Brian Haney Memorial Fund

So...many of you know the man, the myth, the legend... Brian Haney.

Commonly referred to as the master of Spotify playlists, a never-ending font of movie/music trivia knowledge, the only man to rival Bob Ross in artistic skill, flat iron steak enthusiast, Tyrion Lannister (purely based on looks), and international 2005-2006 Blockbuster Video Fallout champion.

Brian is the best person in the world, whether or not you know him (this is a proven fact...science). Everyone he has touched (both physically and emotionally) is better for knowing him, which is hard to admit considering the person writing this is PRETTY fucking great.

Recently, we found out that Brian's pancreas is PRETTY broken...McDonald's ice cream machine broken...stage 4 pancreatic cancer broken. And as we all know, it costs McDonalds $900 million to fix their ice cream machines annually, so you can only imagine what hospital bills are for one person! Brian, and his AMAZING wife Andrea, would never ask for help because that isn't their style. I am sure I quote Brian directly when I remember him saying, "I can't be worrying about that sh*t. Life goes on, man.".

SO...that is where I come in. Brian and Andrea would give the shirts off their backs to help ANYONE, no questions asked. I am here to ask our tribe, both near and far to help THEM for once. Hospital bills are EXPENSIVE (especially at the Mayo Clinic...) and any sort of financial relief at this time would be HUGE. Whether you can afford $1... or $20,000, it is more appreciated than you will ever know.

If you cannot afford to contribute financially, you CAN still help! We ask EVERYONE to have hope. We ask EVERYONE to have the most positive of thoughts. We ask everyone to visualize the chemotherapy punching the cancer in its dumb fuc*ing face (there is real data to prove this DOES help). And most of all...NO pity party. You are ALL on Team Haney now (#HaneyHard), and we are a team of fighters!

Thank you for ALL of your support...now... let's FU*K cancer Haney Hard!!!!

"C-3PO: Sir, the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three-thousand-seven-hundred-twenty to one!

Han Solo: Never tell me the odds!"