our donor egg IVF

Hi,My name is Charlotte and my partner's name is Lewis, we have set up this gofundme in the hope to help raise funds towards the costs for further fertility treatment which some people have suggested to do in the past. We haven’t taken this decision lightly as the below shares the personal and emotional journey we have been on so far, but we feel now is the time to ask as our journey to become parents has reached 4 years and sadly are options are now limited.

When we started trying for a baby in 2019, like everyone we thought it would happen naturally for us but a year down the line, already having major issues with my periods where I would be bleeding for 6 months at a time heavily without a break, confirmed endometriosis and cysts on my ovaries, that was not to be and so the battle began and we sort medical help. We still questioned if we was doing it wrong. We had tried everything you could possibly think of, I had endless supplies of folic acid, we brought an AVA fertility watch and I paid stupidly for fertility readings that led to more heartache. We were referred to the NHS fertility services at Colchester hospital in February 2020 and then covid hit the UK causing huge backlogs. Throughout covid, I had many blood tests, various scans both internal and external, a HyCoSy (where they check for blockages in the follopian tubes- to which sadly I had due to scar tissue and endometriosis causing these blockages) chlamydia screenings etc, vagina screenings, all of which I had to attend alone, Lewis also had to have a semen analysis. Luteal phase tests for myself confirmed I wasn’t ovulating, however results from my HyCoSy and other tests showed, albeit on the low side, I still had some eggs in my ovarian reserve they just was being a bit stubborn. This determined that this was Purely only female factor infertility. Due to the blockages in my Fallopian tubes, I was referred for laparoscopy

surgery to perform adhesiolysis and remove any endometriosis and cysts I had. This was originally stated this would be early autumn 2020 but I finally had this procedure done, alone in May 2021. You can only imagine the sadness the waiting caused, especially over the festive period when pregnancy announcements are every other post on social media and you long for those Christmas family days out capturing cute photos and making memories. Sadly, the surgery wasn’t as successful as hoped and I only had one good fallopian tube, but our fertility Doctor reassured us she had treated many women in the same position who had gone on to have a child/children. Shortly after, although still feeling like months, we started Clomid. A fertility drug to treat women who do not ovulate/have PCOS. I consistently spent my days symptom spotting, only for multiple negative tests, tears, high emotions and blood tests to show this hasn’t changed my stats, our dosage was then upped on clomiphene and once again, we got our hopes up and believed we would fall pregnant in a matter of weeks, only for this not be successful. We then went back to our fertility doctor who gave us letrozole, another drug to stimulate ovulation and once again this didn’t work. We tried two different doses and although very emotional due to the hormones increase, this left us with more heartbreak because we knew we had now exhausted tablet treatment.This took us through to September 2022, the waiting was always the hardest part because you just know time is running away. With every pregnancy announcement comes tears of envy wondering why it wasn’t us and why we deserved this. September came, and our fertility doctor confirmed what we knew and this was that our only other option would be IVF. It was exciting, exciting for our family members and friends and for family who for them, it would be their first grandchild but we had to have some realism that IVF success rates are less than 50% and there was no guarantee we would be funded as it’s very much postcode lottery. We sat and went through all the criteria, which we met, barr our BMI’s and was given a number to call as soon as we had met these, so with sheer determination, we set off on a huge weight loss journey and lost 5 stone between us, absolutely smashing our targets our doctor had set. Having our baby was more important than any cake, chocolate bar or takeaway we turned down. We then had our appointment in March 2023 to complete all final tests and confirm our BMI’s. Our fertility doctor was over the moon, as was we when she said she would be discharging us and that the next time we would hear any news would be from the CCG to give preference on our chosen fertility clinic. Upon leaving the hospital I had to have some last blood tests for handover which was my HBA1C as I’m diabetic, and my AMH, this has to be at a level of 5.5 or above to qualify for the IVF but our doctor reassured us that previous results of tests meant we had nothing to worry about. Only we did, three weeks later, APRIL 2023, we came home to a NHS letter with an appointment for our fertility doctor at Colchester general. Why? She has said we was discharged. I almost knew it was bad news but Lewis tried to remain positive as he has done throughout our whole journey but I just knew. Saturday came, I walked in from work to yet another letter. Opening this I was hoping and praying that this would be a letter to say there had been an IT Issue, however it wasn’t. In black and white read my ovarian reserve levels are very low. 5.5 is considered low but enough to be funded and mine are 1.6. The letter stated the appointment made was to talk over our next options but we knew what this meant for us, for me. And sadly, this is that I will never have my own biological child, we may be able to become parents but this doesn’t stop this from breaking your heart. I won’t be ever able to look at our baby and say they look like me. I fell into my mums arms and sobbed. Today Tuesday 2nd May, we had that appointment and was giving information for Donor egg IVF and details about private clinics open evenings where they discuss the process and financial costs. Our fertility specialist, Ms Yedula also has said she will write to the CCG to see if they will fund for the IVF and we just take the costs for the Donor side of things but she has also been honest and said in most situations they say no. She was pretty lost for words, tears were cried and she handed us the box of tissues and tried to comfort us both. She has been amazing throughout this whole process, it’s just a shame the decision is not in her hands. There are no other options at the moment and the thing is, I dont actually know if I can carry we are just hoping I can do and that I can still have that instant maternal bond with our someday baby. This news sadly means we will not be funded and the estimated cost for donor egg IVF is around £7-9k per cycle, with around a 40% success rate each cycle. This has been the most heartbreaking news we have ever had to experience and it pains to think we have to pay to be the parents we are so desperate to be when we have so much love to give and are sooo so ready to be a mummy and daddy as we have been for the last 48 months, just now more than ever.

This has been a physical, mental and a huge emotional struggle for the past 4 years that has consumed our lives daily and we will continue to battle on with grief throughout any further fertility treatment in the hope of a precious longed for baby. The hope of having a child is all that keeps us going most days.

Sadly the day we found out we wouldn’t be eligible for NHS funding, Lewis van broke down due to the engine blowing up. Being self employed means with no van, comes no work and this is expected to cost anything from £3k-6k which hasn’t helped our situation and many tears have been cried the last few weeks.

We need to raise funds to be able to continue with our journey for the baby we long for, our only way to conceive is with medical intervention, through a private clinic and an egg donor. I Charlotte, am 32 years and so desperate to be a mum as is Lewis a dad. We have family with newborn clothes in the wardrobe with hope that these will be filled with tiny hands and feet.

If you have gotten this far we thank you so much for taking the time to read our story, We appreciate it and any help that you can give.

With all our love and thanks,

Charlotte & Lewis