Stand With Me In Battle! My Custody Fight!

Hello everyone! My name is Althea, and I am starting this GoFundMe in the hopes that there are people out there who can help me in my  custody fight for my daughter, who is 11 years old. To do that, I would like everyone reading this to know how I came to be in this fight to start with:

My ex-husband and I divorced in February of 2018. At the time, he and I felt that we were adult enough and on the same to where we did not need to involve lawyers. We did our papers ourselves and in doing so, it is evident that doing our papers in this way left the entire custody section in the grey. This though was never an issue until August 2021, as both he and I co-parented just fine. If there was something I had an issue with how he parented or if he had an issue with me, we were able to talk to each other about it.

 

1 year ago today (April 26th, 2021), I was in a horrible car accident with a drunk driver. While I was in the hospital recovering, it was found that I had a 6mm aortic aneurysm and I was told I would need to have it repaired ASAP as my doctors were surprised that it had not ruptured yet. My ex and his now fiancée appeared to be very supportive and told me that they would be there for me. Once school for my daughter was out for the summer, she started spending more time with her dad and other family.

 His mother, stepmother, and father all offered their help to take care of me after I had my open-heart surgery. Everything was set in place with my ex taking care of our daughter while I was in the hospital and then my daughter would return to my home so that she could start school the week after my surgery. My former in-laws would be there with me and would help get my daughter to and from school until I could drive.

This though is not what happened and instead I received a very not so nice email while I was still recovering I the hospital telling me that I could not care for our daughter and I was forbid from contacting his the opposing parties family from helping me in anyway. Opposing party also started that since I did not have help, that they  were going to enroll our daughter into a new school, and she would live with them full time. I was on heavy medication (my sternum was just sawed open) and not sure how I was even going to get out of the hospital now, I felt I had no way to fight for my daughter at that time. I did not so much as agree to this arrangement as to I felt I had no option at my disposal.

I obtained a lawyer, as I knew that I had to go to court and get the custody re-written in our papers. It was this grey area that allowed my ex to do what he did. It took over 4 months though before my lawyers and I were able to get a court date. Once the opposing party realized that I intended to fight for my daughter is when things turned very, very ugly.

Over the course of time since my daughter has lived away from me full time, the process of alienated me from her started. Little seeds are planted in her head that I am not a good mother, that she resents me, that we need to ‘repair’ our relationship. My daughter and I have always been able to talk about things and yes we bumped heads now and then but the way he portrayed things, it was like she and I hated each other. There was even a false CPS report filed against me. My daughter and I had a fight on 12-10-21 over her cell phone which was something I was against from the start as I feel she is too young that she is provided with. She is connected to her phone 24/7 and we had a fight because she refused to get off the phone and I attempted to take it from her. She says that I traumatized her by trying to take the phone and the opposing party use this to withhold her from me.

The CPS report was filed by a therapist that was treating my daughter which I would not have even known who filed had I not been told in an email. I hold joint legal and physical custody but was never consulted about her having a therapist. I feel that this therapist who has no experience working with children and only had been practicing for 8 months when he started treated my daughter was manipulated into filing the report. CWS closed the report as quickly as it was opened for no merit.  This CPS report was used as a rational why my daughter was being withheld from me starting on Dec 17th and I was not able to even get her back until Feb 26th after I won my Ex-Parte. It is being alleged that I am a raging alcoholic and to prove that this is false, I agreed to use a BAC monitor. I only must use it when I have her on the weekends, but I chose to use it everyday to show that what is being said about me is not correct.

During the times that the opposing party was withholding my daughter, I had to call the non-emergency police and had to file visitation violations with the San Diego County DA’s office.  A restraining order was attempted to be filed  against me for these times saying I was stalking and harassing the people that my daughter lives with. The 3 times I had to do call the police, the officers told me that  since the custody papers were ‘vague’ and that I was doing the right thing by attempting to get my daughter. They also told me that I was not in any violation despite the falsities that have been put forth in opposing court documents. The court saw through the attempt to file the restraining order and denied it without even needing a response from me. However, I am still being taken to court to try to get that decision reversed even though I have done nothing in the slightest wrong.

I now have my every weekend, but these weekends are not happy ones. She has not had an opposing voice for many months and believes everything that the opposing party has told her. She is very open with the fact that she is being told  everything about the case. I feel that this is not fair to her as these adult issues and a child should not have to be involved. The communications to myself and my lawyer are not very pleasant. My income $65k a year living in Southern California does not go that far and is nothing compared to the other parties.

I am asking for any kind of help raising funds to help continue paying for my lawyer fees as even though we have our next court date set of May 13th, 2022 in which the judge should lay out custody, I am doubtful that it will end there. I am trying to raise $7500.00 that will allow me to fight a .The turmoil that I am in seems to have no end as my own daughter will not even say she loves me anymore. But I refuse to stop fighting for her. She is and has been my world. I love her too much to ever stop.

If you can help, I will be overjoyed. It is such a dark time for me right now, but I know that I am not alone, and I know that there are so many other parents out there who are going through the same things. If you would like to know more, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and I will gladly share with you whatever it is that you need. Thank you!