100 Mile Christmas Day Hike: A Tribute To Vicki

Vicki was more than a sister— she adored her family, especially her nieces, and shared a special bond with my eldest daughter, Millie. Vix loved her more than anyone. Whether they were laughing on the swings by the sea or sharing stories, their love was unshakeable.

She always had a sense of humour that brightened the darkest days, a kindness that touched everyone who knew her, and a fierce determination to keep going, no matter how difficult things became.

And things did get difficult.

In April 2022, Vicki was diagnosed with asbestos peritoneal mesothelioma, a rare and aggressive cancer caused by asbestos exposure during her school years.

For decades, doctors misdiagnosed her symptoms as IBS. By the time the true cause was discovered, it was too late. Despite this, Vicki fought with unimaginable strength.

Strength that I am in this moment drawing upon to write this. Strength that we all continue to draw upon to help us through the hardest days as we navigate this loss.

She endured chemotherapy, 10 blood transfusions, a major surgery that removed her spleen, gallbladder, part of her stomach. Yet, she made it through and just kept smiling.

Vicki’s resilience was awe-inspiring—and in true Vicki fashion, she kept smiling, kept loving, and even went on a cruise to savour the good days she had left.

Cue awesome picture of her after surgery on the ship with a smile on her face...

Then, even after all of that, she had immunotherapy in her final months, 2 years down the line from diagnosis.

She never fully recovered.

Sadly, on July 6th, 2024, at 11:42 PM, my sister Vicki passed away after a courageous battle with asbestos peritoneal mesothelioma cancer. She was only 41 years old.

She simply never gave up, she was a fighter, and her spirit will forever inspire us.

A Brother’s Promise.

Vicki’s story intertwines with my own in so many ways. We both endured unimaginable pain in our lives—trauma, loss, and hardship—but Vicki taught me to find joy in the little things and to love, no matter what.

As her brother, losing her was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever faced, other than having to tell Millie and see them together in the last few weeks one more time, before she was taken into the hospice for palliative care.

I remember, as if it were yesterday, being by her bedside as we listened to one of her favourite songs, holding her frail hand, as she took her final breath.

Although I couldn't think of anything but the pain in that moment as I come to the realisation that my sister was going to die, I made her a promise: to carry forward her love, her mission, and her fight for awareness.

This promise is deeply personal.

Why I’m Doing This?

During her battle with cancer, I felt useless, like I couldn't do anything, to help, so I asked if I could raise money. But she didn’t want me to raise money in her name. She never explained why, but I respected her wishes.

Now that she’s gone, I can’t sit by idly anymore. I need to take action—for her, for the mission she cared about, and for those struggling like we have.

That’s why this Christmas Day, on what would have been her 42nd birthday, I am honouring her memory in a way that reflects her courage and spirit.

I will hike the entire 100 miles of the South Downs Way, from Winchester to Eastbourne, in less than 48 hours.

I’ll finish the hike by the water, where she felt most at peace, and wish her a happy birthday. No matter the pain I may be in, I will be smiling, because I know she'll be smiling as she watches over me.

Just like she always did.

The Challenges We’ve Faced.

In addition to grieving Vicki’s loss, our family has faced painful struggles since her passing.

A family member has made this process even harder, stealing inheritance meant for her nieces (and other family members) and withholding vital information about Vicki’s ashes, along with trying to sell her much loved artwork and belongings for personal, financial gain.

This person’s actions have prevented closure and created immense emotional and financial strain.

This situation is deeply tied to the unresolved trauma in my family’s history. I have recently shared my story openly about the sexual abuse I endured from this individual, which was most certainly what put a strain on my relationship with Vicki in her final months.

Despite it all, I wish for this person’s healing—but their actions have forced us into expensive legal battles to defend what is right.

My aim is to raise as much money as I can to do that, as well as help toward other really important causes that mattered to Vicki.

Where the Funds Will Go.

This fundraiser is about honouring Vicki, supporting her mission, and helping families like ours who are navigating grief and injustice. The funds raised will be allocated as follows:

• Raising Awareness About Asbestos-Peritoneal Mesothelioma Cancer: She wanted her story to raise awareness about this specific cancer, especially those caused by exposure in schools. Her wish was to protect others from the pain she endured, and we are determined to fulfil that wish. The allocation of funds around this will be for raising awareness and run initiatives to address asbestos exposure in schools.

• Supporting Our Families Struggle With Estate Disputes: Helping us with legal costs to protect the rights of our loved one. We have a caveat in place and an ongoing dispute. Anything to help with these costs would be gratefully received as legal costs during this time we're unexpected. Thousands have already gone into getting justice.

• To Purchase A Memorial: Because we do not know where her ashes have been placed, we have nowhere as a family to go and be with her. We want to place this memorial in the garden of remembrance in Chichester. This will cost typically £3,000-£5000.

• Covering My 100-Mile Hike Expenses: I’ll need supplies like a first aid kit and cold-weather gear to complete this challenge during the harsh winter conditions. I have a friend coming with me who is giving up his Christmas Day, I'd like to make sure he has everything he needs in preparation joining me. I'd prefer not to pay anything toward this so any additional sponsorships are more than welcome!

A Mission of Love.

I know she always hated that her birthday fell on Christmas Day—it never felt like it was truly about her. But this year, it will be all about you, Sissy.

Though we want to raise money, this fundraiser isn’t about that —it’s about Vicki. It’s about carrying forward her wish to make a difference, to spread awareness, and to help others avoid the pain she endured.

Vicki, you taught me so much about resilience, kindness, and more importantly, love. Thank you!

Every step I take on this hike will be for her. Every penny raised will go toward things that she cared about and things that matter.

If you can donate, donate. If you can share this, share it. Whatever you can do will support this mission.

Thank you for your support, your generosity, and for joining me in honouring my sister.

With love and gratitude,

Matt (Brother), Mary (Mum), Tony (Dad), Millie, Remi, Edie (Nieces) & Iona (Sister In Law) as well as everyone who Vicki knew and loved, as she did all of us.

P.S something my sister wrote in a letter before she died will stay with me forever, and I want to share it now, with you, especially if you've lost someone who you love- "Love doesn't die, people do".

Just remember that. She'd want us all to remember that.

P.P.S I want to finally add something that she also wrote on her Instagram, these words were hers, and gives an insight into what she must have felt like on a day to day basis as she struggled with coming to terms with everything and going through her treatments.

She never gave it a title, but if she did, she probably would have called it, "Hope".

Some days you will wake up in a pool of sweat..twice.

Some days you will feel too cold to get out of bed.

Some days you won't go to sleep.

Some days you will have chemo.

Some days you will feel too weak to stand.

Some days you won't be able to eat.

Some days you will go to the hospital.

Some days you will have an allergic reaction.

Some days you will wake up and a month has passed.

Some days everyone will upset you.

Some days you will look in the mirror and not recognise yourself.

Some days you will have blood taken.

Some days you will scream into a pillow.

Some days people will stop and stare.

Some days everyone think they know what's best for you.

Some days the Dr's won't appreciate you questioning them.

Some days you will forget what you did.

Some days you won't be able to muster a sentence.

Some days you will be anxious.

Some days you will cancel plans.

Some days you won't see your loved ones.

Some days you can't imagine things ever being normal again.

Some days people will wonder why you are smiling.

Some days your love will rub your back for hours because the pain is so bad.

Some days you will be told your are dying.

Some days for a brief moment you will feel like you used to.

Most days though, you will have hope.

<3