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Single Moms Legal Fees
Donation protected
Hi. I'm really not good at telling my story...as I'm not one to ever let people see me struggling. But this is not just a story about me- it's about my 2yr old daughter too. I'm a single mom- from the very beginning it was made clear to me that I would be doing this on my own. I prepared myself mentally and financially to do the best I could, even before she was born. She arrived early and unexpectedly on Christmas Day- my little Christmas angel. The first year was a struggle being on maternity leave, but manageable...until her father wanted more. He was living 2 provinces away- but I welcomed him into her life as much as he wanted (which was on and off). Our first court appearance was in sept before she was 1yr. It was to become a guardian (which you need to go to court when you have never lived together or never married). I had no problem with this- and it was made clear Jordana would always have primary residency with myself. I found it difficult to pay for our lawyer and court, but managed with bank loans and credit cards. I returned back to work early, but found that I needed a new contract and that meant a change in pay...which turned out that it would be cutting my yearly wage drastically. I was determined to make it work. My mother moved from a province over- quit her job, and left my father and sisters behind to help me with child care. I had no problem affording her bills and car payments, it was a compromise to save on expensive childcare- which was hard to find one to accommodate my crazy full time work schedule. As the year went on her father did not come for a visit for over 7months. He came up with excuses that suited his needs first. During this time I would continue to try to get him and his family involved-but was told to keep it to a minimum. In the summer months he threatened to take me to court for parenting time...he also wanted a section 211 to be done to determine what the best interest in my daughter would be. To keep out of court I was forced to agree- but I demanded regular visits on a monthly basis from him. I also suggested seeing a parenting coordinator- so that the section 211 wasn't necessary (also has a price tag of $15,000 to be split equally between parents). He demanded overnights starting on her 2nd birthday (Christmas Day). I had wanted more consistent visits from him before overnights- but also wanted to keep the costs down...so I was forced to agree. I had always put my daughter first and was hoping her father would want what's best for her over his own wants. In his eyes, he wanted her more often and away from me...it's his opinion and I accepted his concerns. Over the next 4months, she would spend 4 days with 1 overnight with her father and his family. I would voice concerns about how she was after the visits- but it was always turned away. I kept encouraging the visits and always kept a positive environment for my daughter when talking about her father. I kept all my emotions and feelings to myself no matter what he would say or text me. He continued to use lawyers for any little thing he didn't like. We saw a parenting cordinator, as well as sat through 4 hrs of mediation...which he would not even consider a possibility to what he wanted. He warned me it would be a waste of my money-as he only wanted the section 211 anyways. As much as I told him I couldn't afford it, the more he pushed for it. I wasn't able to leave my struggles and stress inside, and it started to show at work. I was dealing with his negativity towards me during my shift and then when I got home...it was becoming too much for anyone. I eventually lost my job, but the bills and lawyers fees are increasing. I've been selling personal belongings, as well as any of my daughters baby items to be able to afford groceries and bills. Since I found out I was pregnant, I started a savings account for a trip to Disney... And was excited as she grew up and loved the princesses and Mickey Mouse. But during these past months it's being drained as well. Credit cards are maxed out, lawyer bills continue to rise as they help me diffuse the situations he is bringing up, and we are at a point where all of this is causing me to not be employed. But bills don't stop coming, for myself or for my mother that I still support... Which I'm about to lose because I can't afford to pay for her either. The section 211 is still being pressured by her father- and he had also informed me he is taking me to a 5 day trial after Christmas this upcoming year... It doesn't look like it's slowing down anytime soon. Plus he is taking me to court to force me to pay for the section 211... So this is where my story is at right now. I don't know if there is anyone that is willing or wanting to help- but this seems to be my last hope. My family has all helped as much as possible- but I really don't want to continue to have them support me as well as their own families. I have never had to ask for help with finances. Even put myself through college on my own. I'm at a point where groceries, bills, medical, and rent are a struggle... I've always done this on my own. I'm seeking help from the YWCA, as well as trying to get assistance for my daughter to continue in gymnastics and hopefully enroll in new sports that she loves. Currently I do not qualify because of my income last year...this seems to be the struggle with any kind of assistance I have been reaching out for. It's funny how often you can be rejected because of an income you struggled to survive with- but because it's legal fees, no one sees the amount costs that I have paid or have added up. All I'm asking for is help with my legal fees...I want to continue my battles for my daughters best interest. I have fees that have added up since last year, plus the ones that are about to be added to it. It's a lot. Anything extra I would put on the remainder of our debt. I'm not one that spends her money on herself- infact I don't even remember the last time I made a purchase for myself. This is all for my daughter. I pray for a positive outcome and want to continue to see the good in everyone.. I want my daughter to know that I only want the best for her and to never give up hope. Thanks to anyone that took the time to read this. That was a lot of courage it took for me to write this. And I appreciate the time you gave up for me. Even if no donations are made- I want to still thank you. :)From my daughter and me- ❤️
Organiser
Jamie Popadynetz
Organiser
Richmond, BC