Baby E's Security Fund
Donation protected
All I wanted was to have a happy little family. With a doggie too.
Drugs tore the dream apart before we ever got started. Blinded by “love” I didn’t see the “obvious” indicators. Blinded by my past “faith” I believed I could change someone/thing and make a bright future out of it anyway. Oh, how wrong I was.
I now have the most amazing child I could have ever asked for. She is my everything for the rest of my life. She has changed my life in ways I never knew possible, my outlook and even my core purpose. I will always respect her mother for this.
I’ve got a great job. I’m working 6 days a week out of necessity and cherish my mornings, evenings and all day Monday with Ellie. I have a good baby sitter that Ellie adores. I cover everything, but, can’t keep up with attorney fees.
Life should be / could be amazing right now! Brand new! Singularly oriented to Ellie’s happiness = my happiness.
All I have asked of her mother all this time is get treated and stay on a treatment to handle her long-term drug addiction. I wanted her to be part of Ellie’s life, I still do, but only the Sober Mom, not the other. I begged and will continue to beg her to get and stay on treatment - which starts with admitting it to oneself and others - but I will NOT put Ellie at risk knowing this is not occurring.
I am faced with the stark reality of a costly and uncertain custody battle and am worrying myself half to death about, “What if I don’t succeed.” I try not to let my stress show when I am with Ellie.
With temporary court orders thanks to my Attorney and despite a lot of crazy back and forth with false claims and “threats” from the opposing attorney, they suggested we attempt Mediation.
With such financial pressure it is easy to see how some fathers would just give in to the situation no matter the risks involved. The answer is, “Just go 50/50 split on custody! Its the obvious solution financially at this point.”
I guess the opposing attorney is rather familiar with this and hoping I’ll give in to the pressure. Their “proposal” for a parenting plan (Washington’s States “Custody” laws call it this) came in and they want me to “signing off” on, “No substance abuse” on “either parents” part.
In other words, just give in and forget everything that has taken place, ignore the potential risks that I would put Ellie in. I compare it to putting Ellie between the two yellow lines of a busy four lane highway and asking her to crawl across, “Good luck Ellie, I hope the best for you.” That is not the kind of father (or person) I am or will ever be.
I won’t list out here the “risks” but will tell you they have to do with long-term addiction already affecting Ellie three times - once before birth, two afterwards.
I am happy with my attorney, trust we are going in the right direction and have a good plan. It is not cheap but I have no option: not morally, ethically and most importantly, because I love Ellie so very much I would die for her. I will never give up.
I am chagrined that I am having to do this but currently have no chose in the matter.
I’m faced with an outstanding (overdue) $4,800.00 in attorney fees, plus $3,000.00 needed to go into “Mediation” this next Monday, one week from today. This, after already spending $16,000.00 - some of which a few of dear friends loaned me and the rest I have been doing from my weekly pay after necessities for Ellie and will continue to do.
I am asking for help financially, evert penny of which will not go to anything but attorney fees.
To be clear what this gets me in (a) caught up, (b) through mediation (85% of cases settle in mediation only 5% go to trial in WA State) and (c) breathing room to get to the next step, if necessary.
It is my hope that this may be it… I can close this chapter… and look forward to happiness without the stress of of it. I am not holding my breath but know with no uncertainty I will always make Ellie my priority and love her so very much.
I am hope too that her mother eventually become aware of her importance to her daughter which should be priority over herself.
Any help will be more than appreciated and I will be indebted until I return the favor. I love you all and am sorry I am having to do this.
Tom
Drugs tore the dream apart before we ever got started. Blinded by “love” I didn’t see the “obvious” indicators. Blinded by my past “faith” I believed I could change someone/thing and make a bright future out of it anyway. Oh, how wrong I was.
I now have the most amazing child I could have ever asked for. She is my everything for the rest of my life. She has changed my life in ways I never knew possible, my outlook and even my core purpose. I will always respect her mother for this.
I’ve got a great job. I’m working 6 days a week out of necessity and cherish my mornings, evenings and all day Monday with Ellie. I have a good baby sitter that Ellie adores. I cover everything, but, can’t keep up with attorney fees.
Life should be / could be amazing right now! Brand new! Singularly oriented to Ellie’s happiness = my happiness.
All I have asked of her mother all this time is get treated and stay on a treatment to handle her long-term drug addiction. I wanted her to be part of Ellie’s life, I still do, but only the Sober Mom, not the other. I begged and will continue to beg her to get and stay on treatment - which starts with admitting it to oneself and others - but I will NOT put Ellie at risk knowing this is not occurring.
I am faced with the stark reality of a costly and uncertain custody battle and am worrying myself half to death about, “What if I don’t succeed.” I try not to let my stress show when I am with Ellie.
With temporary court orders thanks to my Attorney and despite a lot of crazy back and forth with false claims and “threats” from the opposing attorney, they suggested we attempt Mediation.
With such financial pressure it is easy to see how some fathers would just give in to the situation no matter the risks involved. The answer is, “Just go 50/50 split on custody! Its the obvious solution financially at this point.”
I guess the opposing attorney is rather familiar with this and hoping I’ll give in to the pressure. Their “proposal” for a parenting plan (Washington’s States “Custody” laws call it this) came in and they want me to “signing off” on, “No substance abuse” on “either parents” part.
In other words, just give in and forget everything that has taken place, ignore the potential risks that I would put Ellie in. I compare it to putting Ellie between the two yellow lines of a busy four lane highway and asking her to crawl across, “Good luck Ellie, I hope the best for you.” That is not the kind of father (or person) I am or will ever be.
I won’t list out here the “risks” but will tell you they have to do with long-term addiction already affecting Ellie three times - once before birth, two afterwards.
I am happy with my attorney, trust we are going in the right direction and have a good plan. It is not cheap but I have no option: not morally, ethically and most importantly, because I love Ellie so very much I would die for her. I will never give up.
I am chagrined that I am having to do this but currently have no chose in the matter.
I’m faced with an outstanding (overdue) $4,800.00 in attorney fees, plus $3,000.00 needed to go into “Mediation” this next Monday, one week from today. This, after already spending $16,000.00 - some of which a few of dear friends loaned me and the rest I have been doing from my weekly pay after necessities for Ellie and will continue to do.
I am asking for help financially, evert penny of which will not go to anything but attorney fees.
To be clear what this gets me in (a) caught up, (b) through mediation (85% of cases settle in mediation only 5% go to trial in WA State) and (c) breathing room to get to the next step, if necessary.
It is my hope that this may be it… I can close this chapter… and look forward to happiness without the stress of of it. I am not holding my breath but know with no uncertainty I will always make Ellie my priority and love her so very much.
I am hope too that her mother eventually become aware of her importance to her daughter which should be priority over herself.
Any help will be more than appreciated and I will be indebted until I return the favor. I love you all and am sorry I am having to do this.
Tom
Organizer
Tom DeVocht
Organizer
Kent, WA