The Crack Baby Epic - An Autobiographical Film

The Crack Baby Epic - An Autobiographical Film

^ an introspective look at family - a film I made in 2011 with the support of my parents and siblings!
 
INTRODUCTION

Here's what you and I are going to do - we're going to tell a story about how to turn weakness to power. I can't do it without you!

Crack babies aren’t supposed to make it to the age of thirty. I MADE IT! The joke is on you, Pablo… though, you did get a multi-million dollar Netflix production glorifying your legacy of terrorism and violence while society forgot we existed, so… Maybe the joke is on me? Hollywood priorities and all that.

Okay - I was born with the name Kimani Okearah Wallace, and I was born under a condition called Pre-Natal Cocaine Exposure (PCE). I was a “crack baby,” a term used to describe the generation of us born on the quicksand. Yeah… It’s a lot of a lot.

Being born on crack can cause a myriad of problems, and I got the sampler platter. It… uh… diversified the expression of some of my genes, which resulted in a human body that didn’t have any idea on how to develop an intestinal tract. After four major surgeries - a re-section at birth, two emergency re-sections after, and three laparoscopies - my intestines kinda resemble a bunch of plastic grocery bags tied together.

^ Yeah. It’s not what you want. That circled area? I feel that all the time. We’re talking constant pain and discomfort (around a 7 for those in scrubs). In addition to a permanently malformed digestive tract, I suffer from gastroparesis in both my transverse and descending areas of my colon. That means I have to spend a lot of time managing the pathway food takes when I eat, or I can get backed up. (My record is 12 days).

I’ve sacrificed nearly everything I built for myself as an adult to survive the situation - during these past five years of thinking I was gonna die from constipation or a rupture leading to sepsis, some friends and family have poured support into my life. Knowing that people out there care - that’s beyond vital. My approach to life and health has evolved - and I need to share this story with others in case it can help them achieve a similar paradigm.

PROJECT

I am a filmmaker, a photographer, a digital media artist, and a linguist. I am going to produce and direct a short film (targeting 45 min) about solution-oriented thinking in the face of obstacles many can’t imagine.

Key points:

Pre-natal cocaine exposure - Not only do I have physical problems, but I am also neurodivergent. My brain constantly fires off neurons, causing an experience I refer to as a “red storm.” Basically, it’s a compounded level of anxiety that occurs in the back of my brain, allowing me to be conscious of many different ideas at once. This isn’t fun and it’s very unproductive. I’m excited to bring it to the screen! My story is one that has not been told while shows and films glorify drug dealers constantly. Let's commit to justice and change through storytelling.

Foster care/adoption - I was taken from my biological family at 6mos old and put into the foster system. I found myself in a family not unlike many others - capable, flawed, and together. The day I turned 18, it seemed the charade collapsed like the Truman Show as I was kicked out of the home. This experience is so common among foster youth, it's called "Black Bag Day." I, too, gathered my belongings in black trash bags. I think, if you are unlucky enough to go through something like that, some part of you will always feel like you are burdensome to other people. We'll explore solutions to that thinking in the film. We'll explore what it's like to meet your biological family as a grown adult. We'll look at the government's role in family destruction and separation. We'll examine the complexities behind relationships with people who support, raise, and love children that are not their own. There's been struggle throughout these 30 years - we'll show that sorrow is a reflection of love

Professional journey - I wear many hats, but one of my primary functions is photojournalism in the NBA. We'll touch on professional successes and failures while examining the impact of health problems on my career.

Late onset disability - Gastroparesis developed in 2014 following the last major surgery. My colon twisted while I was in a Grocery Outlet. I had to have an emergency re-section and laparoscopy, which kept me in the hospital for a month. A part of the digestive tract (seen above) never woke up, and now I have to use a variety of methods to release the hellish pressure that builds up constantly. It's one of those running side-aches, only constant. This is painful, time-consuming, and hard to understand, even while I’m experiencing it. It’s been this way for five years now, and I have not been in the financial position to address my health care needs. Good news - since I turned 26, I have not had health insurance. I’m finally on a plan again despite the struggles with that plan. We will address this journey with the US health care system with our story. We'll examine loss of function, intense diet changes, lifestyle adjustments, how relationships are affected, and most important - the maintenance of self-love while your body betrays you. You are vital.

Mental health - The current health struggle is debilitating. Maintaining a dignified self-respect has been the hardest thing out of all of this. There’s the “why” of it all, as in “why me?” Why was I born poisoned and deformed, and why must I feel it every waking moment of my life? Why should anybody really give a damn? I fight the feeling of being a burden, the feeling of embarrassment when asking for assistance…. Relationships have changed and disappeared because of my condition, and isolation seems to be a feature at times. I’d like to take this opportunity to explore nutrition’s role in mental health and provide my own experiences in discovering pathways to solution-oriented thinking in the face of life-changing exigency.

Linguistics - Pattern recognition is the foundation  of what we consider to be “human sentience” in that we form all context through observation and recognition of patterns. That’s how you’re reading this right now! Listen - I'm a linguistics nut, and it will always be a huge part of whatever I do.
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Thank you for watching, reading, and ultimately sponsoring this project and my health. Filmmaking is an expensive craft, so the funding we’re asking for reflects the quality we’re building. The digits aren't exactly arbitrary - I was also born in 1989, one of the last “crack babies” of the 80s.

We'll be shooting digital and buying our own equipment. We'd aim to hire the creatives we're working with. Note: If you are a project recruiter from a bigger studio and are interested in helping us get this done, please reach out privately. That is a welcome discussion.

I’ve slated Ryan Young, a filmmaker from Foresthill, California, to co-direct with me. I am writing the script. The plan is to shoot & cast out of Sacramento in service to a larger goal of expanding the film production industry in California's Capitol.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and the doom pit that is my stomach, for reading this and supporting me. Without love and light from my friends, family, and followers, I would never have made it through the shadows of the last few years. Help me tell this story!

I'll set the campaign for 60 days. If we reach our funding goal, we'll do an 80-90 minute feature. If we come up short, but are still able to get some equipment and hire a skeleton crew, we'll do that. There are some immediate health care costs to address that I cannot afford, so a small portion of this campaign ,<2k, will be used for medical needs and stability.

I haven't fully healed, but I believe I am making incremental progress. It's hard to tell, some days are much better than others. I believe, as I have no choice, that this condition will not last forever. And if it does, well... Pain, but make it art!

^ A mosaic for my instagram