Help A Trans Vet Transition
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My name is Nikolai, I am a Navy veteran, and I am a trans man in need of help with the largest milestone in my transition- top surgery.
I have been uncomfortable as a girl/woman since I was a child, but it wasn't until 2011 that I came to terms with being trans, and in 2012, I started living as a man as much as I was able without alerting my abusive, deeply religious Methodist mother. I started testosterone in 2016, and while I am finally starting to find peace in the face I see in the mirror, my body, especially my chest, keeps me from loving myself and being who I am.
I served in the Navy as an Aerographer's Mate, and loved my job, but was discharged when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines and chronic fatigue syndrome. I had planned on making the Navy a lifetime career like my cousin and grandfather, but my health and the medical board just wouldn't allow that. I only served four years, despite wanting to serve longer in a job that didn't require much physical activity from me.
The past four years have been rough- I was fired from a job in Alabama for being trans, and being in a small town, word got out, and I was unable to get a job after that. I moved to Dallas TX for better job opportunities, and found a decent job, but bad luck followed me. I had one car die, got into a wreck with another, and had a third that was an accident waiting to happen. I had scary roommates, was living in a hotel and was nearly kicked out for late payments for a few months, and then started having so many migraines that I nearly lost my job. On top of that, I was physically attacked for being trans, and was harassed by a coworker for being trans to the point of having to take it to HR.
This caused financial issues- high insurance from the car wreck, car payments from getting a new car, loss of wages due to missing work at least twice a week due to migraines, late fees on rent, and constant high costs of doctor's visits due to a high deductible plan. It got to the point where I was on the brink of homelessness, so I moved to MD with my best friend and their husband. I have a new job, and a new chance, but I just don't have the means to save for this expensive surgery that will be such a huge improvement in my life- mentally and physically.
On top of that, I was recently diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which aside from explaining all my chronic health issues, is getting worse as I get older- it's also made it impossible for me to wear a binder anymore. Doing so has caused severe, almost irreparable damage to my ribs, and if I continue to bind long term, I will do serious damage to my ribs that can be dangerous to my health. I'm already in need of physical therapy (that I can't afford right now) to get my back muscles strengthened so my ribs will stop slipping. This is causing SERIOUS issues with my dysphoria, and I have been falling into a depression that is affecting my work.
I need help, and I'm beseeching you now for anything you can offer, be it donations, or signal boosting my story.
Here is the breakdown of costs and funds needed:
Surgery cost: 6000 (Out of pocket costs+ anaesthesiologist) My insurance- dental and medical- are absolutely rubbish and my FSA is gone, and it's likely my procedure won't be covered. This is the amount for a worst-case scenario in which my insurance doesn't cover the procedure.
I am aware this is a very large amount of money- it is the full cost of the procedure, but right now, anything helps. I had a very disheartening talk with an insurance agent from Aetna, and walked away from the conversation learning that even with years of documented gender dysphoria- including counselling for dysphoria related suicidal thoughts- and over three years of HRT, there is a high chance my claim would be denied, so I cannot rely on insurance for this. I'm on my own.
Post surgical care: 200 (pressure garments, scar cream, bandages, etc. Estimating high just in case, as the pressure garments alone are nearly 80$ These are necessary, as I have EDS and my healing will be slower and difficult, so anything that aids my healing process is a need.)
Questions I know that must be going through people's minds:
What is EDS? It's a condition where the body doesn't make enough collagen, so my joints are floppy, and are easily dislocated, usually partially, which is called sublaxation. I usually have this happen in my ribs, and getting top surgery will reduce this by a LOT as I am an F cup and that's a lot of weight on my poor ribs!
Who's the bird? That is Gino. He's 30 this year, and I have had him since I was eight years old. If not for me, please donate and share for him?
Why haven't you filed for disability? Because fibromyalgia/migraines/chronic fatigue are very hard to pinpoint causes on, and are harder to prove as disabilities without YEARS of medical documentation, work documents showing how much you've missed, it goes on. Also, it doesn't pay enough to survive on.
Is there a time limit? I am going to run this until I get as much help as I can!
I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and hopefully, donate or share my story. It means so much to me that you've taken the time from your day to read about my time of need.
Any help, be it sharing my story or donating to my cause, will be one step closer to making my life so much better by relieving my dysphoria, helping alleviate some of my rib and back pain, and even possibly some of my migraines. I cannot express how much improvement this would make in and to my life.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Nikolai Vitcovschi
I have been uncomfortable as a girl/woman since I was a child, but it wasn't until 2011 that I came to terms with being trans, and in 2012, I started living as a man as much as I was able without alerting my abusive, deeply religious Methodist mother. I started testosterone in 2016, and while I am finally starting to find peace in the face I see in the mirror, my body, especially my chest, keeps me from loving myself and being who I am.
I served in the Navy as an Aerographer's Mate, and loved my job, but was discharged when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, chronic migraines and chronic fatigue syndrome. I had planned on making the Navy a lifetime career like my cousin and grandfather, but my health and the medical board just wouldn't allow that. I only served four years, despite wanting to serve longer in a job that didn't require much physical activity from me.
The past four years have been rough- I was fired from a job in Alabama for being trans, and being in a small town, word got out, and I was unable to get a job after that. I moved to Dallas TX for better job opportunities, and found a decent job, but bad luck followed me. I had one car die, got into a wreck with another, and had a third that was an accident waiting to happen. I had scary roommates, was living in a hotel and was nearly kicked out for late payments for a few months, and then started having so many migraines that I nearly lost my job. On top of that, I was physically attacked for being trans, and was harassed by a coworker for being trans to the point of having to take it to HR.
This caused financial issues- high insurance from the car wreck, car payments from getting a new car, loss of wages due to missing work at least twice a week due to migraines, late fees on rent, and constant high costs of doctor's visits due to a high deductible plan. It got to the point where I was on the brink of homelessness, so I moved to MD with my best friend and their husband. I have a new job, and a new chance, but I just don't have the means to save for this expensive surgery that will be such a huge improvement in my life- mentally and physically.
On top of that, I was recently diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which aside from explaining all my chronic health issues, is getting worse as I get older- it's also made it impossible for me to wear a binder anymore. Doing so has caused severe, almost irreparable damage to my ribs, and if I continue to bind long term, I will do serious damage to my ribs that can be dangerous to my health. I'm already in need of physical therapy (that I can't afford right now) to get my back muscles strengthened so my ribs will stop slipping. This is causing SERIOUS issues with my dysphoria, and I have been falling into a depression that is affecting my work.
I need help, and I'm beseeching you now for anything you can offer, be it donations, or signal boosting my story.
Here is the breakdown of costs and funds needed:
Surgery cost: 6000 (Out of pocket costs+ anaesthesiologist) My insurance- dental and medical- are absolutely rubbish and my FSA is gone, and it's likely my procedure won't be covered. This is the amount for a worst-case scenario in which my insurance doesn't cover the procedure.
I am aware this is a very large amount of money- it is the full cost of the procedure, but right now, anything helps. I had a very disheartening talk with an insurance agent from Aetna, and walked away from the conversation learning that even with years of documented gender dysphoria- including counselling for dysphoria related suicidal thoughts- and over three years of HRT, there is a high chance my claim would be denied, so I cannot rely on insurance for this. I'm on my own.
Post surgical care: 200 (pressure garments, scar cream, bandages, etc. Estimating high just in case, as the pressure garments alone are nearly 80$ These are necessary, as I have EDS and my healing will be slower and difficult, so anything that aids my healing process is a need.)
Questions I know that must be going through people's minds:
What is EDS? It's a condition where the body doesn't make enough collagen, so my joints are floppy, and are easily dislocated, usually partially, which is called sublaxation. I usually have this happen in my ribs, and getting top surgery will reduce this by a LOT as I am an F cup and that's a lot of weight on my poor ribs!
Who's the bird? That is Gino. He's 30 this year, and I have had him since I was eight years old. If not for me, please donate and share for him?
Why haven't you filed for disability? Because fibromyalgia/migraines/chronic fatigue are very hard to pinpoint causes on, and are harder to prove as disabilities without YEARS of medical documentation, work documents showing how much you've missed, it goes on. Also, it doesn't pay enough to survive on.
Is there a time limit? I am going to run this until I get as much help as I can!
I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and hopefully, donate or share my story. It means so much to me that you've taken the time from your day to read about my time of need.
Any help, be it sharing my story or donating to my cause, will be one step closer to making my life so much better by relieving my dysphoria, helping alleviate some of my rib and back pain, and even possibly some of my migraines. I cannot express how much improvement this would make in and to my life.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Nikolai Vitcovschi
Organizer
Nikolai Dacian Vitcovschi
Organizer
Annapolis, MD