6 marathons in 3 days to support Bears of Hope.

I will be attempting to complete 6 marathons over 3 days to raise money in aid of Bears Of Hope Pregnancy & Infant Loss.

On Friday the 7th of October I will start my journey with the first row and then move into the first run.

Saturday the 8th of October will consist of a back-to-back cycle effort.

Sunday the 9th of October will have the second of my rows and the second run to finish it off.

As some of you will know, I am by no means an elite athlete but if attempting this can get some much-needed awareness and raise funds, then I am all in. This is a very personal cause for not only myself, but my family and very close friends, please read their stories and share as this is much more common in our world then we would think.

Niamh's Story

(My beautiful niece who started this journey for me, thank you Cara and Stephen for sharing.)

After an anxious first trimester we were well on the home stretch and for the first time in our pregnancy, I took a breath. Followed by what can only be described as my breath was taken from me. It was Monday November 9th, 2020. The day I changed forever. An innocence, a naïveté lost. One that I didn’t know existed.

It was our 20-week scan, as I lay there, I was so focused on her heartbeat, she’s alive, she’s doing okay. It was the moment that the sonographer said the obstetrician was going to check in with us that the anxiety became all-consuming again. Steve sat next to me, held my hand, tears running down his face. When you know but you’re holding onto this moment - the last moment that your dream stays just that, a dream. As we waited in the waiting room, couples coming and going, waiting to be seen, I just remember nausea and struggling to breathe.

We were called, the OB scanned once again for a whole minute if that before the moment – “I’m sorry, your baby has XYZ. I’ll give you a moment”. I didn’t even understand the diagnosis, all I knew was that it was not the dream, and I was not the person I was a moment ago. And the looming question, “What would you like to do?” Like we had a choice in all of this. Like we were deciding what was for dinner. But we weren’t, we were deciding: “Do we bring our baby girl into the world knowing she would be fighting to stay alive?” or “Do we stop this pregnancy and say goodbye to our daughter and our dream?”

In the dark depths of this journey, you go to places you never knew existed. What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? Why is this happening? And a whole load of other questions that you would say I’m crazy for asking (thankfully my psychologist doesn’t!). But it was bad luck. And now we needed to figure out what to do. So, from there, came explanations, tests, more explanations, more tests, unfortunately more diagnosis. We spent weeks sitting with the country’s leading experts. Asking impossible questions and wanting impossible answers.

We sat in stillness with each other. We asked each other the toughest questions. We disagreed. We took time to have fun and then did the whole loop again. In the end, we decided that our daughter, our family, us, did not need to live suffering. Then at just over 23 weeks, we had a Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR). The unspoken shameful corner of the baby loss world.

We went to the hospital where 2 doctors had signed off on ‘the procedure’. Our obstetrician met us, and we discussed what would happen. I would be induced to give birth. “12 hours”. That’s the typical length of time for a TFMR induction. 48 hours later on Friday December 4th, 2020, at 9:47am, our beautiful angel, Niamh (pronounced Neve) Maria Margaret Scott was born sleeping.

In her 24 weeks with us, she has taught us so much and made us the proudest parents on earth. She has shown strength, determination, courage, and resilience whilst teaching us about love, hope, grace, and a kindness of others we would never have known.

The work that Bears of Hope does is beyond incredible. Because of them we were able to spend the night with our daughter having access to a Cuddle Cot. As we left the hospital, our arms were occupied as we were gifted a Bears of Hope bear. I’ll be forever grateful to have something small to carry with me. And after leaving the hospital, Bears of Hope were our first port of call for support. Knowing that our councillors had experienced baby loss, we knew that our thoughts and feelings were understood and validated. We were supported (and still are) beyond measure all for free. We are beyond grateful for never having empty arms thanks to Bears of Hope. Niamh, know that you will always be loved, are safe and never forgotten.

Amelia's Story

(Our close friends Nathan and Collette Butler, and their beautiful daughter, Thank you for sharing.)

Amelia Maree Butler

On the 26th of May 2020 at 5:50am Amelia was born still at 38weeks. Born beautiful and perfect but still.

Mine and Nathan’s pregnancy journey was wonderful and very straightforward with nil complications throughout the pregnancy. All of my midwife appointments were unremarkable, Amelia appeared to be head down and the scans perfect.

At 2am on the 26th of May I woke to contractions. By 4:30am Nathan & I were in the labour ward. 5-6 cm dilated. As I started to request pain relief it was discovered that Amelia was in the breech position.

A caesarean was called but quickly Amelia’s heart rate started to decrease.

A code blue called & we were rushed to the theatre.

As Nathan was taken back to the maternity unit to wait, I was out very quickly under a general anaesthetic.

But it was too late for Amelia - she had already passed. Born with her umbilical code around her neck - the very thing that was feeding her life, took her life.

Though the amazing doctors tried their best to bring Amelia back through CPR, it was already too late.

I woke in recovery, Nathan there, asking where my baby was - “She didn’t make it”.

Those words have now shaped my life forever.

That morning I went in expecting to bring home a healthy baby to her nursery, to meet our family but we went home with empty arms, to plan a funeral and a life without my daughter.

Since that day Nathan and I have gone onto have three miscarriages in the hopes of giving Amelia a sibling.

The four babies I have lost has shaped me and made me understand that baby loss can be a lonely journey sometimes.

That’s where support networks go a long way in supporting families going through baby loss.

I think of Amelia and my little souls every day. I am beyond grateful for the time Nathan & I had with Amelia and will forever find ways to keep her memory alive.

Our Story

My wife (Brooke) and I have also had the heartbreak of hearing that our little angel's heart was no longer beating. On an exciting Friday afternoon, we went in to get an ultrasound to check on the little one, our happiness suddenly turned into heartache when the doctor said they couldn't find a heartbeat. The sudden shock and emptiness that those words bring on are gut-wrenching. We have since been blessed with a little boy (Sonny) but we still think about our little angel all the time, who we know is watching over him. We know how often this is happening even in this day and age, and that is why i have decided to take this challenge up.

So please donate and share!

Cheers,

Shane & Brooke Egan

Thank you in advance for your contribution to this cause that means so much to me.

Bears Of Hope Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support provides leading support and exceptional care for families who experience the loss of their baby.

We seek to provide crucial information and embrace families during their difficult time of loss, and beyond.