Kate & Dale's IVF Miracle
Hello everyone and thank you for taking time and interest to read our story.
Dale and I met under circumstances that can only be described as “destiny” in June of 2005. From the time we met we have been inseparable!
In 2008, at the age of 18, I was diagnosed with PCOS. I had never heard of Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. When my doctor explained what PCOS is and about treatment for it, she asked what my family goals were. At that time, Dale and I knew we would want and have a family some day, and the Dr. explained with PCOS there may be difficulty conceiving, but at the same time made it sound as if it would not be a big deal, when the time came, there would be medication to help us conceive.
Dale and I made plans for a secure future for ourselves and our family. We began attending college. You have probably heard the saying (and maybe experienced the truth of it for yourself) “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” Shortly after Dale and I began attending college my dad was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. We moved back home to be near him and help my mom take care of him. A little over a year after his diagnosis on August 2, 2011, his body succumbed to the disease and he went home to be with the Lord.
Later the same year, on November 11th, Dale and I were married. We had been together for over 6-years and planned to start our own family immediately!
In the meantime, I went to school and earned my certification as a Medical Assistant. Shortly afterward, Dale also received his MA certification.
Our desire and hope to start our family continued. After many months of disappointments from not becoming pregnant, I visited my doctor. My periods were irregular which made the disappointments of negative pregnancy tests so very hard to bear, because the month you skip a period becomes the month you MUST be pregnant! Visits to the Dr. left me feeling as if I were overreacting about the missed periods, not knowing when I was really ovulating or not.
I became obsessed and consumed with reading everything I could about PCOS and infertility. I read every infertility blog and cried along with so many couples who were experiencing the same roller coaster ride Dale and I experienced month after painful month! Year 1 – no pregnancy. Year 2. Year 3. We prayed, believed, had family and friends praying and believing with us, wrote out Bible verses and read them every day, read books, talk shows, and cried together month after negative month.
Time to see a specialist.
Looking back, I will encourage any couple actively seeking to start their family, if you are not pregnant within 6-months, seek the counsel of a specialist or at the very least, get a second opinion from another Dr.
Our new Dr. was so knowledgeable, kind and caring. He took his time with us, explained my condition thoroughly, and prescribed me the correct medication to get us to conception! Our excitement and hope (confident expectation) was knowing we would soon be exclaiming our good news to everyone!
And still, more negative tests. I had head knowledge that it took me 25-years to get here (Dale was 27-years old) and it would take a while to turn this around…
then…
THE TWO PINK LINES !! December 28, 2015. I went to get my mom, (Dale and I live together with my mom since my dad died. It’s been a win/win situation for all three of us!), showed her the test and the three of us laughed, cried, and laughed some more. She had been buying us baby stuff and putting it away for several years. Definitely the happiest day of our life!
I had a flawless pregnancy! Glowing with happiness, love for my baby, joy for my husband and praise for my God! At 20-weeks we found out we were having a son! We had his name picked out for years – Dale Isaac, Dale after his father, Isaac is a Hebrew name meaning “he will laugh, he will rejoice” …and we did a lot of both! We nicknamed him “DJ”.
However, around my 29th-week, I began feeling something wasn't right. DJ wasn’t moving as much as he had been. Dale and I went to the hospital OB triage and they monitored his heart rate. They told us everything was fine and that he was probably just getting bigger and running out of room, said not to worry and sent us home.
A day or two passed and I told Dale that something wasn't right. We went back to the hospital. The same routine and sent us home within a couple hours. I could tell everyone thought I was being a "paranoid new mom".
A couple more days passed and I knew in my heart that something wasn't right.
I woke up with a terrible migraine around 3a.m. on July 29th, 2016 (about 7-months). I remember singing praise and worship songs out loud and praying for the pain to go away.
Around 9a.m., I checked DJ’s heartbeat with our home doppler - 147bpm- I fell back asleep and woke up around noon.
I could tell my baby wasn't moving and I spoke with my mom and we prayed and believed everything would going to be okay! I went to check DJ’s heart beat again and I could not find it.
Dale rushed me to the hospital. We prayed the whole way and agreed to not take a bad report. The nurse took us right back to a room and began the same exact routine, except this time as she was searching for his heartbeat I saw panic in her eyes.
Another nurse came in and tried and I couldn't hold back my tears. The on-call doctor came in with a small ultrasound machine. We held our breath watching as she used the wand searching over my belly trying to find any cardiac activity. She looked at us and almost all hope was out of her eyes.
She ordered for another ultrasound to be done on a larger machine that can show more detail. We will never forget the image of our lifeless son on the ultrasound machine. Once our little ball of energy kicking his legs and wiggling about looked as if he was in suspended animation.
Dale and I started to call our pray warriors and we notified our close friends and family. We were believing in a miracle. We went home and prayed for hours on end. I had a vision of Jesus weeping with me and asking the same question we had, "WHY?!". The thief came in to steal, kill and destroy.
But the TRUTH is that DJ is in Heaven and we WILL see him again!
Dale and I, may have been shaken but we wouldn't be overcome. The next morning on July 30th, which happened to be my mother’s birthday, we headed back to the hospital where my labor would be induced.
I gave birth to my sleeping baby boy, Dale Isaac Brothers on July 31st, 2016, weighing 2lbs 11oz. He was perfect in every way! He had his daddy’s features, but he had my toes and nose, a head full of curly brown hair. We were allowed to spend over 24-hours with him. We held him, kissed him and talked to him.
We knew we wanted to try again soon, because it is our hearts desire to have children and we are getting “older”, I will be 27 in June and Dale will be 30 in October. I began seeing the Dr. who delivered DJ. Our whole experience at the hospital was a divine intervention - we love our nurses and our new doctor.
I had several blood tests done and they came back normal. There was no explanation of why DJ passed away.
So, I was prescribed medication to help me ovulate like before and we began trying again. After 6-months of medication, our doctor advised us that we should consider IVF.
We had our first appointment at IVF of Michigan on March 6th, 2017. We met with Dr. Shamma who has one of the highest IVF success rates in the country. He is very confident and compassionate. He ordered a lot of genetic labs for Dale and I. Dales came back normal however, mine showed that I have a blood clotting disorder and Dr. Shamma strongly believes that was a factor in DJ’s death. The bloodwork showed that, I am diagnosed with a genetic defect that causes hyper blood clotting (Hypercoagulation). Not only do I have a greater chance of developing blood clots (which may cause heart attack, PE or stroke), this disorder also causes miscarriage and a probable cause of DJ dying. I will need to start medication before implanting the fertilized egg.
So many mixed emotions hearing that - I'm glad we have an answer of why DJ died now, but so sad it could have been prevented if we would have known.
So now we are starting our IVF journey. Honestly, I thought that IVF was going to be quick and easy - but it's quite a process full of emotions, waiting, hormones, more emotions...you get the idea.
Thankfully, through the years we have been able to have a savings. We believed we had most, if not all the funds we would need…
During a pre-IVF ultrasound, the Dr. discovered that I have a growth in my uterus that would hinder conception. I will have to undergo surgery to have the growth removed prior to implanting the fertilized egg.
As we said before “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans”, and because of the diagnosis and medications we are now at a cost above what we have saved. The cost for the IVF procedure is $13,680, add $1,500 for labs and ultrasounds, the cost of the medication which is $4,190.27. Our total is approximately $19,370.27. Subtract our savings and we are still in need of approximately $7,500.
We do not make this request lightly, through much thought, praying, talking with others we feel this may be our “saving grace”, and our dream to become parents, and after the heartbreak of what we went through with DJ, we yearn to give him siblings even more. Thank you for reading our story. Thank you for sharing our story. Thank you for giving!
Dale and Katie Brothers
P.S. As a small show of our sincere appreciation, we would like anyone donating any amount, to have a Psalm 23 Bracelet. This Psalm means so much to us. Please make sure to include your address if you would like one sent to you. Thank you all so much!
DJ holding our wedding bands
and a small cross. Psalms 23