Courtney's Love for Carson

My niece Courtney passed away on Nov. 8, 2019. She had cystic fibrosis which is a chronic disease affecting mainly the lungs. Her lung collapsed on Sept. 10, 2019 and she went into cardiac arrest. She was saved but spent the next two months on a ventilator to help her breathe. We tried to get Courtney new lungs but we were rejected by the two Boston hospitals who perform lung transplants - a story for another day. Courtney was lucid, aware, mentally sound, could eat & drink once she got a trach and looked and acted like herself - except she had a machine breathing for her. This means she knew that she had no hope left and she knew she was dying. For two months. She was afraid. Very afraid. But her greatest anguish was that she was not going to be able to watch Carson grow up. Anytime doctors spoke to her during this time, she would ask, "How much longer can I be a mom?" When she was rejected by the last hospital who could list her for lungs, she wrote to me, "I can't believe it? How do you say goodbye to a 7 year old?" I was Courtney's "person" and we had a lot of heartbreaking conversations in those last two months. I bought her birthday cards to write out for Carson until he turns 17. She wants me to mail them to him each year and asked me to put money in them. I wrote her Last Will with her to dictate her wishes for her son. She told me she would like to be cremated and have some of her ashes put in a heart container for Carson. No one should ever have to plan to say goodbye to their 7 year old son at the age of 25. I was helpless for the most part. But what I could do is promise Courtney during our conversations over those two months that me and our entire extended family would make sure that Carson lived a happy life where he felt truly loved. And that we all would talk about her every day and never, ever let him forget his beautiful Mom. I promised her this again in my final conversation with her to say "goodbye". I promised Courtney many things in our last conversation and, at some point, through tears, I said, "I hope to god you can hear me!". And Courtney's eyes flew open for a moment and she nodded her head slightly. She gave me one final gift by reassuring me she heard me. That means I was able to provide her with some level of peace and comfort before she passed away. At least that's what I hope with my whole heart. This request for donations is for Carson's future. His dad Josh - with help from all of us - will make sure Carson has what he needs day to day. My hope though is to fulfill my promise to Courtney that we will provide a happy and fulfilling life for Carson. A life where he has choices and the financial support to make those choices. Courtney fought so hard and for so long to stay here with her son. Sadly, her lungs wouldn't let her stay any longer. We lost Courtney but she left us her legacy - this beautiful, sweet, little boy. Thank you in advance for helping us provide for this sweet boy as he grows up without his loving mom.