For Military mental health & suicide awareness

Update(DEC2022): It has now been a year since my battle to separate from the Army. I continue to have mental challenges daily, mostly dealing with the unconscionable actions being brought against me. The feelings of being purposeless are draining. Even a prisoner knows their anticipated release date and can plan for the future...I have no anticipated resolution to my ordeal. Most of the time I feel like a jaywalker who is looking to be punished with the death penalty. While I have gained some support and will continue to make awareness my driving force, it has been disheartening to hear good friends state that my ambitions are noble but I am not going to get the attention necessary for these issues because I am not a celebrity. I hope that is not the case. I pray to continue to gain further support and raise greater awareness for the everyday Joe/Jane.

My ambitious goal for Military mental health and suicide awareness is to raise $100,000.

Where should I start? I guess the current situation is the best place…I am a 13+ years U.S. Army Officer, awaiting a court-martial for standing with the First Amendment and conducting a silent protest against the procedural aspects of the COVID-19 vaccination mandate. My silent protest has been ongoing since I learned I would be reprimanded in the Army around December 2021. My protest is not cutting my hair or shaving my beard until my separation from the Army, to make a point that the procedures for separation related to the vaccine mandate were not handled in a just manner. I kept my protest silent, only my immediate supervisors understood my stance. Initially, I was allowed to conduct my protest and moved to a civilian intern position. I requested to voluntarily depart from the Army, known as an Unqualified Resignation (UQR), to allow my separation to be characterized with an honorable discharge on 01 July 2022. This is where the story takes an interesting and unfathomable turn.

First, I should explain my point about the procedural aspects of the separation not being handled in a just manner. All service members who refused the COVID-19 vaccine were administratively counseled and labeled as MISCONDUCT for the separation procedures. With a label of MISCONDUCT, service members to be separated, regardless of years of service or merit of prior duties, would not receive involuntary separation pay. This is the pay the military gives members when released early, as a type of severance package whilst the service members look for further work or return to school. Also being labeled as MISCONDUCT, service members were not given an end-of-career service award or a commensurate final evaluation/characterization of discharge. If service members do not receive an honorable discharge, they stand to lose G.I Bill benefits, which they volunteered their service to receive…for their use or their children’s future use. Additionally, the 01 July 2022 separation date was not announced until Feb 2022. At the time, Dec 2021 service members were expected to continue to work with an uncertain military future, without possibility of promotion, duty station movement, or any favorable actions, until someone above the units informed them of the service member's separation date.

Moving forward to the (first) unfathomable turn, after submitting my UQR in March 2022 and having it approved in April 2022, I was set to leave Okinawa on 25 June 2022, with a final separation date of 01 July 2022. I should state, since beginning of January, after holiday leave completed, I moved to a civilian intern position, on a separate base, away from all military personnel. Near mid-May 2022, on or around the 16th, my unit informed me that they now have issues with my silent protest and I am formally ordered to cut my hair and shave my beard. I figure, since I have an approved leave date with actual separation orders in hand and I am invoking my First Amendment right, I could continue my silent protest until the approximately six remaining weeks have lapsed and the most the unit could undertake would be to add an administrative reprimand to my file. HAHA…was I wrong. My unit rushed through the process to have my UQR revoked; no investigation into my alleged misconduct was conducted until 23 June 2022, and on that same day, I was informed I would be transferred to mainland Japan to await court-martial…in the name of good order and discipline.

After spending two months on Mainland Japan and undergoing numerous court-martial proceedings, there shone some light following the pre-trial hearing. A senior legal officer from a separate branch listened to both sides and returned a recommendation of “administrative or non-judicial punishment.” The senior officer added, “It does not seem other administrative or non-judicial punishments were pursued prior to resorting to [initiation] of court-martial charges.” Another additional comment, “The desire to obtain a punitive dismissal from a general court-martial for a silent, yet apparent, 6-month protest, especially after recommending and approving a UQR for essentially the same basis, seems disingenuous.” And so the light which shone in my favor had arrived…HAHA…not so fast. The unit disregarded the senior legal officer’s recommendation and I am still awaiting a court-martial.

The reason I am starting a GoFundMe, over the last 11+ months, I have lost trust in people; I have had my mental health tested to its limits; and I have begun to lose sense of purpose and place as a citizen. I ask for your help to raise money for some charities which have allowed me to keep my wits and given me hope that good things still can occur in spite of bad situations. As mentioned, I have been growing my hair and beard since Dec 2021…I plan to continue to grow my hair and beard until it reaches a length suitable for hair donation. The ultimate plan is to have an event with the charities I support and the organization to which I will donate my hair to have a live hair/beard cutting. My hair, beard, and 10% of funds raised will go to Locks of Love. The final 90% of the money will be divided equally between Stop Soldier Suicide, Mallory’s Army Foundation, and U.S. Vets.

The reason I have chosen these organizations:

Locks of Love (https://locksoflove.org) work tirelessly to return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss. They can also use beard hair to assist with oil spills and maintaining waterways clean. I figure my protest can assist someone get beyond their issues and help the environment.

Stop Soldier Suicide (https://stopsoldiersuicide.org) perform a much needed service to assist service members find assistance to the keys to preventing suicide: identify, understand, and address the underlying issues— BEFORE they escalate to a point of crisis. In the past months, I figure a less mentally resilient version of myself may not have handled these issues well if it were not for assistance and reassurance from others. The growing times of isolation and distrust of fellow man can take any individual into some rather dark places.

Mallory’s Army Foundation (https://mallorysarmy.org) exposed me to two major concerns we all deal with at times, bullying and potential for suicide. I never felt an Army Soldier would have to be concerned about bullying as much as suicide, but these past months have opened my eyes to the daunting realization…everyone can be bullied. The isolation, intimidation, impeding success/career, undermining work merit, and questioning one’s ability to be a contributor…all these facets of workplace bullying have become all too real to me. I would never wish them on another human.

U.S. Vets (https://usvets.org) vision, all veterans and their families shall have their needs met to regain and maintain productive independence, made a huge impact in my thought-process over the course of my ordeal. Although I have never thought about begin homeless, the reality of the situation is my current organization is not simply looking to reprimand me for the stance I have taken; it feels like they are looking to destroy my future as well. It is good to know I have a caring family and tremendous support, if times become too difficult.

Please help me turn this negative ordeal into a positive outcome for groups who assist others.

I begin this GoFundMe with a $1,000 pledge and further pledge to donate an additional $1,000 each month until the hair-cutting event.