Forgotten smile

I heard this once in a film and it always stuck with me .”Remember hope is a good thing maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies”. Hello my name is Steve reading and I’m 47 and a father of 4 and currently live in grays with their mum and my partner Victoria. On the 1st of November 2020 it was a Friday I remember because it was my late brothers birthday and we was going to the dogs at Romford track and that day I come home from work I was not feeling well I had flu like symptoms and over the next 3 week I didn’t show any sign of getting better and by this stage I was having constant headaches and unbelievable pain in my nose and face I was so ill that I was going to bed dressed for work so I could just get up in the morning and go I work for transport company transporting special needs children and the elderly to and from where they needed to go a job I’ve done for 23years and I loved it working and meeting people not great money but to me help someone no matter how little it’s the most rewarding feeling and my work mates let’s just say it could make a great sitcom unique people all with different characters and ways to be honest I never stopped laughing for 23 years eventually I’ve had to give it up because my illness as progressed. So going back my mum and dad where do worried that I got emergency private appointment and when I went the doctors thought I had cancer and had to go for brain scan the next day and then had to wait two week for results .scan came back clear but they discovered I had a hole in my nose which they say could have been caused by using nasal sprays I was so bunged up that I was using a bottle a day because I would have done anything to relieve the pressure in my head and I referred to ent in London but only after the next four years of getting worse every day constantly in pain every minute of every day I was constantly get infections so been on antibiotics trips to a&e been so bad was took away in ambulance during this time COVID was in full swing and I have been neglected by the people who are meant to help because of this the inas rotted my nose away and created a hole in the roof of my mouth and when I eat it goes straight in my nose and I have to clear it after every mouthful and I get in a mess it’s so bad I eat alone because I’m disgusting and it’s not nice and we sat around the dinner table every nite now I can’t

it’s an ordeal to eat and most foods I just cannot eat I live on Farley rusks I have lost so much weight nearly seven stone I’m so thin and boney that it hurts when I sit in bath I can’t even look in a mirror because it shocks me this is a problem that could have been prevented when I first got the hole it was little but food could breach still and I went hospital and was examined confirmed what I said but nothing was done it’s got worse and worse I’m totally disfigured I’ve lost all my confidence I don’t leave my house sometimes I wish I never wake up I’m so sad I’ve changed that much it’s like two different people from the way I look now to the old me I’m unrecognisable and disgusting to look at and I know am because while I was in hospital I walked from my bed to where the nurse sit because I asked for some pain relief over an hour before but they hadn’t brought them so when I asked the nurse she just jumped and said you scared me ain’t you horrible and that was some one who was meant to show compassion and support my well-being my photos tell my ordeal I don’t need words

so my request for help is to have a operation to rebuild my nose my mouth my confidence and my life I don’t expect someday I wake up from a dream where I’m fixed it’s amazing and for seconds when you wake it real then it’s not

I don’t expect no one to even donate to help me and why should they but telling you my story as helped me thanks you and whatever happens in your life keep smiling and be happy x