Stand with Ben through a 5th Cancer War

Diagnosed with cancer five times in one lifetime? That's me! I received my fifth stage IV cancer diagnosis in June 2022. Before that, I had been diagnosed with cancer four times since 2019. The first diagnosis was when I was a freak outlier at the age of 14, likely due to exposure to an environmental toxin alongside my two great friends, John and Amber. Both suffered different forms of rare cancer in their teens and passed away at a young age.

Doctors now believe this new round of cancer challenges is the result of the radiation I was given back in 1994. My tumor is so rare that there isn't much of a path established by other survivors. My cancer is bone cancer, called "undifferentiated sarcoma." When I was young, they called it Fibrosarcoma. It's an asymmetrical tumor, meaning it doesn't have clean edges for them to cut it out. It is also part bone, so it is hard to say where it begins and ends.

They think that if they tried to remove it, I would run a great risk of needing to amputate my leg/legs or bleed to death. The sacrum is where I think it is mostly located, although bits have spread to other organs, namely my adrenals and lung. I've worked with a lot of great doctors who have provided insights, but truth be told, the riddle of it is far beyond what they normally see.

Currently, I am on Keytruda and Excheva (bone strengthening agent). The risk of the bone breaking isn't higher than normal, but I have incurred a lot of nerve damage. I have two full-time jobs that I have continued working on, but neither provides health insurance. I pay for my insurance out of pocket and have maxed out my deductible four years in a row. The financial support helps me greatly.

People always ask if they can help in some way, and that is a meaningful form of energy transmission for me. The contributions help me go the extra mile with my treatment regimen, allowing me to invest in healing modalities like acupuncture and therapy. I pride myself on taking care of myself and opening up feel vulnerable.

The whole experience is otherworldly. Spending time in hospitals, you see how others are suffering. I am grateful for your support and love. I want to get healthy again so that I can bring love and care to the environment of my homeland. I have enjoyed my work in coffee and ecology, and I am all in on regenerative potentialities, be they in agricultural fields or employee chat rooms.

How do I keep working? I love it, and I have been working in coffee now for close to twenty years. This cancer would be easy if it didn't mess with my nerves, but it did, and that is the most challenging ongoing experience I have ever been a part of. I am often in so much pain, the feeling of no escape floods me.

Thanks for listening to me. Thanks for sharing if you feel so inclined. I send my steadfast love to you. If you ever have a family member who gets cancer, or God forbid you do, I am happy to talk to them if that is something they want. I am all in on supporting my cancer brethren.

I see cancer as an ecological disturbance. Nature works often in systems of cycling, like carbon cycles, water cycles, and nutrient cycling. I do believe that if you hold on and endure, you can cycle through this experience and come out the other side more in love with the world than you thought was possible. It's really hard to find another threshold that offers simple and elegant tenderness. I cry at things I think are beautiful almost every day.

In the 27 years, I had between cancer #1 and #2, I lived an adventurous life. Now that I can't travel (yet), let me say to you—GO! Life can change in an instant and opportunities change along with the body's wellness.

Most of what moves me are when the indestructible spirit moves through people. I had a hard time seeing that before my cancer wars. I don't know how to end this, so I am just going to say thanks for the care. Your support means the world to me, and I'm grateful for any help you can provide.

By sharing my story, I hope to stand in solidarity with others facing similar challenges and raise awareness about the complexities of cancer. Thank you for your love, support, and understanding.