13 months out and still struggling.

I first have to thank all of you that have donated or supported me over the last several months. The words 'thank you' will never come close to how you much you made a difference in my ability to move forward or how much of a difference you made in my life.

It hasn't been easy, but I am getting there. I had promised not to post this again, but things have gotten a little scarier than I had anticipated. I really have to thank Tracy Goodson-Espy for reposting this, and making me realize that I need to ask for more help.

I am actually able to get around without any devices. My cane, like my umbrella, stay in the car just in case I need them. I may move slow, but I get there and I don't always have to pay attention to my feet. My balance is getting much better. My limitations revolve around the bathroom issues related to CES. I have to schedule my time around going to the bathroom every hour or so. Nerve disorders take a rather long time to heal, my ability to walk and the motor skills in my legs are ahead of the curve, the rest for now, is just a guess. 3-5 years or permanant.

My biggest issue is finding enough paying work. I currently am helping build a website for a local gallery and have also been doing some bookkeeping for a small, high-end, travel company. I have other things in the works and a list of leads, but is a game of numbers and a game of timing.

Eventually I may be able to recreate my cleaning business, honestly I don't want to. I like how this has made me slow down and really appreciate what I do have. Sort of like, stop and smell the roses. I can identify at least 10 squirrels in my yard by thier markings. I have laughed at the new litters of Chipmonks and I have watched many a baby bird being cared for by their parents.

I am moving forward. On paper it seems so easy to achieve. In life it has been a bit of a surprise and frustrating. For various reasons, I don't/didn't/won't qualify for any safety net/social financial help. What I can fight for seems to be far more work than trying to find work.

I have worked hard, have moved in a roommate and reorganized my house. I am having to come to terms with a lot of things. I am just floored by how hard it is to find work. 

Any help would be greatly appreciated...even just sharing this.

BTW...the dragonfly is meant as a metaphor. That poor guy sat on my attenae while I was washing the car. He was looking for food. The water on the car and the reflctive surfaces of the glass and the paint..he thought he was over a stream or a pond. Maybe, I am hovering over the wrong spot as well.