Baby Lawson Dreams (IVF)
Donation protected
Dear Friends,
With the encouragement of family and friends, Adam and I have decided to ask for help with a very personal endeavor — not an easy feat, mind you! I initially hesitated in creating this campaign, because I know that so many others are battling demons of their own and dealing with daily struggles far worse than our (sometimes seemingly impossible) dream to be parents. That, combined with a slight sense of pride and the difficulty I have in sharing our personal, painful story, has kept us from speaking up sooner.
But you never know if you don’t try, right? After all, we want nothing more than to start a family of our own. *deep breath*
I’ll start by telling you a bit about ourselves: My husband, Adam Lawson, is 34 and was born in Independence, MO. Adam served more than four years with the United States Marine Corps as a K-9 handler, including several deployments overseas. After being honorably discharged, Adam continued to serve his country on a smaller scale as a civilian, working for an ammunition production company.
(Adam and Tino)
My story, on the other hand, is not quite so heroic.
My name is Kelly Lawson, and I am 36 years old. Shortly after my parents’ divorce, I unexpectedly became pregnant at the age of 15. On October 27, 1994, at 16 years old, I gave birth to the most perfect baby boy, Gage Ray Sproat.
I was in awe of Gage from day one — my adventurous little boy was opinionated, outspoken and consistently stood up for his beliefs, even from a young age. He was always finding new ways to make me smile, and I was so proud of the little man he was, and the man he might have someday become. I’ll never forget the time my little first grader got into a fight at school for defending a young girl who was being ridiculed over her race. I got a call from the principal, but nothing prepared me for the moment I heard his side of the story. He said, “Mom, you can ground me if you want, but what they were doing was wrong. I can't just stand by and watch that. I may be in trouble, but that wouldn't stop me from doing it again, because it was wrong, what they were saying to her." Talk about a proud Mommy moment! I knew in that instance I was doing something right.
While I did start out as a single mom, I met my other half, Jeremiah Herr (JD) when Gage was 2 years old. I knew instantly that JD was the man I wanted in my son’s life — he was respectful, honest and hardworking. We raised Gage together, not without lifes ups and downs, but together.
It was a day I could never forget even if I tried… September 3, 2003. I was in college, working part-time as an online tech, and Gage had just started third grade. JD loaned his truck to a friend who was moving, and in turn, he borrowed his buddy’s motorcycle. The look on Gage’s face when he got off the school bus and saw JD on the bike was priceless — he was so mesmerized, I barely got so much as a, “Hi, Mom.” He asked JD for a ride, and away they went the four short blocks home. I was left alone, carrying Gage’s book bag home.
I later got a call to come into work, just for an hour. Too young to stay home by himself, Gage was given the choice to either go with me to work or go with JD to his brother’s house. One look at Gage’s face, and I knew he would much rather be with JD riding the motorcycle than sitting around a bunch of computer techs with me.
That conversation forever echoes in my head to this day: "JD, I want him to have that smile on his face for the rest of his life. Please be careful," I said. His response: "Kelly, I would rather die than let anything happen to him.” As I left for work, JD and Gage were standing on the porch, and JD was putting Gage’s helmet on. All I could think was how lucky I was to have two amazing guys in my life.
After work, I called JD on my way home to see what he wanted for dinner and if he and Gage had fun on their ride. There was no answer; I left a message and continued home. I remember feeling as if something wasn’t right, but never in a million years did I expect what I was about to hear. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw a highway patrol car sitting in front of our house. People were standing outside my neighbor’s house, and they directed me to Ruth’s house across the street. Ruth is JD’s mom and had been fighting breast cancer; I thought something had maybe happened to her. Then my neighbor Ronnie immediately said, “They’re gone.” My mind was racing. They? Who are you talking about? Where are JD and Gage? Why is the highway patrol here? Why isn’t JD coming to tell me what’s wrong? Once again Ronnie said it, “They’re gone.” At this point, I’m not sure if I passed out or I blacked out, but it hit me — he was talking about JD and Gage. This can’t be. I just left them. They were happy, excited, going for a ride. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. This could not be true. JD and Gage were going to ride up any minute, and my world would be right again.
Sadly, I was lying to myself. It was true. At the time, I thought my life was over. It took many years to get used to them not being here. It has been 12 years now, and Gage would’ve been 21 this fall.
(Family and Friends celebrating Gage's life)
Some of these stories are easier than others to tell. I could go on and on about the fun times and the days filled with love, but in all honesty our lives were not perfect, they were normal lives. We had our ups and downs. Mistakes were made and shoulda, woulda, coulda thoughts are daily reminders of what needs to be held dear.
Without my faith, family and friends, I’m not sure I would be here. The first few years were very dark — I was a loner and didn’t want to allow myself to love anyone else as much as I loved Gage and JD. The only so-called problem was that my mom and stepdad had a daughter two years before the accident, and no matter how much I didn’t want to open my heart, I already loved that baby girl more than words could say. I believe there is a reason for everything; she was my reason to keep going, to be better than I was yesterday, and the reason I needed to learn to love again.
After many years of struggling with mistakes I had made in the years after losing Gage I began to find who I was. It has been a long road, one with many bumps. Forgiving someone else is the easy part, forgiving yourself takes more time.
Fast-forward to today: After feeling as if I would never and could never love again, I met Adam. Adam is the most loving, hard-working selfless man I have ever met. After four years of dating, Adam proposed and I said yes! Surrounded by our family and friends, we were married on September 27, 2014. Adam and I have always talked about having kids — it is something we both want, desperately. We have known for a while that we are unable to conceive naturally, and In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is our only option. Sadly, it is a costly one that most health insurances won’t cover.
That said, it is with excitement, fear and baby dreams that we humbly ask for help in our endeavor to be Mom and Dad. Adam and I have set up a baby fund that we contribute to weekly, and any donations whatsoever, small or large, will be graciously appreciated.
Thank you so much for hearing our story, because I truly believe — by faith, family and friends, no dream is too large.
With Love,
Adam and Kelly
With the encouragement of family and friends, Adam and I have decided to ask for help with a very personal endeavor — not an easy feat, mind you! I initially hesitated in creating this campaign, because I know that so many others are battling demons of their own and dealing with daily struggles far worse than our (sometimes seemingly impossible) dream to be parents. That, combined with a slight sense of pride and the difficulty I have in sharing our personal, painful story, has kept us from speaking up sooner.
But you never know if you don’t try, right? After all, we want nothing more than to start a family of our own. *deep breath*
I’ll start by telling you a bit about ourselves: My husband, Adam Lawson, is 34 and was born in Independence, MO. Adam served more than four years with the United States Marine Corps as a K-9 handler, including several deployments overseas. After being honorably discharged, Adam continued to serve his country on a smaller scale as a civilian, working for an ammunition production company.
(Adam and Tino)My story, on the other hand, is not quite so heroic.
My name is Kelly Lawson, and I am 36 years old. Shortly after my parents’ divorce, I unexpectedly became pregnant at the age of 15. On October 27, 1994, at 16 years old, I gave birth to the most perfect baby boy, Gage Ray Sproat.
I was in awe of Gage from day one — my adventurous little boy was opinionated, outspoken and consistently stood up for his beliefs, even from a young age. He was always finding new ways to make me smile, and I was so proud of the little man he was, and the man he might have someday become. I’ll never forget the time my little first grader got into a fight at school for defending a young girl who was being ridiculed over her race. I got a call from the principal, but nothing prepared me for the moment I heard his side of the story. He said, “Mom, you can ground me if you want, but what they were doing was wrong. I can't just stand by and watch that. I may be in trouble, but that wouldn't stop me from doing it again, because it was wrong, what they were saying to her." Talk about a proud Mommy moment! I knew in that instance I was doing something right.
While I did start out as a single mom, I met my other half, Jeremiah Herr (JD) when Gage was 2 years old. I knew instantly that JD was the man I wanted in my son’s life — he was respectful, honest and hardworking. We raised Gage together, not without lifes ups and downs, but together.
It was a day I could never forget even if I tried… September 3, 2003. I was in college, working part-time as an online tech, and Gage had just started third grade. JD loaned his truck to a friend who was moving, and in turn, he borrowed his buddy’s motorcycle. The look on Gage’s face when he got off the school bus and saw JD on the bike was priceless — he was so mesmerized, I barely got so much as a, “Hi, Mom.” He asked JD for a ride, and away they went the four short blocks home. I was left alone, carrying Gage’s book bag home.
I later got a call to come into work, just for an hour. Too young to stay home by himself, Gage was given the choice to either go with me to work or go with JD to his brother’s house. One look at Gage’s face, and I knew he would much rather be with JD riding the motorcycle than sitting around a bunch of computer techs with me.
That conversation forever echoes in my head to this day: "JD, I want him to have that smile on his face for the rest of his life. Please be careful," I said. His response: "Kelly, I would rather die than let anything happen to him.” As I left for work, JD and Gage were standing on the porch, and JD was putting Gage’s helmet on. All I could think was how lucky I was to have two amazing guys in my life.
After work, I called JD on my way home to see what he wanted for dinner and if he and Gage had fun on their ride. There was no answer; I left a message and continued home. I remember feeling as if something wasn’t right, but never in a million years did I expect what I was about to hear. As I pulled into the driveway, I saw a highway patrol car sitting in front of our house. People were standing outside my neighbor’s house, and they directed me to Ruth’s house across the street. Ruth is JD’s mom and had been fighting breast cancer; I thought something had maybe happened to her. Then my neighbor Ronnie immediately said, “They’re gone.” My mind was racing. They? Who are you talking about? Where are JD and Gage? Why is the highway patrol here? Why isn’t JD coming to tell me what’s wrong? Once again Ronnie said it, “They’re gone.” At this point, I’m not sure if I passed out or I blacked out, but it hit me — he was talking about JD and Gage. This can’t be. I just left them. They were happy, excited, going for a ride. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. This could not be true. JD and Gage were going to ride up any minute, and my world would be right again.
Sadly, I was lying to myself. It was true. At the time, I thought my life was over. It took many years to get used to them not being here. It has been 12 years now, and Gage would’ve been 21 this fall.
(Family and Friends celebrating Gage's life)Some of these stories are easier than others to tell. I could go on and on about the fun times and the days filled with love, but in all honesty our lives were not perfect, they were normal lives. We had our ups and downs. Mistakes were made and shoulda, woulda, coulda thoughts are daily reminders of what needs to be held dear.
Without my faith, family and friends, I’m not sure I would be here. The first few years were very dark — I was a loner and didn’t want to allow myself to love anyone else as much as I loved Gage and JD. The only so-called problem was that my mom and stepdad had a daughter two years before the accident, and no matter how much I didn’t want to open my heart, I already loved that baby girl more than words could say. I believe there is a reason for everything; she was my reason to keep going, to be better than I was yesterday, and the reason I needed to learn to love again.
After many years of struggling with mistakes I had made in the years after losing Gage I began to find who I was. It has been a long road, one with many bumps. Forgiving someone else is the easy part, forgiving yourself takes more time.
Fast-forward to today: After feeling as if I would never and could never love again, I met Adam. Adam is the most loving, hard-working selfless man I have ever met. After four years of dating, Adam proposed and I said yes! Surrounded by our family and friends, we were married on September 27, 2014. Adam and I have always talked about having kids — it is something we both want, desperately. We have known for a while that we are unable to conceive naturally, and In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is our only option. Sadly, it is a costly one that most health insurances won’t cover.
That said, it is with excitement, fear and baby dreams that we humbly ask for help in our endeavor to be Mom and Dad. Adam and I have set up a baby fund that we contribute to weekly, and any donations whatsoever, small or large, will be graciously appreciated.
Thank you so much for hearing our story, because I truly believe — by faith, family and friends, no dream is too large.
With Love,
Adam and Kelly
Organizer
Kelly Lawson
Organizer
Agency, MO