Help me fund my top surgery

UPDATE:

Dear all,

First off, I want to thank all of you who donated a year ago, and I want to make it clear your support has made a huge difference. I have been steadfastly working on my weight and hope to see improvements soon also.

I have thought for many months about how to update this GoFundMe.

It's been very hard to admit, and i have been for a long time scared/avoidant of having to come to terms with the reality myself, but the truth is; I will have to ask, once again, for your help.

At the time of putting up the GoFundMe, i was living with another person, a partner at the time, who did not have income. Our living situation was that of a crisis situation, born out of another crisis situation, and i tried my best to 'provide' for the both of us, using the income i had at the time (welfare). Not only was this a very precarious situation financially, but on top of this, i received, about a month or two after starting the GoFundMe, huge bills, unexpectedly. Among these were health insurance bills, a huge tax bill, as well as an increase in rent+housing and living costs, and so on. I can sit here and detail each specific bill, but the point is, that i was forced at multiple points to take care of these costs with whatever money i could find because I, we had to survive (and i don't use this word lightly). That money, sadly, was from the GoFundMe, as i had no other way to cover these costs.

And so, over time, the money shrunk, and I have had to deal and still am dealing with the indescribable pain of seeing my one tangible opportunity to get top surgery, and everything that means, slowly fade from my eyes.

At this point, as it stands, my living situation has changed, and this person is no longer living with me. Thankfully, i also expect to have welfare again soon, though this still means i won't be able to regather the funds with my own income source. But seeing as there aren't any foreseeable huge bills coming in anytime soon, nor am I any longer supporting someone else financially, I figure the time to finally ask for help again, is now. Since this time around i will be sure that any donations can actually be used for what they're intended for; my top surgery.

So, after thinking about it very long and hard, and re-evaluating what i feel i deserve to ask for in terms of help, as a Black person with my intersectionality and positionality as well, and coming to terms with the fact that I've been put in a very difficult financial position because of bills and situations that were far beyond my control, i come to you now, to ask your help once again, but by all means for once and for all, so that the money I'm able to raise this time, can go directly to my top surgery, and to my long-awaited future of being myself.

The top surgery itself still costs 5000, so that is the minimum i am trying to raise, but i have again opened the number up to include travel and accommodation costs, as well as diagnostic and aftercare costs.

I know other people who've had to reopen funding or ask for support a second/third etc. time because they've had to use donations to literally survive. And i thank them too for empathizing with me, and lovingly reminding me, that asking for help in the first place is a burden, and that this society makes it so continuously hard for us as Black trans & queer bodies to survive, and that therefore support is and has to be continuous, and not just in monetary terms.

I ask you, to please donate and share, or share if you are not able to donate, and i thank you for your understanding, reading and spreading the word. And I wish you warmth and safety, and in these violent dark times.

-ORIGINAL POST BELOW-

My name is Kalib. I am a Black person who identifies as queer trans nonbinary. I'm a writer and a community artist based in the Netherlands.

POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING CONTENT: DYSPHORIA, TRAUMA, SURGICAL TERMS

 

For the past 13 years, I have been struggling deeply with my breasts; physically, spiritually, mentally and in terms of identity. I have gone down that, to many, well-known road of trying to get on a waiting list at a gender healthcare organization, only to then lose help and retract my application, to then, years later validate my need for surgery again, and apply yet again, only to have the organization in question (Stepwork) go bankrupt and be left in the dark as to when I will actually now be helped. Currently the new organization in its place is not even in the final stages of finding a healthcare team, and it's been about 2 years on the waiting list already. As you may know, gender healthcare in the Netherlands has abysmal waiting times, so it's certain I will have to wait at least another year to start the process, and it will likely take more than another year of therapy and assessments before I am actually referred to a surgery team. Not to mention that I have already had problems in the past with healthcare professionals who have stated my weight as a reason to deny me the surgery.

 

I can't wait anymore. I realized, with the true help of my loved ones, that I deserve better.

So I am trying to, with your help, raise money to get a mastectomy at a private clinic in Brugge, Belgium, the most affordable option( also in terms of logistics such as distance). For uninsured (which I fall under given I can't get a referral) patients, the double-incision procedure costs a total of 6250 euros, including anesthesia. The additional 300 is for travel costs, recovery stay, but mostly for deducted gofundme fees. I have included below an email (dutch) of one of the surgeons stating the price, as well as a breakdown of the costs.

 

Thank you, for reading this, and if you can't donate, a share would be incredibly appreciated. Anything to get closer to the life I deserve to live, I am grateful for. Much love, Kalib