Violently Abusive Ex Needs to be Stopped

When I first met them, it seemed like Layla and her family were living a normal suburban life. It didn’t take long for me to learn that things were not what they seemed. One night in October 2020, Layla’s father was arrested and spent 3 nights in jail for violently abusing her mother. When he got out, he filed for divorce and sought sole custody of Layla along with child support, alimony, and monthly payments so he could continue to reside in their marital home. The courts awarded them 50/50 custody with no alimony, no housing payments, and no child support for either party.

I’ve created this GoFundMe to help pay for legal fees for Layla and her mother. In a second bid to get child support, Layla’s father has filed in court for a modification of custody in order to have Layla with him full time. He wants to take her from her mother for good, and he’s doing it for his personal financial benefit.

Though each parent has 50/50 custody, Layla’s father has frequently ceded his parenting time to her mother and has, on more than one occasion, forgotten to pick his daughter up from school. In three separate instances, Layla has come home from her father’s house with a urinary tract infection. One time she came home with scratches all over her legs, but she wouldn’t talk about how they happened. Another time, she had a hand-print shaped bruise on her upper arm. She mentioned in passing to her mother that when she’s having a tantrum, her father chokes her until she can’t breathe. CPS did a forensic interview of Layla and confirmed that he did choke her, but they also said that because there were no marks on her neck, it isn’t considered abuse in the State of Colorado.

When we first met, Layla’s mother was working multiple jobs and long hours in order to pay tuition for her father as he completed his schooling. I learned Layla had been a medically complex baby who had experienced a stroke in utero. She and her mother spent every day of the first three years of Layla’s life visiting doctors, going to physical and occupational therapy, doing speech exercises together, and engaging in sensory play. Her mother learned baby massage, and she made Layla’s meals and snacks at home and from scratch. By the time Layla had reached 3 years old, she was walking, talking, and playing just like any typically developing child, so her parents decided it was time to enroll her in Head Start, and that’s when her mother went back to work. She dedicated herself to giving Layla a childhood free from the struggles of poverty and abuse which she herself had experienced as a child. That’s why she tried for so long to help her husband work through his problems. She believed if she could just get him the right mental health supports, everything would be fine. But some people do not change, and she eventually had to accept that fact.

Layla’s mother shifted her attention and spent most of her time, energy, and money on lawyers, talking with CPS, talking to the Sheriff, and taking her child to doctors and therapy. Her employer felt that her personal life was interfering with work, and he fired her.

Layla and her mother now live in Boulder County, and with the support of a therapist, Layla has started to adjust to her new life and has gained coping skills for when she has to be with her father. She’s showing signs that the generous little girl who is filled with wonder for the world around her is still there underneath all the pain, betrayal, fear, and hurt that no child her age should have to experience.

Unfortunately, just as Layla has started to make emotional progress, her father has again filed for sole custody and child support. My hope is for us to raise enough money for her mother to hire an attorney, which includes a retainer fee, in order to navigate this issue in court and keep Layla safe.

Please don’t feel that any amount is too small. I believe there are enough people who care about Layla and her mother that we can easily reach our goal.

And if you don’t have money to share, here's where you can make a huge difference: if you have a work opportunity for Layla’s mother so that she can earn a subsistence wage while still being able to meet her daughter’s needs, this could change both of their lives. Her mother’s spirit is nearly broken and will take some mending. She needs someone to take a chance on her, to encourage her, and to show her kindness in order to help heal these wounds. If you believe in the power of single mothers and have an opportunity for her, please message me so I can connect you.

It's so rare that we get a chance to affect so much change on one little life. I think back to how many people poured into my life with their generosity, time, money, encouragement, and it brings me to tears. The impact that those people had on my life can never be measured. I am so grateful for the way our lives are intertwined. I cannot thank you enough for caring about Layla. This is our big chance to keep her safe and help her thrive.

Thank you.