A 488 mile bike ride from Gosport to Scotland for PTSD.

I came home on Christmas Eve 1998 and found my hero, my Dad, passed away in his bedroom. I was 16 and nobody else was home, and didn't handle it how I should have. I turned to heroin, as when I slept, it didn't hurt and I didn't think. I struggled with that lifestyle for a few years, until I managed to pull myself away and get clean. I always thought I was "over it", and as much as I missed him, I thought that chapter was finished.

Fast forward 25 years, and that chapter reappeared and one day at work, after hearing my Dad calling me, I had a breakdown when I couldn't find him. The pain I felt all those years ago was back, and I became a shell of the man I was. It felt as though Dad had just passed, and the grieving I didn't do, was now eating away at me like a monster. I hid from my mum and Brothers, because seeing them would remind me of the pain we all went through, and I wasn't strong enough to face it. I tried not to sleep, as the dreams were so vivid and I shut myself away, hoping that the hurt would pass. It didn't, and after so much love and support from my wife, I admitted something was wrong and I needed to speak to someone. The hardest part was admitting I wasn't myself, as I never talked about my feelings before, and I felt helpless admitting it.

I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2023 and i started counselling with CBT, which was hard, especially the "reliving" part. Two years on, and I am starting to feel myself again. I'm not as social as I once was and certainly not as confident, but I will get there hopefully. I always thought PTSD was a combat diagnosis, so I learned about it, and spent along time trying to understand why this is happening and what it will mean for the rest of my life.

Feeling positive about things is something I am finally getting at, and I want to use that positivity to raise funds for a charity that helps people like myself, who learn to become ourselves again.

I will ride my bike from Gosport to Scotland as that is where the charity is based. I will be riding each day and then spending the nights in my tent until I have completed my personal goal and arrived at my destination.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, and it's really appreciated.

Any help and donations would be appreciated, and I will update daily with my progress on an Instagram account set up just for this. NO FUNDS WILL BE USED BY MYSELF, AND WILL GO DIRECT TO PTSD.UK. MY FOOD AND ANY OTHER EXPENSES WILL BE PAID BY MYSELF PERSONALLY.

Do you want to join me in making a difference? I'm raising money in aid of PTSD UK and every donation will help. Thank you in advance for your contribution to this cause that means so much to me.

More information about PTSD UK: PTSD UK is the only UK charity which educates on, and raises awareness of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it's causes, symptoms & the treatments available - no matter the trauma that caused it. PTSD UK is here to give information, to give support, to help shape UK healthcare policy to better treat those in need, and to give anyone suffering from the condition the belief that ‘Tomorrow CAN be a new day‘.

Registered Charity SC045995