Our journey to parenthood isn't so simple.

We are Suzanne and Thaddeus Nelson.

If you know us, you know that we each led a whole lifetime before fate finally placed us together in an Anthropology classroom in 2010. We hope to make up for the time we never had by living our lives to the fullest and loving each other beyond capacity every single day! We've done that by becoming fiber artists and runners, helping facilitate the donation of many thousands of dollars to charities like St. Jude Children's Research Hospital and Bigger Than The Trail. We believe in taking our love, and making the world more beautiful with it. There's nothing like a good adventure! We have worked on cleanup committees, we have collected money and items when neighbors lost everything in a fire, and we have donated our time to putting together running events so that local charities would receive the funding they desperately need.

Unfortunately, the time has come that we need a little love, too.

Having children was something we both always wanted. Our niece is the light of our lives! But we knew from the get-go that babies might not be in the cards for us. Suzanne's appendix burst in 2002, and a series of unfortunate medical mistakes made it so that she lost half of her reproductive system before the age of 23. Conceiving naturally is impossible, and the absence of fertility coverage early in our relationship meant that parenthood wasn't going to be a simple, straightforward path. Earlier this year, we were able to obtain medical coverage for IVF and we have undergone several cycles. Unfortunately, it's too late. Suzanne's remaining ovary has some complications that make egg retrieval incredibly unlikely. After four devastating IVF cycles, we still have yet to retrieve even one healthy egg.

Many of you already know this. Thank you so much for being supportive and loving to us since we opened up about our story on social media. We've had an outpouring of kind words and offers to help. We are now asking for that help, if you are able. This is incredibly hard and humbling for us to do, but we see no other way to make our dream come true.

We are sure that all of you have a beautiful love story to tell - maybe that love story is with your partner, or maybe you have chosen to have that love story with yourself, a friend, a pet, or a craft that you've honed. We all know how to love so deeply that we'd lose a part of ourselves if that loved thing wasn't there anymore. We already love this baby that much. We have loved this baby from the very moment they were an idea - and with each passing month and failed cycle, we lose that dream baby over and over again.

Although science is absolutely amazing, we know that biology isn't everything.

This means that ANY baby is going to be OUR baby. To us, genetics do not matter, and proceeding with donor eggs is our choice. We never imagined having to plan for the purchase of donor eggs in our future, and our budget is just not there for what it is going to cost. A "lot" of only 6-8 frozen donor eggs is in the range of $20,000 to $30,000 USD, and that's without any guarantees! If we would like to make sure at least once frozen embryo is guaranteed, we are in for another $5,000 - $10,000. If we hope for a "live birth" guarantee, we will be paying $40,000 out of pocket. We have a tiny bit of savings, but, it isn't a dent in that amount and it should be going toward labor and delivery copays.

Why not "just adopt?"

We know that many of you have questions. And that's great. People are naturally curious. But what many people do not understand is that "just adopt" isn't a thing, just like "just do IVF and you'll have your baby" isn't a thing. We wish it was. IVF and adoption are both a chance, and nothing more. Adoption can cost up to $75,000 out of pocket, and we still many never bring home a child because birth mothers have every right to change their minds (as they should!) after going through the entire process. And many of you have become parents by natural conception, and you understand what that pregnancy meant to you. If someone took that choice away from you and told you to "just adopt because there are children out there who need you," you'd be pretty bummed. People have said some really wild things to us, and although many of those things were coming from a good place, the impact was not as intended. When you don't fully understand something, please know that opinions aren't always welcome. Words can heal, but they can also hurt deeply. Choose your words carefully, particularly around loved ones who are living with infertility. You can help the most by just listening!

We have experienced so much loss on this journey, and we do not have the emotional fortitude to have the promise of a baby, only to have that taken away at the last minute. It's not for everyone.

So just take out loans, then.

We are absolutely going to do that! Our finances, however, do not necessarily allow for the massive monthly payment that a "live birth" guarantee option will cost. We are truly hoping for the kindness of strangers to help mitigate the difference between what we will be able to pay, and what we will owe.

Our promise to you

We will always be available to our child(ren). We will be present in their lives not just physically, but emotionally. We want to raise a kind little human with empathy and appreciation, so that little human can become an amazing BIG human. We will not stop being parents when our child is 18, because the job is never "done." We will be supportive and guide with love. And we will make mistakes, but we will always apologize for those mistakes and take accountability, because it's so important for our children to see that! Someday, in the future, we will make sure we give back to those who are trying to grow THEIR family, even if those folks are total strangers. We have the unique understanding of what it's like to have our hearts full with an empty crib.

If you can donate, please do. If you cannot, please share this. Perhaps it will speak to someone with the means to help us facilitate our path to parenthood. From the bottom of our broken hearts, THANK YOU!