart and have been inseparable since we were little. We were taken away from my birth parents when I was around five and my sister four. We where in and out of foster homes up until 8 and 9. We were then adopted by a couple and it didn't work out either. At this point we were separated and both of us in and out of foster and group homes. I was very lucky to have good families and good homes. But my sister not so much. Kayla got into to some pretty bad stuff. Recently she moved in with our birth mom and with in five days of being there my sister committed suicide. She called me and the fourth day and said Kenzie I miss u. She called me the 5th day after we had found out some stuff. She felt alone and like this was her only option. She was always scared that she wasn't loved. She told me goodbye, and that it wasn't my fault. My sister was life flighted, and I drove down from Orem to meet my sister who was in critical condition. In which point I had to make a choice to take her off life support. I laid and held her in my arms as she passed. On the outside I'm okay but on the inside I can feel my heart physically breaking. I miss her more then words could ever explain. I've raised mckayla as mine, she is my baby. Mckayla IS a fighter and always will be. She lighted up the life's of the people around her and made them feel safe. She cared about other people's happiness more then her own. I miss her so much...but I'm glad Heavenly Father is holding her in his arms. That she will not be judged for anything. We want to give her what she would have wanted, so any body who is willing to help would be very much appreciated.