A good man's last wish for his family

This is a plea for help to fulfil the wishes of the patriarch of our family, Gary Lynn Binkley Sr, who passed on December 1st 2023.

Throughout his life I learned through the people he worked with and called friend, Gary Sr was a kind conserved and good humored man. His few remaining friends who started off simply as coworkers, I can say with confidence they loved him and miss him as much as we do.

Born in to Lewellyn and Walter Binkley in Lima Ohio, September 18th 1942, he rode down many interesting roads and traveled through most of the United States both as a hobby on his old indian chiefs and to pursue new opportunities for living and life. In the 60s he served in the Army as artillery (having lost the hearing in 1 ear due to a 105 backfiring near his head) where he also worked on redstone missile systems, and may or may not have prevented a war with Mexico when a redstone went off course and would not respond to commands but he was able to successfully cause a self destruct. His work helped put Alan Shepard in space with the mercury project. He was also called on with the national guard to quell the riots when James Meredith was trying to go to Ole Miss, something he was proud of.

After having ridden his indians into the ground and traveling far, he made the journey from Florida to Los Angeles, there he met my mother in the late 70s. They fell in love and I was born in 1979 in southern california, in San Diego. We stayed all stayed together till his passing. There is no doubt in me that he was my best friend.

Late in life, his health suffered, having to go through a number of TIA (mini strokes, we lost count at a dozen) and eventually a major heart attack requiring a quintuple bypass, and a shunt pump drilled into to his skull behind his temple to drain excess cerebral spinal fluid that was building up, eventually leaving him unable to walk or get out of bed and my becoming his caregiver and hospice nurse in our 33foot winnebago. His chances were never good but he made it through every surgery. He was given roughly 5 years to live and held on for 10 for us.

A late life goal for them was to leave California and RV tour some more states, visiting family in Texas Ohio North Carolina and Florida. Their failing health being what it was, we never made it past Arizona before finances and care for them became the primary issues, and we settled in a naitive american tribal land RV park for more affordable living means. There both their health declined, with his passing due to heart failure and infection filling his lung with fluid. The VA offices were approached for emergency care to remove a gangrenous toes which spread to his entire foot, as Kaiser Permanente of san diego was refusing to perform the amputation, but it was too late. From october to december, he held on through endless visits to the ER and nurses and social workers visiting. He was denied IHSS (in home social services) as his social security income was over the 1600$ limit for a full time nurse to come aid him, as well as my being hired and trained as his nurse and to be paid we were denied both. I had to quit my last two recent jobs at UPS as a delivery assistant and driver in training and working for the 2020 census bureau and treasury department, leading to the draining of my own finances and leaving me a severe depression. Dad didn't die alone but the manner of his death is something I can't yet speak about.

The point of this now is to try and resolve a few serious matters that have fallen on the shoulders of my disabled elderly mother (Maria just turned 90 and broke her foot on her birthday last september in a fall) and to try and navigate through the system of technicalities involved with someone in the family passing away. Words like "trust" and "debt of estate" are said to us having no meaning beyond our inability to handle it any of it.

A life insurance policy was in effect for dad, of about 8000$ through Lumico Life insurance. We had hoped this would help to cover the costs of any cleaning and recovery/relocation fees for the RV, which is still owed roughly 50,000$ through USAA bank. The RV site was a near disaster due to wind and rain coming through constantly, and I was needing many hands to try to clean the RV enough to be sold or repossessed by USAA and restore the camp site to the condition when we first moved in several years ago. Costs piled up as did our stress and despair.

We recently came to find that at some point in the past, apparently Gary Sr "surrendered" the life insurance policy over a year ago (not mentioning it to anyone), and not entirely sure what that even meant, we were denied the payment. The costs of storing cleaning and moving were enough to cause us to be negative funds in moms account and my own navy fed account being at 2 dollars, I can do nothing to help. We are suspicious of this with no real course of action, as after the october 2022 "surrender" of the policy, they continued to take the monthly fee of 120$ up until his passing last december. We were being billed for I am not sure what, and as happened in the past, he may he mistakenly agreed to something not fully understanding. One of the symptoms the medical techs and his doctors mentioned of his strokes would be not being fully cognizant of surroundings, his actions or being able to understand, as his medical forms and visits all would indicate. This led to severe financial issues in 2022 when he got covid in a skilled nursing home after a ER visit, and signed paperwork giving them authorization to take his entire SSI income with an unrecognizable signature, and him not remembering it and threatening to sue them as they did not contact anyone for medical proxy. This took a few months to correct, and in that time bills went unpaid and penalties took any savings they had and having me no choice but to drive him around san diego going to check cash stores for weekly loans.

We are grateful to the army for providing dad with a space to rest, but I do wish it was more commonly known that they won't provide any help to families in need to cover costs of cremation or transportation to the base, or for the flag and honor guard. Mom will be paying for that out of her social security income. He will be placed at Miramar marine corps air station, jan 26th, but any costs for services or anything above what they are covering such as an urn or placard we are receiving as donations and loans from other family members, draining their resources and causing further stress to my mother who has been crying for a month as her partner of 45 years is gone and she is struggling. My heart was broken too often in life to be of much help and I can never have a family of my own, but for her I am trying this one last thing on gofundme

Any needed documents such as IHSS denial or life insurance payout denial can be provided if needed, and gladly will post or send his own personal bio he was working on through the years that touches on some of the things I've written here in far better detail with the colorful way only he could describe.

All moneys from this fund will go to pay off any outstanding debt that gets placed on his widow and temporarily myself as things are put in reclaimation. His past debts of which could include the last months social security income of 2800$ the government wants returned (they deposit on the 3rd, he passed on the 1st, so they want it back), up to a 6900$ capital one credit debt, whatever payment and reclamation fee for the RV that is still in a storage lot in Alpine California as well as the monthly storage fee, the cost of cremation and transportation for his remains, and monthly bills such as their shared storage shed, vehicle insurance and registration which now fall on Maria to pay for. She will become the owner of this gofundme account, as I was given 14days to stay with her in her elderly senior care facility as a guest but having no income or formal address (I was not on the rental agreement at the Alpine RV park other than a +1) I will have to leave here and will be entirely homeless with no friends near enough to help and family with no room or struggling financially on their own. Where I end up hopefully close enough to visit her and hoping the county/state can do their best to care for her when I am gone, as I do not know where to go and have no funds to get there.

Thank you for reading and considering helping us. The world is very bleak for many right now I do see it, but mine feels to be gone already and all I hope for now is some piece of mind for mom and to pay back some of what is owed to family and collectors, to keep his wife from bankruptcy and myself close enough to be able to help out with what she needs . Thank you for any and all help.

Sincerely, Gary Jr and Maria